HUMOR: Chinese Proverbs

My friend, The Computer/Music Nerd, sent me this email. He said it was in retaliation for all the bad emails I've sent him. - OlderMusicGeek.

Virginity is like a bubble, one prick and it's all gone.
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One who runs in front of a car gets tired.
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One who runs behind car gets exhausted.
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A man with his hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.
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A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano, a wise man gives his wife an upright organ.
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A man who walks through an airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
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One with one chopstick will go hungry.
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One who scratches ass should not bite one's fingernails.
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One who eats many prunes will get a good run for one's money.
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Baseball is wrong: a man with four balls cannot walk.
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Panties are not the best thing on earth! But they are the next to the best thing on earth.
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Wife who puts her husband in the doghouse soon find him in a cat house.
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It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
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One who drives like hell is bound to get there.
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One who stands on a toilet is high on pot.
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One who lives in glass house should change clothes in the basement.
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A man who fishes in another man's well often catches crabs.
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One who farts in church sits in one's own pew.
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Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.