HUMOR - How The Media Will Report The Apocalypse

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/how-the-media-will-report-the-apocalypse

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

Tom PhillipsBuzzFeed Staff

In early 2014, a series of devastating catastrophes bring about Armageddon. Papers of record like the New York Times soberly report this news.

The Guardian tries to provide comprehensive live coverage of the end of days.

Of course, there’s still plenty of celebrity news to keep people occupied.

Others look for a positive message amidst the gloom.

…and naturally, NPR goes on a pledge drive.

For more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/how-the-media-will-report-the-apocalypse

ENTERTAINMENT - Memorial Day pics and stuff

ENTERTAINMENT and SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY: How succeeding in comedy has changed

This is also true about music and any other artistic field!


Http://thecomicscomic.com/2012/07/27/patton-oswalts-letters-to-both-sides-his-keynote-address-at-montreals-just-for-laughs-2012/

SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION: How some use The Bible!

SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY: Algorithms: The Ever-Growing, All-Knowing Way Of The Future

http://m.npr.org/story/152444019?url=/blogs/alltechconsidered/2012/05/10/152444019/algorithms&sc=tw

SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY: How Twitter's Trending Algorithm Picks Its Topics

http://m.npr.org/story/143013503

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Tweets From Santa Claus Last Year

These are just some of the tweets from Santa Claus's various Twitter pages. - OlderMusicGeek

Mrs.Claus is upset that so many women thanked me for an "amazing night." - from DearestSanta

Today is strictly a day for kicking back with the elves, the Mrs., and some very tired reindeer. Merry Christmas to all! - from @santa

I've been invited to a year end party. Because nothing rings in the new year like felt-wearing elves doing the electric slide. - from @DearestSanta

See Santa Claus take his much needed rest after this long Christmas Eve Night: http://bit.ly/6gk1re - from @iSpotSanta

FYI we are now considering plans to relocate to the South Pole due to climate change. - from @TheSanta

A list of the various pages Santa tweets from

A link to previous posts about Christmas and the holidays

ON OLDERMUSICGEEK'S STUPID ENTERTAINMENT STUFF: "MUSIC: Just Some Really Awful Gary Numan Jokes" (just click here)

SCIENCE/TECHNOGOLY: @SantaClaus Is Not Using Twitter Lists

This article is from November 3, so some of it may be outdated. It comes from NPR's All Tech Considered. - OlderMusicGeek

@SantaClaus Is Not Using Twitter Lists
By Omar L. Gallaga

A new feature that has been quickly embraced by users of Twitter is "Lists," which allows you to organize Twitter users into groups and share that list with others.

But apparently the news hasn't gotten all the way to the North Pole; Twitter user @SantaClaus has yet to create a "Naughty" or "Nice" list, which makes you wonder whether Saint Nick's holiday operation is really embracing technology at the speed of Elf or if Santa Claus is merely dabbling with Twitter because it's considered the thing to do.

Even apart from the obvious benefit it would provide to Father Christmas in organizing information and having, at a glance, a list of behaviorally-organized names and profile photos, I think Twitter users would benefit greatly from knowing where they stand, in regards to naughtiness/niceness. The microblogging social network, where the jolly, rotund gift-giver apparently spends a significant chunk of time, would be a very efficient place to convey that information.

I would hope that Santa would take this not a mean-spirited criticism, but as a gentle, but firm nudge in the black patent belt to embrace change before change leaves him behind. I would hate to be the first person on Papa Noel's "Naughty" Twitter list.

Update, 11 a.m, Nov. 3: The @SantaClaus Twitter account has been updated to include "Nice" and "Naughty" lists, but apparently the move was made under duress. In two posts this morning, the North Pole resident wrote, "Everyone is making a big deal over the fact I do not post a Twitter list for my naughty and nice lists. Do YOU want all to know if YOU are on the Naughty list? It is not anyones (sic) business except for me which list you are on. Does everyone REALLY want that published to all?" Perhaps I'm being oversensitive, but this does not strike me as jolly.

As of this writing, only @MrsSantaClaus is listed on the "Nice" list and no one has yet been added to the "Naughty" list.

