MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 31:"Surrender" by Dropkick Murphys, a song on how I feel about my daughter and my parents

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

As my daughter gets older and becomes a young lady, I can't help but think about how I raised her and how she'll be out in the real world.

This song seems to capture my feelings on that best.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 30: "The One For Me" by Lipstick Homicide and other songs about my wife

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I love my wife. I'm happy I found her. And these are other songs about how I feel about her!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs about how I feel about my wife including "The One For Me" by Lipstick Homicide:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 29: "Marry Me Ann" by The Dickies and other songs about why I married who I did

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

After I started getting better and improving, I felt ready to date again.

Through Match.com, I met Ann. She was into music. She was cool and relaxed. Also liked movies. And she was an awesome mom.

So after a year and half, we decide to get married. I found this song about a week or so before we were to married. I took it as a good sign!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist about why I married my wife including The Dickies' "Marry Me Ann":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 28: "Could You Be Loved" by Bob Marley and "Isn't It Glorious" by Lipstick Homicide with songs about being done with depression

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

One of the first things that one needs to do to get out of depression, and probably for other mental illnesses too, is to love yourself again.

Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes. We all do things that we wish we hadn't.

But long as you're trying to make the world a better place than you found, you're not trying to be a jerk or an asshole, you try to treat everybody with some kindness and dignity, well, then, you're an okay person and worthy of love.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of end-of-depression songs including Bob Marley's "Could You Be Loved" and Lipstick Homicide's "Isn't It Glorious":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 27: "Sleepwalkin'" by The Violent Femmes and other coming-out-of-depression songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, eventually I pulled myself out of my depression and came to terms to my other psychological.

There was no magic spell or sudden event that changed me. I wasn't in a sappy movie. Can't even say the love of a good woman cured me, since this was before I met my wonderful wife.

No, what did it was years of therapy, the right medication, and me working through my problems. Little by little, with years of long and hard work.

It wasn't fun, but it was worth it. Made me a better person. Rather have not gone through it, but didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of out-of-depression songs including "Sleepwalkin'" by Violent Femmes:



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 26: "Something You Ain't Got" by Cracker and other coming out of depression tunes

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, depression, like so many things, can only go on for so long, before you hit rock bottom and realize you need to do something about it.

For me, it was when I was almost evicted out of my apartment because it had become such a mess and disaster zone.

That's when I got on anti-depression and made sure to stay in therapy.

It was a slow recovery, but it was a recovery.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of depression recovery songs including Cracker's "Something You Ain't Got":

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 25: "Violet" by Hole and other angry depression songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Didn't realize I put so many songs about my depression on here. But I guess it and the divorce were the biggest and most traumatic part of my life.

Well, don't worry. We get into the recovery after this!

But one part they don't talk much about in depression is the anger. You do feel sad and lethargic. But there's also anger. Anger from the frustration of being stuck.

So these songs cover that aspect of depression.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of angry depression songs including Hole's "Violet":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 24: "From The Air" by Laurie Anderson and "Hitting The Ground" by Gordon Gano and other songs about how I felt when I was depresse

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

When I was suffering from depression, I just felt weighed down, like it was impossible and too much effort to do anything,

Life didn't seem to have much point, and spent most of my time lying on the couch sleeping or watching tv.

The apartment went to hell and we almost got evicted.

These songs capture how I was feeling at that time.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist about I felt when I was depressed including Laurie Anderson's "From The Air" and Gordon Gano's "Hitting The Ground":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 23: "Moody's Point" by Lipstick Homicide and other songs about depression

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Depression runs in my family. And it hit me hard. These songs pretty much describe how I felt when I was deep in depression.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlists of songs that describe how I felt during my depression including "Moody's Point" by Lipstick Homicide:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 22: "The Real Me" by The Who and other songs about my mental illness

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

One of the best pieces of advice that I ever got was divorce is not a cure-all. All of your problems are not solved by a divorce.

And although it did save me from my ex-wife, by escaping her, I was able to let out other demons that I had kept down and had not dealt with.

And there were a number of them: depression, crossdressing and transgenderism, addictive behavior.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs about my mental illnesses including "The Real Me" by The Who:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 21: "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters and other F-U divorce songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, Day 19 dealt with the break up. Day 20 with the actual divorce.

But as Jerry Seinfeld once said, you can be all nice and civil as you want, but a relationship isn't truly over until one of you tells the other "I never want to see you again!"

And I think there's some truth to this. You need to face and deal with the anger before you can move on.

So these songs were one way I did that.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of angry divorce songs including "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters:



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 20: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba and other divorce songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

(Well, due to sickness and laziness, I'm a couple a days behind here. So I'll try to have one out in the morning and one in the evening until I catch up!)

After I finally got the brains and courage to leave my ex-wife, I went through a rough period.

She did not take me leaving her well. She did everything that she could to make it our split up as horrible and miserable as possible.

It also didn't help that I only had a couple of family members supporting me. Fortunately, my friends did have my back.

But anybody who has been divorce knows it's hard to start all over again even if it's an amiable break up.

So this song was what I called my "divorce anthem".

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs that got me through my divorce or remind me of that time including Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 19: "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads and too many songs about my failed marriage

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, after my suicide attempt, I obviously went to therapy. Trying to fix myself and my marriage.

