HUMOR - Ralphie "just" had a fight...

HUMOR: Christmas pics - The religiously offensive edition

MY LIFE: my mom and knives in her home

Girlfriend while we're visiting my mom: "Does your mother have knives?"

My sister: "No, my mom has no knives in her house!"

Me: "There was a big fight, and they're not allowed knives in the home anymore!"

Yes, we are a family of smartasses!

MY LIFE: How a crabby boy found his happy place!

Text from my girlfriend: 'I sarcastically told a very crabby son on the way to camp he needed to have a good attitude and find his happy place... After our water games turned into water wars and he was soaked head to toe, he comes running over to me and yells "I found my happy place!" '

HUMOR: Stop fighting!

MY LIFE: A Weird Dream I Had Last Night

In a dream last night, I'm having a sword fight with a masked man.
He says something in Spanish in Antonio Banderas's voice as we fight.
Me: "Sorry, friend, I don't speak any Spanish."
Him: "You should learn to speak a second language."
Me: "I did! Sesotho!"
Him: "A lot of good it does you here!"
Me: "Well, it did me a lot of good in Africa!"
Just then I push him away. He jumps to the window, and before jumping out, says: "Well, señor, you're not in Africa any more!"

Thank you, "Puss In Boots" for giving me weird dreams!

MY LIFE (and ENTERTAINMENT): My Daughter And “Her Nerds”

Since time immemorial, as far back as anyone can remember, from the dawn of the cave dwellers, a particular group has been picked on and mistreated by the mighty and the popular.

This group has been known by many names - “geeks”, “dorks”, “spazzes”, “losers”... and most notably “nerds”.

But in ONE school, this arrangement is changing! In one school, ONE girl is standing up and saying “No more!”

This is THE story of that girl!


Okay, my daughter isn't heroic as all that... although his friends might disagree. But has seemed to change the way that at least her friends at school are treated.

And what got me started thinking so much about my daughter and “her nerds” was the song below...



I, myself, could relate to this song quite well. I'd been on both sides of the equation, picked on and ignored, as well as ignoring others who were picked on. I'm not proud of that, but I'd be a liar if I told you otherwise.

But my daughter... now there's a completely different story. Although she picked up my compassion, she fortunately also picked up her mother's feistiness and confidence.

And one time when I was listening to this song, I imagined what it would be like if my daughter was the main character of this tale.


Things would be different from the start, I can tell you that!

That first day after the bicycle race, which my daughter would do her damnedest to win, she would go up to that James and say, “Hi, I'm J---. You're going to be my new best friend. What's your name?” It seems like she does this to almost every new nerd that joins her school. Like she's the school's nerd-welcoming committee.

And if the guy wondered what was going on and who the heck she was, she'd just say, “I told you! I'm J---, and you're going to be my new best friend.”

And if the guy should protest and say he doesn't need a new friend or something, she would inform him that's “Too bad!”


Come lunch the first day, James would find himself suddenly surrounded by my daughter and her friends, who she refers to as “my nerds”. My daughter would play master of ceremonies introducing the new nerd to the rest of the group.

Do they know that she calls them “my nerds”? Apparently so. Have they complained about being called that? My daughter told me they did. Her response? “Too bad!”


If James and my daughter went for a walk like they did in the song, she would probably talk with him about being from a divorced home.

But if he tried to tell her that her music was junk, she would most definitely put him in his place.

And soon as he brought up The Sex Pistols... oh boy!

She'd rip into him about how he listens to that old awful crap her dad does! And probably ask him with a sneer if he listens to Violent Femmes and Devo too. And then she'd tell him about how there is new music out there! And that teenagers should be listening to their own music, not their parents'!

Have to admit my daughter has a point on teenagers who listen to their parents' music and nothing from their generation. That's just wrong and kind of sad!


Now, if three guys started picking on James, this would definitely turn out differently!

As my daughter explained: “One guy would find himself himself pushed to the ground. Another would find his face slammed into a locker. And the third would find himself with his arm twisted very far behind him.” Then after a pause, and with a bit pride, “All things I have done to people who have picked on my nerds!”

I should say here that my daughter is not a big girl. She gets some of her stature from her petite, five foot tall mother. But then her mother doesn't take crap from anyone either!

My daughter is apparently known as “the psycho girl who hangs out with the nerds”. And most bullies, it seems, have learned not to mess with her friends.


