CULTURE/SOCIETY: A New Study on Blogs and Sex

My girlfriend, The Sassy Witch, sent me this. - OlderMusicGeek.

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read
their blogs with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Feeling Old?

My girlfriend, The Sassy Witch, sent me the first part. I've read others like it, but I figured with some of the younger people I know, it was worth posting. - OlderMusicGeek

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987.


They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws!

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.


Do you feel old yet? (Sorry) Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading.

Save the earth.
It's the only planet with chocolate!

I found out about this site from Pack of 2. This is what it had to say about me.

You are 42 years old and about:
46 years 11 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 89
42 years 3 months younger than Nancy Reagan, age 84
39 years 4 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 81
32 years 0 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 74
29 years 10 months younger than Larry King, age 72
23 years 8 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 66
20 years 3 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 62
17 years 3 months younger than George W. Bush, age 59
12 years 2 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 54
7 years 11 months younger than Bill Gates, age 50
3 years 1 month younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 45
2 years 9 months older than Mike Tyson, age 39
6 years 10 months older than Jennifer Lopez, age 35
12 years 3 months older than Tiger Woods, age 30
18 years 9 months older than Prince William, age 23

and that you were:
37 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
36 years old on the first day of Y2K
33 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
31 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
30 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
29 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
27 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
26 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
22 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
20 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
19 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
17 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
16 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
12 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July
10 years old when President Nixon left office
8 years old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot
5 years old at the time the first man stepped on the moon
4 years old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated
a 1 year old during the Watts riot
not yet 1 year old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated

This site will also tell you how your age compares to musicians, movie stars and tv stars and how old you were when events in music, movies and tv happened. You can click here to see mine. - OlderMusicGeek

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: A Men's Guide For Dealing With PMS

My girlfriend, The Sassy Witch, sent me this. I hope I'm not in trouble! - OlderMusicGeek


Hormones

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly: Men Suck!
12. Pack My Stuff.....
..And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

HUMOR: Not Coming Into Work

My mother sent me this one. Thought you all would enjoy it. - OlderMusicGeek


A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today!"

CULTURE/SOCIETY: A Site of a Friend and One form a Relative

If you what see what kind of people I know in the REAL world - as opposed to the virtual world - here are a couple of websites.

http://www.freddgorham.com/ - this is the site from old buddy of mine I met in the comic book club I have been in for over 25 years and since I was in high school. He was going to a famous comic book artist. He still does some comics and artwork for gaming magazines, but earns his big bucks as website developer.

Harmonica 23 - my kid brother's website. He's actually in his early 30's, so he's not a kid. But he's ten years younger than me, so he'll always be my kid brother!

HUMOR: The Secret Origin of The Scanning Man

I got this nickname at work. And then one of the scanners suggested I get a suit with DSM on the chest. And having read comics in high school and college, I realized I would need a secret origin. So I can up with this. - OlderMusicGeek

THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE SCANNING MAN

From the mists of Africa, from the insurance capital of America and from the land of digital image reproduction, comes a hero. A hero needed when insurance claims stacks are too high, when only speed and efficiency will do. A hero who knows his way around a computer, a scanning device and a cart overfilling insurance claims of all sorts – UB’s, HCFA’s, TMC’s, and even Medically Needy!

Unbeknownst to those who don’t pay attention to what our hero says, our hero spent many years teaching in The Mountain Kingdom near the southern edge of Africa. There, he befriended a traditional doctor when! he translated a big-worded government form for him that in the end really had little to do with the doctor, but to waste paper was passed out to all in the vicinity. In gratitude, the traditional doctor taught our hero ancient secrets in improving one’s speed, stamina and ability to keep one’s self amused while performing long, boring, repetitive tasks. (We won’t mention that the secrets involve using homebrew and dagga!)

So when our hero returned to his hometown, the raging metropolis with more insurance companies per capita than any other town, he knew how just to use those abilities. He adapted these ancient African skills to the modern technology of digital computerized image reproduction! Suddenly, he was able to send papers more quickly through the machines for longer times than any mere mortal.

So when medical and dental forms inch towards the ceiling, and adjusters are screaming in need for the latest UB-92 or Dental 1999-Version 2000, a mild-mannered scanner forsakes his secret identity and becomes…

THE SCANNING MAN!!!!!!

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Breakfast Quiz

Here's another thing Ernest T Spoon sent me. - OlderMusicGeek


Breakfast Quiz

In the middle of the table is a food tray with five kinds of fruits on it.
They are:

a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange

Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!

Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN





If you have chosen:

a. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples
b. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas
c. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries
d. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches
e. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges

I hope you find fulfillment in this new insight about yourself. May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquility and all that other profound stuff.


Also I bet that right now you would like to find me and kick my butt.

Well, You won't find me....because I am still hunting down the person who sent this to me...