A link to the original article

A link to my other Christmas posts

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: If Internet Social Networks Were Real Life

CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Geek Hierarchy

I believe it was MizHelena on Twitter who sent me the link to this. - OlderMusicGeek



A link to the full-sized image

ENTERTAINMENT: A Really Bizarre Christmas Cartoon

I got this from quietrevolution on Twitter. - OlderMusicGeek



A link to all my Christmas posts

Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you're celebrating!
MY CHRISTMAS INTERNET RADIO STATIONS
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Edition
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Rock and Punk Edition
OlderMusicGeek's Christmas QuickMix

powered by PANDORA
But if you don't have Pandora, you can hear some of songs at http://www.playlist.com/oldermusicgeek

CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Best "Tweet" About Christmas So Far

iStacie http://twitpic.com/ufwy - I must have skipped that part in the bible where the wise men come rollin in on 22's 9:29 PM Dec 19th from TwitPic

A link to all my Christmas posts

Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you're celebrating!
MY CHRISTMAS INTERNET RADIO STATIONS
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Edition
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Rock and Punk Edition
OlderMusicGeek's Christmas QuickMixpowered by PANDORA
But if you don't have Pandora, you can hear some of songs at http://www.playlist.com/oldermusicgeek

CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Bandwidth Of The Human Penis Calculated

Something else I found through Twitter! Maybe I should think twice about the people I follow on Twitter! - OlderMusicGeek

#262095

hypnosis: 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
hypnosis: 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
hypnosis: 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
hypnosis: On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
hypnosis: Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
(37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
Jck_true: Sweet
Jck_true: DoS attack!!!

I don't know whether to be amazed, amused and shocked - that someone bothered to figure the bandwidth of a penis! - OMGeek

HUMOR and SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY: 5 Ways To Keep Your Drunken Self Away From The Internet

This was sent as a joke on the mass emailing that the gang who I was in Peace Corps with sends out. Though it's actually by a guy I twitter with! - OlderMusicGeek

5 Ways to Keep Your Drunken Self Away From the Internet
November 14, 2008 - 1:47 pm PDT - by Joel Falconer 14 Comments

Going near the Internet when you’re drunk is a bad, bad idea. Many people have discovered this the hard way. It’s particularly bad if you work online.

Google acknowledged this potential threat of the modern age when they provided a Gmail feature to keep you out of your inbox after you’ve hit the bottle. Once enabled, the feature will ask you to solve some mathematical problems before allowing you to send anything to anyone.

Most people, unfortunately, can still remember where the Calculator application is on their computer, even with a good half bottle of whiskey stuffed in their innards, so this hasn’t proven too effective for most. And still, there’s plenty of damage to be done in places where Gmail’s watchful eyes can’t protect you: Twitter, Facebook, your own blog. Even MySpace, though the chances of anyone noticing drunken behavior as anything but the norm over there aren’t high.

Here are a few methods for keeping your drunken alter-ego away from the computer. Hopefully, you’ll have a tougher time getting around these than you did getting around Gmail’s math quiz.

1. Hide the Power Cable

We all know Mac users like to gloat about how they never have to shut their computers down. But they’re also the most likely to get drunk and go surfing the net in such a sad state. I’m a Mac user myself, I should know.

Shut the computer down, take your power cable, and hide it somewhere. Preferably, your hiding place will require the assistance of a chair to reach, like the top of a cupboard or up in the roof through the manhole. That way, once you’ve had your fill, you won’t be able to get up there. Sure, you’ll try. But you’ll fall off the chair a few times, get a concussion and break some expensive items on your way down.

You certainly won’t be getting anywhere near that cable.

2. Install Linux

Here’s a surefire way to make sure you never make it to the desktop. Install Linux on your computer, and make sure it’s one of those versions that spews out heaps of unreadable machine-speak as it boots up. You know the sort, white text on a black background, a modern day reminder of your DOS years.

I’ll guarantee it, if you’ve had enough to drink, you won’t make it to the login screen. All that fast scrolling text will have you dizzy and nauseous. With any luck, you’ll perform a power chuck all over the screen, making it impossible to write an email or tweet something terrible.

And come on. Don’t tell me you can just clean up the chuck when you’re that drunk.