I will freely admit that I am quite proud of my daughter, The Great Protector Of Nerds. She has the confidence and looks to be part of the popular crowd, but is unwilling to make the compromises. “They're boring! All they talk about are boys, clothes and their hair! Ugh!” Instead she hangs out with the group that willingly accepts all her quirks and eccentricities. And they get a good return investment for letting her in there! Not that she'd give them a choice!

ON ANOTHER BLOG: "MUSIC: Country Music Ain't What It Used To Be" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Entertainment Stuff (just click here)

HUMOR and SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION: Two Jesus Jokes, One Bunny Joke and a Video about "That Darn Jesus"

I meant to post this yesterday, but my daughter got a video game - so I didn't stand a chance!

This is from me, not reprinted from somewhere else. Though I didn't make up the jokes. :) WARNING: Jesus is used for humor here and some sexuality is suggested. - OlderMusicGeek.

Jesus is up on the cross.
He looks in the distance. Then looks at Peter.
"Peter, you got to come up here."
So Peter rushes for the cross.
A Roman punches him in the nose and knocks him down.
"Peter, you really got to get up here!"
Peter rushes again. He ducks under the fist of the guard.
But another guards comes and smacks him back with a spear.
"No, Peter, I mean it. You have get over here."
Peter rushes once more. Ducks under the fist and jumps over the spear. A third guard comes, but he slides between the legs.
He scrambles to Jesus hanging on the cross.
Anxiously, he looks up at Jesus and asks, "Yes, Lord, what is it?"
"Peter, look," Jesus says pointing with his head. "You can see your house from here!"

This next joke is visual, so I filmed it...
Q: Why did they crucify Jesus instead of stoning him?
A: Because it's easier to do this... than this.

I actually got this one from my mother - though I don't think she'd approve of the above jokes or the video below. :)
Q: Why does The Easter Bunny hide the eggs?
A: Because he doesn't want anybody to know he's doing the chicken!

And finally the video about that darn Jesus. I don't believe the beginning part is true. I looked it up on the internet and couldn't find anything. Plus, the station has FIVE call letters. Makes it doubt the authenticity of the beginning statement.


A link to all my Easter posts

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Videos to Help Your Romance

Here's some videos from Videojug.com help you out on Valetine's Day! - OlderMusicGeek


VideoJug - Life Explained. On Film.

CULTURE/SOCIETY: 1967 Vs 2007

I have received this piece of crap in the mail at least 3 times now, if not 4. So the next person who sends it to me is getting this as their response. My responses are in italics. - OlderMusicGeek

1967 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his own car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock-down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

This is, of course, so silly. What kind of idiot thinks a kid would use a gun on other kids in school. Everybody knows that could never really happen.

And even if it did, nobody would blame the principal for letting a kid have a gun at the school!

And people are traumatized, who cares. Let them fail classes or be too frazzled to teach properly!

These are the same kind of idiots who want us to spend money reinforcing buildings because they actually think someone would fly an airplane into them!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Yeah, let kids fight. We know that's the best way to solve our problems. Especially since kids carry knives and guns now.

And Mark was probably perfectly innocent anyway. Like when kids fight in a family. We know ONLY ONE is COMPLETELY at fault!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with A.D.D. and given huge doses of Ritalin. Be comes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has a learning disability.

Once again, we all know violence is the only way to solve a problem!

And we know all kids on Ritalin are zombies and never do better in class.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's Mom has affair with psychologist.

Like I said, violence is of course the answer. It's better for a kid to grow up with a parent who beats the crap out of him than with foster parents. Everybody knows that!

And all that abuse is just made up anyway! It never really happens. And when one kids, we know that the others are almost never abused. The abuser just concentrates on one.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scenario: Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.

1967 - Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.

2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

These idiots who thinks kids would use a gun on other students also think that kids would bring drugs in aspirin bottles and share them with other kids. Where do they get this crazy stuff?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.

1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Well, of course, all the foreigners who have come American never learned English here. That's why we all speak Lakota and Apache and Hopi.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant hill.

1967 - Ants die.

2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.

I love having kids blow things up. Nothing like losing a few fingers to learn a lesson!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort him.

1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

Once again, these same fools who think kids would shoot at other kids and give other kids drugs – think that a teacher could do something sexual towards a student. When have we ever heard of anything like that happening?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THIS COUNTRY IS SUCH A MESS ... DUHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly duh! Don't people know that running from guns, getting beaten up by bullies and parents, getting addicted to drugs, and sexually abused builds character! Sheesh!