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Showing posts with label cannibalism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cannibalism. Show all posts
Friday, December 21, 2012
Friday, October 01, 2010
MY LIFE: A Visit To Peculiar Missouri, Part 3: The Robot Revolution And Why Peculiar Is Peculiar, And Not!
Sorry it's taken so long to get part 3 done. If it's any consolation, I'm already over half way done with the next post! - OlderMusicGeek
Link to Part 1
Link to Part 2
Now it was my turn to eat.
I skip the truck stop next to the freeway because I figure it will mostly have people pulling off the freeway for a bite to eat, and I want to go somewhere where all the Peculiar people go!
So we go to the u-shape strip mall where we saw a couple of the restaurants.
I go to a sandwich place first. It seems like it would be more Peculiar than the Mexican or Chinese place there.
It is strangely named with the simple “The Sandwich Shop”. It was if it was named by someone who did know how to name a sandwich place.
When I go to the door, I notice the place has no signs or menus on the wall and is completely empty of furniture except a counter, placed there as if it were some prop!
It was, of course, locked. So I went to the Mexican restaurant. But it also was locked and looked like it hadn't been used in ages. Also, it was looking like a prop with the front of the restaurant bare except for the sign with its name.
Then I went to the Chinese restaurant. Same story, locked, bare, only a sign, the same prop look.
“What the hell? Don't the people in this town eat?”
Of course, that's when it hit me! Do they? The only restaurants that were open were the two that get business from the freeway!
Good Lord, did we stumble into a town of robots? Cannibals? Human-eating aliens?
Then I remembered there was still the greasy spoon further in town. It was a risk, but by god, I had to see it through.
So I hopped in the car and drove further into this town of danger and mystery!
Unfortunately, the danger and mystery wasn't very forthcoming. The diner was your typical small town diner. Old and a bit run down, but clean and well taken care of.
And the two teenagers working there were your typical laid back teenagers. The girl dressed in shorts and t-shirt. No long skirt like someone who didn't know how people really dress.
And the guy wore jeans that hung off his buttocks. And he snuck peaks at the girl in the shorts when she wasn't looking. Damn it, typical teenager behavior, not like robots at all!
About the only thing peculiar going on that diner was the half-white, half-black kid sitting alone leaned back in her chair bobbing her head to her iPod. But that's pretty typical behavior for my daughter.
And everyone who came in while I waited for my food were annoyingly normal! My god, did I somehow get to Normal, Illinois, by mistake? Was that what made this town peculiar? It sent you through some space anomaly to Normal? But then why was everything named Peculiar This and Peculiar That?
I finally couldn't take it anymore! I asked one of the other customers if she was from Peculiar. I think she started to think I was peculiar! Imagine that!
Anyway, she said she wasn't originally from there, but had been living there for over fifteen years. So I asked her if she knew why the town was called “Peculiar”.
She gave a story that pretty follows what the website for the town of Peculiar said.
The story basically goes like this...
The early settlers had a hard time picking a name for their little spot on the map. After arguing over it a few times in the general store, they sent three names to the post office, who I guess makes the town names official.
Well, it seems the three names the settlers chose were already taken, so the fed up town told the post-master general that they didn't care what they got “so long as it is sort of peculiar”.
Apparently the post-master general either had a sense of humor or was a smart ass... or maybe he was just fed up with town. Or possibly all three!
But he wrote to the town, “in all the land it would be difficult to imagine a more distinctive, a more peculiar name than Peculiar.” And that, supposably, is how the town got it's name... and not because it's populated by aliens, demons or robots, dang it!
So that pretty much concluded our adventures in Peculiar. I ate my chicken sandwich, which tasted fine and not funny at all. Then I got in the car, and my daughter and I hopped on the Peculiar exit and head out town, and I must say we did so rather disappointed.
But I guess now, one of these days, when we go to Chicago, we'll have to check out just how normal Normal, Illinois, really is...
Link to Part 1
Link to Part 2
Now it was my turn to eat.
I skip the truck stop next to the freeway because I figure it will mostly have people pulling off the freeway for a bite to eat, and I want to go somewhere where all the Peculiar people go!