But it was actually in couples therapy, that I realized that I didn't like or respect the woman I was married to. And I also realized that she wasn't willing to put much effort into our marriage. I was doing everything.

But because of our daughter, I tried to keep it working for a couple of years. Eventually, I figured out that both my daughter and I would happier if I left her mother.

And I was right!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist about realizing my marriage was over including Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime":



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 15: "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder and other songs that make me think of my daughter

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

What can I say? The greatest day of my life, and I'm sure my wife won't be upset with me saying this, is when my daughter was born. (The day I married my current wife is a close #2!)

She can be annoying and frustrating, but I love her independent spirit and undeterred will to be herself.

And through all the up and downs in my life, she was the light that kept me going and gave me purpose.

So these songs are in honor of her.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlists of songs that make me think of my daughter including "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 14: "Ever Fallen In Love" by The Buzzcocks and other songs that describe my first marriage

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

There's no two ways around it. The first marriage was a big, huge mistake. The only good thing to come out of it was my daughter.

It was the outcome of my psychological issue and my romanticism. I was desperate to have someone and prove that I was worthy of having someone.

So I got engaged to someone the first night I met her.

Then I broke up with her five years later!

Then I met my second wife a couple of months after that. Married her four months later.

Yeah, I had issues.

And if I had gotten to know here better, I would have realized what a mistake it was.

Instead I fooled myself, and as I slowly learned my mistake, I blamed myself and tried harder to make something that never should have happen work.

Eventually, ten years later, I learned my mistake. But more on that later

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs about how I felt in my first marriage including The Buzzcocks' "Ever Fallen In Love":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 13: "African Convention" by Miriam Makeba and other African political songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I'm sorry about you can't live in Africa, especially next door to apartheid-era South Africa, and not feel policitical or get a sense of the politics going on in Africa.

As I told a fellow Peace Corps volunteer, "When I arrived in southern Africa, Nelson Mandela was a prisoner. Now as I leave, he's president!" His response: "Then I guess our work is done!"

These songs reflect those tumultuous political times in 1980s Africa and southern Africa.

To be honest, I'm not sorry at all about being political!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of political songs about South Africa including "African Convention":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 12: "Serengeti Long Walk" by Stewart Copeland and songs that remind what I thought about traveling Africa

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I was never actually at The Serengeti Plains, but this song captures some of the thoughts and feelings I had as I hitchhiked through The Kalahari Desert, rode horseback through a national park in Zimbabwe, rode through Namibia, among other places.

See these natural spectacles certainly puts you in a philosophical frame of mind. And these songs reflect that.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs including "Serengeti Long Walk" that show what was going through my mind as I traveled Africa :

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 11: "Boy In The Bubble" by Paul Simon and other tunes that remind me of my time in Africa

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, when I first started this 50 days of music for my 50th birthday, I claimed that these would all be songs that have special meaning to me.

Unfortunately, for this African segment, I'm kinda breaking that rule. I love a lot of African music, but most of it doesn't exactly speak to this white, middle class, midwestern American. Plus, most of it is in languages I don't understand whatsoever. So though I love many African tunes, I can't say they have a "special meaning" to me.

But I did spend 6 1/2 years living in Africa. And it did have a profound effect on me, the way I look at myself as well as the way I look at the world. You have to be pretty self-absorbed not to be affected by living in a completely different culture for so long!

So if these don't exactly speak of my life, they do reflect some of the thoughts, experience, and feelings that my African experience brought me.

I picked Paul Simon's 'Boy In The Bubble" as the first tune for a number of reasons. One, it reflects some of the chaotic feeling that I had living in a strange culture, and one that was next door to apartheid-era South Africa. Two, backing up Paul Simon is a band from the village where I first taught, Tau Ea Matsekha! Three, this album came out just before I left for southern Africa, and was a huge hit and played many times at our Peace Corps parties!

So enjoy a taste of Africa!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of tunes that remind me of Africa including "Boy In The Bubble":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 10: "Kiss Off" and "Add It Up" by The Violent Femmes and other angry. lonely tunes

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Okay, this is the last post about being a sad, lonely nerd.

But the truth isn't I wasn't always sad! Sometimes, I got angry!

Thought life was totally unfair! Wanted to know why life treated me this way. Later, I realized a lot of it had to do more with how I was living life than how life was treating me.

But if any album caught how I was feeling at that time, it was The Violent Femmes' self-titled debut album.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing

A playlist of angry nerd songs including "Kiss Off" and "Add It Up":



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day Day 09: "So Lonely" by The Police and other songs of a first love!

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

This post is about one of my first loves! The Police!

No, not the peacekeeping institution in our towns, but the band!

I had a lot of bands I enjoyed and probably loved, Devo, The Sex Pistols, Talking Heads. But they were all bands introduced to me by someone else, probably my older brother for the most part.

The Police was a band I discovered on my own!

And back in 1979 before they sold out and tried to be commercial. I hadn't heard anything like them before. The weird mix of punk, reggae, jazz, and world music.

And the lyrics! How could I not relate to songs with titles like "So Lonely", "Next To You", "Hole In My Life", and "Truth Hits Everybody"?!

I felt like Sting got exactly where I was coming from! Later, I would learn that Stewart Copeland would probably relate to me more! But at this time, I felt a strong musical connection!

Their later albums didn't do as much for me. But their first album, and even the second, will always hold a special place in my heart!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of Police songs I related to including "So Lonely":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76