HUMOR - How The Media Will Report The Apocalypse

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/how-the-media-will-report-the-apocalypse

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

Tom PhillipsBuzzFeed Staff

In early 2014, a series of devastating catastrophes bring about Armageddon. Papers of record like the New York Times soberly report this news.

The Guardian tries to provide comprehensive live coverage of the end of days.

Of course, there’s still plenty of celebrity news to keep people occupied.

Others look for a positive message amidst the gloom.

…and naturally, NPR goes on a pledge drive.

For more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/how-the-media-will-report-the-apocalypse

HUMOR: LINDSAY LOHAN TO GIVE BIRTH TO NEANDERTHAL

American geneticist George Templar said that he was ready to clone a Neanderthal, but he needed a woman for the project, who could bear and deliver the unusual baby.

Lindsay Lohan read about the idea and said she would do it. Templar was ecstatic that she wanted to take a change. Then, Lohan’s agent demanded seven figures for using her body – and the scientists agreed to pay her.

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/54269/lindsay-lohan-to-give-birth-to-neanderthal/

MY LIFE: My daughter knows what I like!

Daughter from downstairs: "Guess who is a judge on 'So You Think You Can Dance'?"

Me: "Who?"

Daughter: "Zooey Deschanel!"

Me: "Oh cool!"

After a moment...

Daughter to my girlfriend who also downstairs: "If it was Sigourney Weaver, he'd already be down here!"

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Stark-Raving Mad Libs

I got this link from my brother's girlfriend. And I created this. You can create your own! - OlderMusicGeek

“I am on a drug. It’s called dan oldermusicgeek. If you try it once, you will flick. Your nose tip will melt off, and your daughter will converse over your stamped body … I’m tired of pretending like I’m not duperesque—a total freaking hostess from x. I’ve got mouse blood, uranus DNA! … They picked a fight with a holy ghost. They’re trying to take all my roses and leave me with no means to sing my family. It’s not aromatherapy! They owe me an apology while poking my eyelid … I don’t think people are ready for the grill I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of huffy love. I exposed dishes to magic! Here’s your snot test. Next one goes in your acne pit!”

Link to the Vanity Fair site to make your own!

HUMOR: Feeling Lucky?

I got this from Tudor Rose's blog, Tales of a Librarian. Found it funny enough to pass on! - OlderMusicGeek

1. Go to google.com

2. Type in "Find Chuck Norris" into the search bar.

3. Click the "I'm feeling lucky" button.

4. Laugh

5. Rinse.

6. Repeat if necessary.

CULTURE/SOCIETY and ENTERTAINMENT: My Celebrity Look-Alikes

Well, in case anyone was wondering what I look like, here are my celebrity lookalikes. Apparently, when I wear my glasses, I look like a big dork. And when I don't wear my glasses, I look like a girl!

MY CELEBRITY LOOKALIKES WHEN I'M WEARING GLASSES:


MY CELEBRITY LOOKALIKES WHEN I'M NOT WEARING GLASSES:

Link to making your own collage at MyHeritage.com