So we go to the u-shape strip mall where we saw a couple of the restaurants.
I go to a sandwich place first. It seems like it would be more Peculiar than the Mexican or Chinese place there.
It is strangely named with the simple “The Sandwich Shop”. It was if it was named by someone who did know how to name a sandwich place.
When I go to the door, I notice the place has no signs or menus on the wall and is completely empty of furniture except a counter, placed there as if it were some prop!
It was, of course, locked. So I went to the Mexican restaurant. But it also was locked and looked like it hadn't been used in ages. Also, it was looking like a prop with the front of the restaurant bare except for the sign with its name.
Then I went to the Chinese restaurant. Same story, locked, bare, only a sign, the same prop look.
“What the hell? Don't the people in this town eat?”
Of course, that's when it hit me! Do they? The only restaurants that were open were the two that get business from the freeway!
Good Lord, did we stumble into a town of robots? Cannibals? Human-eating aliens?
Then I remembered there was still the greasy spoon further in town. It was a risk, but by god, I had to see it through.
So I hopped in the car and drove further into this town of danger and mystery!
Unfortunately, the danger and mystery wasn't very forthcoming. The diner was your typical small town diner. Old and a bit run down, but clean and well taken care of.
And the two teenagers working there were your typical laid back teenagers. The girl dressed in shorts and t-shirt. No long skirt like someone who didn't know how people really dress.
And the guy wore jeans that hung off his buttocks. And he snuck peaks at the girl in the shorts when she wasn't looking. Damn it, typical teenager behavior, not like robots at all!
About the only thing peculiar going on that diner was the half-white, half-black kid sitting alone leaned back in her chair bobbing her head to her iPod. But that's pretty typical behavior for my daughter.
And everyone who came in while I waited for my food were annoyingly normal! My god, did I somehow get to Normal, Illinois, by mistake? Was that what made this town peculiar? It sent you through some space anomaly to Normal? But then why was everything named Peculiar This and Peculiar That?
I finally couldn't take it anymore! I asked one of the other customers if she was from Peculiar. I think she started to think I was peculiar! Imagine that!
Anyway, she said she wasn't originally from there, but had been living there for over fifteen years. So I asked her if she knew why the town was called “Peculiar”.
She gave a story that pretty follows what the website for the town of Peculiar said.
The story basically goes like this...
The early settlers had a hard time picking a name for their little spot on the map. After arguing over it a few times in the general store, they sent three names to the post office, who I guess makes the town names official.
Well, it seems the three names the settlers chose were already taken, so the fed up town told the post-master general that they didn't care what they got “so long as it is sort of peculiar”.
Apparently the post-master general either had a sense of humor or was a smart ass... or maybe he was just fed up with town. Or possibly all three!
But he wrote to the town, “in all the land it would be difficult to imagine a more distinctive, a more peculiar name than Peculiar.” And that, supposably, is how the town got it's name... and not because it's populated by aliens, demons or robots, dang it!
So that pretty much concluded our adventures in Peculiar. I ate my chicken sandwich, which tasted fine and not funny at all. Then I got in the car, and my daughter and I hopped on the Peculiar exit and head out town, and I must say we did so rather disappointed.
But I guess now, one of these days, when we go to Chicago, we'll have to check out just how normal Normal, Illinois, really is...
Monday, February 09, 2009
CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Scent Of Seduction With A Hint Of Flame-Broiled Meat
Well, with Valentine's Day coming up, I thought I present this in case you missed it last Christmas. - OlderMusicGeek
Have you always wanted to smell like a hot juicy burger from Burger King? Burger King is making that dream come true without you have to rub those burgers on yourself. - The Post Chronicle: Burger King Fragrance: Cologne Smells Like A Juicy Burger
If men cannot get enough of Burger King’s grilled meat burgers and Whoppers, they can now use Burger King’s new body spray called Flame to smell like its burgers. - Trendite: Burger King Launches BK Flame Body Spray For Men (www.FireMeetsDesire.com)
The novel idea by burger king has come up to welcome Christmas and new year holiday season where Flame could be great gifts for those meat-loving men as it is being promoted as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat“. - Thandian News: Burger King launches ‘Flame’ men Cologne, available at firemeetsdesire.com
After learning about Burger King®’s recent launch of FLAME™, a body spray that purportedly carries the scent of BK’s own flame-broiled hamburger’s, I began to wonder whether or not the fast-food giant’s legal team had considered fully the liability issues that might accompany the use of this product by BK loyalists...