3. Follow Security Best Practices

You know those security best practices instructions from the IT department that you ignored? Follow them. Don’t let your machine save passwords. Come up with meticulously crafted passwords with impossible-to-memorize strings of numbers and letters. Then, don’t store your passwords anywhere.

Sure, you won’t remember those excruciatingly long strings even when you’re sober, not without writing them down. But isn’t it all worth it? Now you can’t get yourself fired or destroy your relationship by posting the wrong photo to Facebook.

4. Play Waterfall Tracks

Go to the nearest new age shop and grab a CD of waterfall and wildlife sounds. Rip the CD and put the tracks on loop. You know how waterfall sounds work—every time you go anywhere near the computer, you’ll have to rush to the bathroom. You won’t be able to hang around long enough to stop the track or turn off the speakers—ah, the simple power of beer.

5. Go to the Pub

Seriously, does nobody go out to drink anymore? Also, have you ever noticed that the last item in a list is always the most obvious idea? It’s expensive to drink out, I know, but it certainly doesn’t cost as much as losing your job. The other benefit is that your spouse won’t be on your back all night about picking up the beer caps you keep throwing across the room.

There’s still a danger: the smartphone. The smartphone that allows you to take an embarrassing photo and send it to all your friends by email, or publicly tweet it. Leave the smartphone at home.

Image courtesy of iStockPhoto, iwan_drago
Tags alcohol, drunk, facebook, gmail, Lists, myspace, smartphone, twitter

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A link to the original post
Posts by Joel Falconer

CULTURE/SOCIETY and HUMOR: Interesting Way Of Paying Your Bills

I found this via Twitter. It's from Geekologie. I admit that I edited out some of the profanity. To read the original, click here. - OlderMusicGeek

Good Idea!: Man Submits Drawing Of Spider Instead Of Payment For Overdue Account

MORE: art, awesome, clever, communication, email, funny, good idea, good job, good work, internet, money, picture, spiderman, trickery, tricky, wow

David Thorne didn't have the $233.95 to pay an overdue account. So what did he do? What any other budding young genius would do, he submitted a picture of a spider he drew instead. Unfortunately, Jane Gilles, wouldn't accept it. So what happened next? I'll give you a hint: time travel! And also, David's account not getting paid.
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead [beyond]

Thanks to Kenny, who knows a good drawing of a ninja turtle can settle any debt.

Comments (192) Digg Reddit Del.ici.ous

9. Alex - November 13, 2008 6:17 PM
Pfff, that's not worth 233,95, it only have seven leg... it's abstract, it's worth at least 1000$!

26. kraney - November 13, 2008 6:49 PM
When she sent back the drawing, she said she *copied* and pasted it. That's a violation of copyright. David should demand a settlement in the amount of $233.95

40. AlejandroLestad - November 13, 2008 7:50 PM
FAKE, shadows are wrong, it is obviously photoshopped.
As it Resembles the movie, never back down where the main character fought against a giant spider and cut it's 8th leg

87. David Thorne - November 14, 2008 10:33 AM
Sigh. linkjacking at it's finest. and not even a link to my original page. I guess we would not want the web any other way... guess I should have a copyright notice on my... oh wait I do...

http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

By the way, it is 2am here in Australia and I have just finished replying to over a hundred emails about this stupid spider.

Regards, David

89.PLEEEZE! - November 14, 2008 10:47 AM
Here you go: Now famous spider needs to be copyrighted and patented. The seven legged one should fetch a higher price as original blemishes usually do. Sell said spiders on ebay. Pay your debt to the nice person you owe money to. Easy peasy and should only cost you a few hours (oh, and several hundred for the copyright and patented). If you sell high enough you will cover your costs, pay your debt, and possibly make some beer money.

A link to the original post

CULTURE/SOCIETY and HUMOR: A Developing Story

Someone on Twitter - I don't remember who - led me to this story on the Minnesota site, MNspeak. Being a lover of puns, I had to reprint it! - OlderMusicGeek

Posted November 12, 2008
We have a bra thief: Theft. About 40-60 bras were taken from Victoria's Secret, 3001 White Bear Av. The bras were in a drawer near the entrance.
» Categories: crime | Author: msparber

Here what the link says - it's from Miscreant Roundup on buzz.mn. - OMGeek

Meanwhile, in Maplewood:

“Theft. About 40-60 bras were taken from Victoria's Secret, 3001 White Bear Av. The bras were in a drawer near the entrance.”

