ON OLDERMUSICGEEK'S STUPID ENTERTAINMENT STUFF: "MUSIC: My Destiny With Devo" (just click here)

SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY and HUMOR: If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

My friend, The Computer/Music Nerd, sent me this joke. It from The Linux Gazette. - OlderMusicGeek

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

Different versions of this joke have been floating around the net for the past couple years, but I found this one especially hilarious. It was found by Bruce Kingsland. The original author is unknown.

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

A link to the original web page
A link to the The Linux Gazette
A link to posts involving The Computer/Music Nerd

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Why I Haven't Written For So Long And Why Zuhn Thinks Other Bloggers Write

Okay, I know it's been over a month! What can i say? I'm sure my four regular readers are suffering from severe withdraw!

*I stare into the auditorium and wave at The Computer/Music Nerd, Tudor Rose, The "Jamaican" and some guy from Ireland.*

I could give lots of excuses - for instance.. I just went off a medication that I had been taking for 6 months and one of the withdraw symptoms was insomnia, so I was too dead tired to sleep. And my computer is acting up, making my internet connection re-e-e-e-e-eal slow sometimes. Also, I had been working lots of extra hours. Plus, it's finally warm and I got spring fever! - If my slowing down of postings from the blogs I read is any indication, it seems a lot of people have something better to do than sit in front of a computer, now that it is FINALLY warm again!

I could say those things, but I won't!

I am going to try to get back to the grindstone again. I make no promises though. It depends, in part, how my sleep goes - and how busy I am this summer!

But I have started Twitter, so you can keep up with me there. Though I'll probably add my "tweets" here anyway.

In fact, here's my first one - well, i'm finally starting twitter after a couple of years. i broke down because i wanted to respond to my friend's tweets! 12:31 PM May 10, 2008 from web

Funny thing is - I'm having trouble figuring out how to respond to people's tweets!

But in the meantime, here's an old piece by one of the bloggers I read regularly, Zuhn...

oh boy!
Posted on Monday 4 April 2005

Well, in full procrastination mode, I have been scanning through some random blogs. I have discovered three trends. One, blogs written by funny, insightful people usually in the freelance writing/editing business. Two, blogs written by religious freaks out to spread their love for Jesus just in case God got bored and decided to google “God” and happened onto their inane-youth-league touting blog and then God said “Well, obviously a devoted soul, let me put his name down on the guest list to heaven”. And three, blogs written by boring people who tell us about their boring little lives like someone will actually read it, all the while dreaming of their immanent popularity. I think I’m quickly falling into that third category. I hope not.

A link to Zuhn's "oh boy!" post
A link to Zuhn's Vanity Run Amok blog
A link to my Twitter page

SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Car Karma

My friend, The Computer/Music Nerd, emailed the link to this AGES ago. - OlderMusicGeek

Car Carma

When bad things happen to good drivers, is your "Astrological Sign" to blame?
Car Carma describes the influence your astrological sign has over your driving.

Here’s what drove me to write the book on "Car Carma" says Lee Romanov, president of InsuranceHotline.com: “I wondered why some drivers always got into accidents and others always got tickets. So I compared 100,000 drivers, their tickets and accidents, to their astrological sign. The results are overwhelming, showing drivers of certain astrological signs are prone to getting more tickets, while others seemed destined to have accidents".

Over All Worst To Best Driver’s Astrological Signs For Tickets & Accidents

Here are the Astrological Signs that had the most influence over drivers, causing them to have the greatest number of tickets and accidents, from worst to best.

Number 1 Worst :
Libra - Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
Libra is the "sign of the scales", it craves balance and consensus. Libra doesn’t like to make snap decisions. But rush hour traffic is not a time for seeking driver approval, or for being indecisive.

2nd Worst Position :
Aquarius - Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
They’re impulsive, and ruled by the Planet of speed and rebellion. Aquarians need to get a better grip behind the wheel.

3rd Worst Position :
Aries - Mar. 21 to Apr. 19
Its symbol is the ram. Not good a sign to have for avoiding accidents. Aries have a "me first" child-like nature, that drives Aries into trouble.

4th Worst Position :
Pisces - Feb. 19 to Mar. 20
This sign enjoys daydreaming. So wake up Pisces, driving in the “real world" requires your complete attention.

5th Worst Position :
Scorpio - Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
The scorpion’s instinct is to get revenge, and driving is the perfect avenue to vent a little Scorpion road rage. If you pass a Scorpio, plan on being chased.

6th Worst Position :
Taurus - Apr. 20 to May 20
The astrological sign for Taurus is the bull. They’re stubborn, and have an urge to charge at red lights.

