Ten Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween
10. You get winded from knocking on the door
9. You have to have someone chew the candy for you
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Why Pumpkins are better than Men
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!
5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.
6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.
7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.
8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.
The Top 10 Houses to AVOID while Trick-or Treating
1. Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole.
2. Any house made of food.
3. Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement.
4. Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it.
5. Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas.
6. Any house that growls "get out."
7. Any house where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor.
8. Any house that looks like a giant pulsating orb floating 3 feet off the
ground.
9. Any house with various and extremely realistic statues in the front yard
of people in odd "running away" poses.
10. Any house that wasn't there only a minute ago...
I already posted this, but fits in, so I'm posting it again! - OMGeek
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