My concern, however, lies in the possibly-unintended result of a customer’s using this product — let’s call it the “FLAME™ Effect.” Instead of attracting women a la the “AXE Effect,” a person’s use of FLAME™ is likely to attract the unwanted attention of carnivorous animals — domesticated and non-domesticated alike — who happen to be downwind from the person wearing the body spray. That “attraction,” in turn, might result in bodily harm to the wearer who will be advised by out-of-work trial lawyers like John Edwards to sue. - Bob McCarty Writes: Burger King Warned About Body Spray Lawsuits
Burger King is now selling this limited edition men’s body spray online and at select Ricky’s stores, because, uh, there is nothing more sensual than smelling like a pimply teen who works for minimum wage over the burger grill? Stay in your lane, Burger King! I don’t go to Sephora for a milkshake and basket of fries...
Obviously we had to run out and buy some so that Flavorpill staffers could test it immediately. Their horrified reactions — which were well worth the $4 Rickys is charging — below. Note that none of them mention the word “meat”.
1. “Liquid plastic cut with antibacterial hand soap.”
2. “Just like fresh acetone.”
3. “Smells like 7th grade. Or what I imagine the 7th grade boys locker room to
smell like.”
4. “It smells like bellybutton lint.”
5. “This is for a dude? I once dated a girl who smelled just like this.”
6. “Headgear.”
- FlavorWire: Flame-Broiled Meat, the New Man Musk? [Test Drive]
I love meat. I'm an unrepentant carnivore. I've extolled the virtues of pork time and again, but what I really want to eat every single day is a bloody steak. And often I do. Which means I'll probably die one day in the not so distant future of a heart attack. But I'll die happy, sated, and oblivious to any notion of deprivation, so (bleep) if I care, unless the vodka martini I've ordered with that death steak is only half-consumed by the time I keel over.
Burger King, I kid you not, has come out with a cologne. I know I should like this, I really should. But the thing is, I don't like it when people smell like meat (a little salty meat-sweat, like the way you smell after you've been stuffing your face at the ballpark, is okay). It reminds me of our own fleshy-ness, and my mind drifts to cannibalism and mortality, two unappetizing thoughts. Just last night, Diana and I were trying to figure out where we were going to have Korean BBQ, and it was a toss-up between two of our favorite haunts. Ultimately, we picked the place where we wouldn't emerge smelling like charred human meat.
Furthermore, cologne is designed, apart from its purpose to mask B.O., to get people to (bleep) you. But I don't want to literally (bleep) a piece of meat, although I won't judge you if you do (okay, I will a little). I want that kind of meat to smell like cheap soap and laundry detergent, in that order, and then have my bloody steak after, when I'm done with it. - Disgrasian: My Beef with Burger King's "Flame" Cologne
My friends, no one needs cologne that smells like beef. But I have a lot of things I don’t need, such as a giant marble lion toothbrush holder, many dozen classic Transformers toys, and a latex sauce pan cover shaped like a pig’s face. So enter Burger King to fill my non-need for a flame-brioled-burger-scented cologne with their new offering, Flame (note the awesome url: firemeetsdesire.com). Yes, thanks to the ever-frighetning King, you can now smell like a Whopper at your holiday party.
Fortunately, it’s available at Ricky’s NYC… so I had to go out and buy some. The bored clerks in the store were more than happy to point me to it. The lady at the register thought it was gross, then admitted that she wouldn’t mind smelling like “chicken nuggets.” I found myself agreeing with her, much to my own surprise and chagrin. Her colleague called us gross, adding that she wouldn’t object to a perfume that had the essence of soul food, including fried chicken, macaroni & cheese and greens. I paid my $3.99 and quickly stuffed the package - which looked like a shiny black condom wrapper with a burger king logo - into my bag.
