1. Radiation doesn't necessarily kill people. It just causes them to turn into hideous mutants that must be killed by the few people who magically escaped the radiation.
2. Radiation doesn't necessarily kill animals. Instead, it usually causes them to increase in size. To such a size, that they can eat people and knock over buildings.
3. There is no threat to world destruction, which a specially placed nuclear explosion can't stop.
4. All aliens are either smooth-skinned, big-headed creatures, reptiles or green.
- If they are the smooth-skinned, big-headed kind, they consider themselves our intellectual superiors who look at us in disgust, and want to enslave us.
- If they are the reptilian kind, they just want to EAT us.
- If they are the green kind, they just want to destroy us and take our planet.
5. In the year 2000, we will be driving around in flying cars.
6. In the year 2000, everyone will have a robot servant to do all the menial chores, but those robots will turn against us.
7. In the year 2000, we will have colonies on the moon, and a flight to the moon will be like a flight to California today.
8. In the distant future, the human race will evolve into smooth-skinned, big-headed creatures who will consider themselves our superiors and look at us in disgust, and probably think we'd make pretty good slaves.
9. Many planets that have never known the human race still have females that are really hot by human standards.
10. You can't be a star ship captain if you aren't buff.
11. Every starship must have a beautiful, hot babe and an aloof scientist type.
12. It is SO possible to travel faster than the speed of light.
13. If you travel back in time, you can't change major events, but you can change minor events. Or if you change major events, it will always make things change for the worse, so you have to go back and fix it.
14. In the future, all clothes will be made out of shiny metallic silvery material.
15. Hair styles will be exactly the same as in the past.
16. People CAN survive a nuclear war.
17. Even though the human race will live in peace and harmony, all the best jobs are taken by white males.
18. Even though the human race will live in peace and harmony with many other alien races, humans, mostly white males, will have all the important jobs.
19. Even though the galaxy is full of different and unique alien races, the race that occurs naturally on many different planets is the human race.
20. Although humans went from using the steam engine to traveling to the moon in about 100 years, it took the other races thousands of years. And because the humans' technology has advanced more quickly than their morals, they are a danger to the other races.
If you can think of any other things science fiction teaches us, please feel free to add onto the list in the comments section.
Here are a few more--
ReplyDelete--all earthlings as well as all alien species will speak perfect, nonaccented English.
--if you travel into the future, no one will understand your bizarre customs and rituals, except for one "history buff," who will help you understand this strange new world.
--in the future/on other planets, patriarchy will be solidly in place, and if by some rare chance the culture is matriarchal, it will turn out that the female leaders are freaky "man-eaters"
--aliens from one planet have no different races--they all look exactly the same.
those are good ones.
ReplyDeletebut they do speak with an accent - midwestern American English!
you're right, it is an "accent"--very ethnocentric of me...
ReplyDeletethe grasshopper is humbled again.