7th Worst Position :
Sagittarius - Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
They’re risk-takers, but they’re experienced risk takers, and know that stunt driving should be left to the professionals. This is a talkative group, and they should consider putting their cell phone down and just driving.

8th Worst Position :
Capricorn - Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Capricorn is goal oriented. They’re more concerned about the destination than the journey. They feel that the rules of the road are for other drivers to follow so that Capricorns can get to their destination faster.

9th Worst Position :
Virgo - Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
Virgos have a nervous attention to detail. They made the cover of the Car Carma book. They’d be slamming their brakes on to avoid hitting a squirrel, but cause a 10 car pile-up.

3rd Best Position :
Cancer - June 21 to July 22
They’re homebodies, and consider the roadway of drivers their extended family. But they’re a moody group, and would be the ones to honk at you for no reason at all.

2nd Best Position :
Gemini - May 21 to June 20
Geminis are the original multi-taskers. They can eat, drink, read the newspaper, shave, or apply make-up all while driving, although this is NOT recommended, even if you're a Gemini. It’s the sign of the twins; while one is driving the other co-pilots.

Number 1 Best :
Leo - Jul. 23 to Aug. 22
Leo is generous, and comfortable in sharing the roadway. They‘re known for having a huge ego, which is their driving force to be the best.

Tickets & The Driver's Sign

Here are the Astrological Signs that had the most influence over drivers, causing them to have the greatest number of tickets, from worst to best.

1. Pisces – Worst
2. Aries
3. Aquarius
4. Capricorn
5. Libra
6. Taurus
7. Scorpio
8. Leo
9. Cancer
10. Virgo
11. Sagittarius
12. Gemini – Best

Accidents & The Driver's Sign

Here are the Astrological Signs that had the most influence over drivers, causing them to have the greatest number of accidents, from worst to best.

1. Libra – Worst
2. Scorpio
3. Capricorn
4. Aries
5. Aquarius
6. Sagittarius
7. Pisces
8. Taurus
9. Virgo
10. Gemini
11. Cancer
12. Leo – Best

Car Carma is an information packed book that describes which astrological signs represent the best and worst drivers. It also gives "insider information" on what you need to know about tickets, accidents, insurance and the law before it's too late.

A link to the original site

POLITICS and SCIENCE: Some Interesting Arguments on Global Warming

My friend, The Computer/Music Nerd, turned me on to these videos. I found them interesting - hope you will too. And perfect for Halloween! :) - OlderMusicGeek.






More videos by the same guy

HUMOR: Chinese Proverbs

My friend, The Computer/Music Nerd, sent me this email. He said it was in retaliation for all the bad emails I've sent him. - OlderMusicGeek.

Virginity is like a bubble, one prick and it's all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who runs in front of a car gets tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who runs behind car gets exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A man with his hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano, a wise man gives his wife an upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A man who walks through an airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One with one chopstick will go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who scratches ass should not bite one's fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who eats many prunes will get a good run for one's money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: a man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties are not the best thing on earth! But they are the next to the best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who puts her husband in the doghouse soon find him in a cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who drives like hell is bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who stands on a toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who lives in glass house should change clothes in the basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A man who fishes in another man's well often catches crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One who farts in church sits in one's own pew.
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: You Know You're Living in 2007 when...

Another piece my friend, The Computer/Music Nerd, sent me. - OlderMusicGeek. (If you're wondering what's up with all these blogs, I'm cleaning out my emails!)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7 Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
: )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Lord of the OS

My longest friend, The Computer/Music Nerd, sent me. Thought I'd pass it on. - OlderMusicGeek

Microsoft Windows 98's secret:

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned having recently installed Windows 98 on my PC and that I am very happy with this operating system. I also showed him the Windows 98 CD, and to my surprise he threw it into my microwave oven and turned on the oven. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is
unharmed.'

After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but then on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription; an inscription finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as
if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204
F5320746F2066696E64207468656D2CDA4F6E65204F5320746F20627269
6E67207468656D20616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E657
3732062696E64207468656D

'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said.

'No,' he said 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

"Those who used the Ninety-Eight became mighty in their day, kings, sorcerers, and warriors of old. They obtained glory and great wealth, yet it turned to their undoing. They had, as it seemed, unending life, yet life became unendurable to them. They could walk, if they would, unseen by all eyes in this world beneath the sun, and they could see things in worlds invisible to mortal men; but too often they beheld only the phantoms and delusions of Bill Gates. And one by one, sooner or later, according to their native strength and to the good or evil of their wills in the beginning, they fell under the thralldom of the OS that they bore and of the domination of the One which was Bill's. And they became forever invisible save to him that wore the Ruling Ring, and they entered into the realm of shadows. The Shills were they, the beguiled, the Enemy's most terrible servants; darkness went with them, and they cried with the voices of death"