After resisting the urge to spray the office vegetarians with the small bottle of Flame, I boldly applied some to my own wrists. And sprayed some in the air. The result: universal disgust. Everyone gathered around began coughing. And therein lies the horrible secret of Flame: it’s not burger-scented. It’s “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat,” which I think means it’s crappy cologne with a bit of salt rubbed into it. Try as I might, I could not smell anything related to meat. If you want to know what a Burger King smells like when it’s burning down in a horrible grease fire, though, this is probably as close as you get to the real thing. The acrid, eye-watering scent will not attract anything to you. Even my dog would start choking if it licked this off my wrist.
I’m glad I tried it, so you don’t have to. If this is what The King smells like then I don’t want him anywhere near me. - Chomposaurus: Burger King Flame: Ladies Luv It When You Smell Like Beef
Once again, America’s junk food vendors have produced something truly sub-par and repulsive. - scrapir to scrapir on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
We smelled it too and now our whole office smells like adolescent b.o. - submitted by
rawksavvy at 5:33PM on 12/17/08 on A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
Michele: "It smells like a hetero man trying to be even more hetero." - A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
My girlfriend: "Like a truckstop bathroom air freshener." - A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
Raphael: "It smells like this G.I. Joe action figure I had that would spit out a liquid you filled it with. Or like this girl I dated in junior high who had a leather jacket that smelled just like that." - A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
A local radio personality decided to try out FLAME, and his female cohort ordered it for him, and sprayed him during the show.
Nothing.
Until he left the studio.
Outside, he was set upon by flocks of crows and magpies, and pursued by a yipping pack of coyotes. When he got home, his pot-smoking son — having a mosh pit party in the basement — mistook the odor wafting through the front door, and yelled “FOOD’S HERE!”, whereupon he was set upon by a dozen bong-hungered teens. - submitted by Skunkfeathers on Bob McCarty Writes: Burger King Warned About Body Spray Lawsuits
Burger King makes a meat-scented cologne. Keep clicking the spray to change the background imag- OH MY GOD MY EYES! (firemeetsdesire.com) - submitted 1 month ago by JBaker68 on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
For the record, I think the Whopper smells like really intense BO and can’t imagine wanting to smell like one. Am I alone on this? - Bitten And Bound: Burger King Cologne “Flame”
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW? - submitted by billin [-] on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
permalink reply
Beefy! January 9, 2009
Reviewer: Kizzy Komet from st petersburg, FL United States
I bet if you apply for a job at your local BK and work a nice long 12 hour day you would not even need to purchase this wonderful spray. You would smell like it naturally. How great would that be...no need to shower after work.
Was this review helpful to you?
- Ricky's Halloween: FLAME™ Body Spray
Sweet Jesus That's Nasty!!! December 29, 2008
Reviewer: Fat Freddy Marsh from Houston, TX United States
This stuff smells like a wicked lactose intolerant fart. I mean, it's truly nauseating. I sprayed a little bit on my hand and I've nearly thrown up 7 times already. It smells like a combination of Spencer's Gifts, Hott Topix, and adolescent fear wrapped in a skunk's colon.
Washing does no good. I've tried everything. I've contemplated cutting my hands off, it's that bad. Please, someone tell me where the antidote is!
Was this review helpful to you? - Ricky's Halloween: FLAME™ Body Spray
Too fat. - submitted by razzbar [-] on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
permalink reply
Have you always wanted to smell like a hot juicy burger from Burger King? Burger King is making that dream come true without you have to rub those burgers on yourself. - The Post Chronicle: Burger King Fragrance: Cologne Smells Like A Juicy BurgerIf men cannot get enough of Burger King’s grilled meat burgers and Whoppers, they can now use Burger King’s new body spray called Flame to smell like its burgers. - Trendite: Burger King Launches BK Flame Body Spray For Men (www.FireMeetsDesire.com)
The novel idea by burger king has come up to welcome Christmas and new year holiday season where Flame could be great gifts for those meat-loving men as it is being promoted as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat“. - Thandian News: Burger King launches ‘Flame’ men Cologne, available at firemeetsdesire.com
After learning about Burger King®’s recent launch of FLAME™, a body spray that purportedly carries the scent of BK’s own flame-broiled hamburger’s, I began to wonder whether or not the fast-food giant’s legal team had considered fully the liability issues that might accompany the use of this product by BK loyalists...
