My girlfriend, The Sassy Witch, sent me this. I hope I'm not in trouble! - OlderMusicGeek
Hormones
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly: Men Suck!
12. Pack My Stuff.....
..And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.
ABOUT ME
- MY OTHER STUPID STUFF:
Just your typical middle-aged divorced father (of a teenage daughter)/music fanatic/local bands supporter/nerd-geek-dork/smartass/movie lover/tv watcher/book reader/former comicbook collector/science fiction fan/slob/science buff/casual philosopher/spirituality peruser/ponytail wearer/world traveler/big Lipstick Homicide fan/huge Violent Femmes fan/Sigourney Weaver crusher/rabid Journey hater/liberal/mostly straight former cross dresser from Des Moines, Iowa, U.S.A.
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