BAT BOY SCARES MALL SANTAPosted on Friday, November 28th, 2008
By Allie Pruitt
A lull in the line occurred when the children heard Best Buy had just received a shipment of Rock Band 2. Bat Boy, hiding in the cover of the giant Christmas tree, saw his one chance and took it. He scurried up to Santa, shrieking with excitement, and tried to hand over his guano-covered list.
Seeing only a blur of big pointy ears and sharp teeth, the mall Santa took off at high-speed, making it to the food court before tripping over his baggy red pants and crashing head first into the Cinnabon stand.
OBAMA INVITES ALIEN CHOIR TO WHITE HOUSEPosted on Monday, December 8th, 2008
By Samuel T. Westbrook
WASHINGTON, DC - President-Elect Obama asserted influence this weekend, advising President Bush on which holiday choir to pick for the White House - and they’re aliens!
The Qwoak Intergalactic Boys Choir, famous for their recent holiday albums “I Saw Mommy Kissing Frozen Santa Claus” and “Rudolph the Twelve Nosed Reindeer,” have been performing choral choirs around the country.
Rahm Emmanuel, Obama’s Chief of Staff, was on the phone with current White House staff to get the Qwoak Intergalactic Boys Choir to be brought on as the official White House Choir this holiday season.
“The President-Elect is committed to using the White House as a platform for advancing and bettering the American culture,” Emmanuel said. “What better way to do that then by introducing Americans to the most talented artists, not just from America, not just from Earth, but the entire galaxy.”
A link to the complete article and original site
ALIENS BUY UP BLACK FRIDAY DEALSPosted on Friday, November 28th, 2008
By Samuel T. Westbrook
CHICAGO, IL – With the economy continuing its roller-coaster ride this week, retailers are expecting a different type of crowd.
Interplanetary shoppers are anticipated to make up as much as 74% of Black Friday shoppers. Americans are tightening their belts and keeping their wallets pocketed this holiday season as bonuses are cut and lay-offs looming right around the corner.
Although big box retailers like Wal-Mart and Best Buy have not seen significant growth during the financial crisis, online retailers of those same companies, as well as Amazon.com have noted that interplanetary and intergalactic sales are booming.
“If you thought it got ugly when hundreds of mid-westerners rush around a store trying to grab up sale items, just wait until six-armed, three-headed, slime-covered 14-foot tall aliens are fighting over a Tickle-Me Elmo.”
1 Comment For This Post
1. wazntowas says:
November 29th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
OMG, the photographer in this store has to provide the location, the 2nd alien is the one that abducted my cousin and did an anal probe on him.
A link to the complete article and original site
ALIENS USING KOTA TOYS TO DESTROY EARTHPosted on Friday, December 19th, 2008
By Samuel T. Westbrook
TOKYO, JAPAN – Just days before Christmas, evidence has been found that exposes an alien plot to destroy the Earth and enslave mankind – using toys!
The Kota, a 40-inch robotic baby triceratops, is one of the most in-demand toys this holiday season. The first robot of its kind, a dinosaur children can ride, the Kota has been flying off shelves since its recent release and demand has yet to slow.
Representatives from Playskool, the company that supposedly manufactures and distributes the Kota, have declined to comment on the emerging details regarding a possible alien invasion.
Unnamed sources have leaked details to Weekly World News that some time after Christmas, once all of the Kotas have been opened from their boxes throughout the world, a signal will alert them to “wake up.”
A link to all my Christmas posts
Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you're celebrating!
MY CHRISTMAS INTERNET RADIO STATIONS
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Edition
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Rock and Punk Edition
OlderMusicGeek's Christmas QuickMix
powered by PANDORA
But if you don't have Pandora, you can hear some of songs at http://www.playlist.com/oldermusicgeek
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