My concern, however, lies in the possibly-unintended result of a customer’s using this product — let’s call it the “FLAME™ Effect.” Instead of attracting women a la the “AXE Effect,” a person’s use of FLAME™ is likely to attract the unwanted attention of carnivorous animals — domesticated and non-domesticated alike — who happen to be downwind from the person wearing the body spray. That “attraction,” in turn, might result in bodily harm to the wearer who will be advised by out-of-work trial lawyers like John Edwards to sue. - Bob McCarty Writes: Burger King Warned About Body Spray Lawsuits
Burger King is now selling this limited edition men’s body spray online and at select Ricky’s stores, because, uh, there is nothing more sensual than smelling like a pimply teen who works for minimum wage over the burger grill? Stay in your lane, Burger King! I don’t go to Sephora for a milkshake and basket of fries...Obviously we had to run out and buy some so that Flavorpill staffers could test it immediately. Their horrified reactions — which were well worth the $4 Rickys is charging — below. Note that none of them mention the word “meat”.
1. “Liquid plastic cut with antibacterial hand soap.”
2. “Just like fresh acetone.”
3. “Smells like 7th grade. Or what I imagine the 7th grade boys locker room to
smell like.”
4. “It smells like bellybutton lint.”
5. “This is for a dude? I once dated a girl who smelled just like this.”
6. “Headgear.”
- FlavorWire: Flame-Broiled Meat, the New Man Musk? [Test Drive]
I love meat. I'm an unrepentant carnivore. I've extolled the virtues of pork time and again, but what I really want to eat every single day is a bloody steak. And often I do. Which means I'll probably die one day in the not so distant future of a heart attack. But I'll die happy, sated, and oblivious to any notion of deprivation, so (bleep) if I care, unless the vodka martini I've ordered with that death steak is only half-consumed by the time I keel over.
Burger King, I kid you not, has come out with a cologne. I know I should like this, I really should. But the thing is, I don't like it when people smell like meat (a little salty meat-sweat, like the way you smell after you've been stuffing your face at the ballpark, is okay). It reminds me of our own fleshy-ness, and my mind drifts to cannibalism and mortality, two unappetizing thoughts. Just last night, Diana and I were trying to figure out where we were going to have Korean BBQ, and it was a toss-up between two of our favorite haunts. Ultimately, we picked the place where we wouldn't emerge smelling like charred human meat.Furthermore, cologne is designed, apart from its purpose to mask B.O., to get people to (bleep) you. But I don't want to literally (bleep) a piece of meat, although I won't judge you if you do (okay, I will a little). I want that kind of meat to smell like cheap soap and laundry detergent, in that order, and then have my bloody steak after, when I'm done with it. - Disgrasian: My Beef with Burger King's "Flame" Cologne
My friends, no one needs cologne that smells like beef. But I have a lot of things I don’t need, such as a giant marble lion toothbrush holder, many dozen classic Transformers toys, and a latex sauce pan cover shaped like a pig’s face. So enter Burger King to fill my non-need for a flame-brioled-burger-scented cologne with their new offering, Flame (note the awesome url: firemeetsdesire.com). Yes, thanks to the ever-frighetning King, you can now smell like a Whopper at your holiday party.
Fortunately, it’s available at Ricky’s NYC… so I had to go out and buy some. The bored clerks in the store were more than happy to point me to it. The lady at the register thought it was gross, then admitted that she wouldn’t mind smelling like “chicken nuggets.” I found myself agreeing with her, much to my own surprise and chagrin. Her colleague called us gross, adding that she wouldn’t object to a perfume that had the essence of soul food, including fried chicken, macaroni & cheese and greens. I paid my $3.99 and quickly stuffed the package - which looked like a shiny black condom wrapper with a burger king logo - into my bag.
