HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Signs You're Getting Older

More cleaning out of my emails.

Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
"I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
You're the one calling the police because those dang kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your soul.