After resisting the urge to spray the office vegetarians with the small bottle of Flame, I boldly applied some to my own wrists. And sprayed some in the air. The result: universal disgust. Everyone gathered around began coughing. And therein lies the horrible secret of Flame: it’s not burger-scented. It’s “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat,” which I think means it’s crappy cologne with a bit of salt rubbed into it. Try as I might, I could not smell anything related to meat. If you want to know what a Burger King smells like when it’s burning down in a horrible grease fire, though, this is probably as close as you get to the real thing. The acrid, eye-watering scent will not attract anything to you. Even my dog would start choking if it licked this off my wrist.
I’m glad I tried it, so you don’t have to. If this is what The King smells like then I don’t want him anywhere near me. - Chomposaurus: Burger King Flame: Ladies Luv It When You Smell Like Beef
Once again, America’s junk food vendors have produced something truly sub-par and repulsive. - scrapir to scrapir on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
We smelled it too and now our whole office smells like adolescent b.o. - submitted by
rawksavvy at 5:33PM on 12/17/08 on A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
Michele: "It smells like a hetero man trying to be even more hetero." - A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
My girlfriend: "Like a truckstop bathroom air freshener." - A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
Raphael: "It smells like this G.I. Joe action figure I had that would spit out a liquid you filled it with. Or like this girl I dated in junior high who had a leather jacket that smelled just like that." - A Hamburger Today: We Smell Burger King Flame
A local radio personality decided to try out FLAME, and his female cohort ordered it for him, and sprayed him during the show.
Nothing.
Until he left the studio.
Outside, he was set upon by flocks of crows and magpies, and pursued by a yipping pack of coyotes. When he got home, his pot-smoking son — having a mosh pit party in the basement — mistook the odor wafting through the front door, and yelled “FOOD’S HERE!”, whereupon he was set upon by a dozen bong-hungered teens. - submitted by Skunkfeathers on Bob McCarty Writes: Burger King Warned About Body Spray Lawsuits
Burger King makes a meat-scented cologne. Keep clicking the spray to change the background imag- OH MY GOD MY EYES! (firemeetsdesire.com) - submitted 1 month ago by JBaker68 on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
For the record, I think the Whopper smells like really intense BO and can’t imagine wanting to smell like one. Am I alone on this? - Bitten And Bound: Burger King Cologne “Flame”
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW? - submitted by billin [-] on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
permalink reply
Beefy! January 9, 2009Reviewer: Kizzy Komet from st petersburg, FL United States
I bet if you apply for a job at your local BK and work a nice long 12 hour day you would not even need to purchase this wonderful spray. You would smell like it naturally. How great would that be...no need to shower after work.
Was this review helpful to you?
- Ricky's Halloween: FLAME™ Body SpraySweet Jesus That's Nasty!!! December 29, 2008Reviewer: Fat Freddy Marsh from Houston, TX United States
This stuff smells like a wicked lactose intolerant fart. I mean, it's truly nauseating. I sprayed a little bit on my hand and I've nearly thrown up 7 times already. It smells like a combination of Spencer's Gifts, Hott Topix, and adolescent fear wrapped in a skunk's colon.
Washing does no good. I've tried everything. I've contemplated cutting my hands off, it's that bad. Please, someone tell me where the antidote is!
Was this review helpful to you?
- Ricky's Halloween: FLAME™ Body SprayToo fat. - submitted by razzbar [-] on Reddit firemeetsdesire.com
permalink reply
Sunday, October 26, 2008
CULTURE/SOCIETY: ZombieHarmony
This is from me, NOT some reprinted piece. Though most is taken directly from the web site! - OlderMusicGeek"ZombieHarmony... because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely."
I don't remember how I found this website, but find it I did! And what a website it is! I mean zombies need love too!
It even comes with this great disclaimer - Disclaimer: ZombieHarmony is for zombies only. We advise signing up for ZombieHarmony only if you lack a pulse, have limited motor skills, or feel an intense desire to feast on human beings. We are not responsible for lost or ingested loved ones. If you go on a date with a zombie, we cannot be held liable for contributing to the apocalypse. Please date responsibly: bring a baseball bat or crowbar.
Created by Mingle2.com (Dating for non-zombies)
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