I think we have a perv at work, or the return of Sh’blynnagoroth, the horrible 100-breasted she-beast who has slumbered since time began, waiting for the return of the old one. Just because she is the embodiment of implacable evil whose very name causes men to go mad doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate something that provides support and comfort.

But here are some of the punny comments from MNspeak - OMGeek

What kind of a boob would do a thing like this?
»» Submitted by »»» justpbob at 2:55 PM on November 12

Talk about a hold up.
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 3:13 PM on November 12

Maybe the guy just snapped.
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 3:17 PM on November 12

This story is not uplifting.
»» Submitted by »»» yepnope at 3:19 PM on November 12

Mystery solved.
»» Submitted by »»» g rote at 3:20 PM on November 12

Real mystery solved (no kidding!)
»» Submitted by »»» justpbob at 3:58 PM on November 12

Best led of all time:
Panty raids aren't just for horny college kids anymore.
-----------
I hope these evil doers get busted.
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 4:18 PM on November 12

Thanks, Bob, for keeping us abreast of this current event.
(What? Geez, sorry! Someone had to say it!)
»» Submitted by »»» jane at 4:20 PM on November 12

A law-abiding society should B outraged to C see D-ranged acts of thievery. Double D-ranged.
»» Submitted by »»» andyst at 4:38 PM on November 12

I'm sick of these criminals with their pillaging and hoot(er)ing.
But I'll bet it was a pair of friends, bosom buddies, who did it.
I hope they catch them and knock-er them around.
»» Submitted by »»» Bixby at 4:41 PM on November 12

I'm trying to rid my mammary of this post - I'll be gland when I succeed
»» Submitted by »»» indyr at 5:00 PM on November 12

This story left me in jock. I can't be a supporter of these dicks!
Oh crap! Wrong thread...
»» Submitted by »»» cjcat 5:27 PM on November 12

How much longer are we going to support this nonsense?
»» Submitted by »»» TBartel at 6:37 PM on November 12

Also, most guys could undo the damage they did with one hand.
»» Submitted by »»» Bixby at 6:57 PM on November 12

While you are all tittering at this, some VS manager is melon-choly about having to jug-gle the VS inventory to cover up the cleavage in her display caused by this theft. She'll have to find something to squeeze in there.
»» Submitted by »»» jane at 9:05 PM on November 12

Must have just slipped out. Probably...
Oh, excuse me, I have to go, my turkey is done...
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 9:34 PM on November 12

I have to admit - I'm still trying to image Sh’blynnagoroth putting on and wearing 50 bras at same time! - OMGeek

CULTURE/SOCIETY: My "Tweets" From Twitter

we have a heat advisory and heat index in the 100's - but i had to wear 2, yes 2, sweaters to stay warm at work. why is the a/c so high? 04:37 PM August 04, 2008 from web

they set the a/c at a temperature - where if it was that temperature outside, they'd turn the heat on! 04:37 PM August 04, 2008 from web

i once forgot to bring a sweater to a job in the summer, and i caught a cold. i was sniffling in 80 degree weather! 04:37 PM August 04, 2008 from web

@spookychan - denial is a good thing some times :) 03:57 AM August 04, 2008 from web in reply to spookychan

spookychan: @OlderMusicGeek I try not to think of losing most of my music, or otherwise i would cry. Simple denial goes a long way.

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet · Show Conversation

@spookychan - i would cry if i lost that much of my mp3's! i really keep thinking of backing them up - but i still haven't! 03:02 PM August 03, 2008 from web in reply to spookychan

spookychan: i'm still sad that half my mp3 collection is gone the way of the almost-dead external hard drive. :_:

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

@killregrets -seems musical guilty pleasure night. you think britney spears is bad? i have 4, yes 4, john denver songs on my mp3 player! 03:01 PM August 03, 2008 from web in reply to killregrets

killregrets: At the trocadero?? Sunset and sweetzer. They're playing britney spears. Haha. Guilty pleasure.

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

@ghoulash -nothing wrong with having muppets on your playlist. have a sesame street box set on mine! and a couple of muppets greatest hits! 02:48 PM August 03, 2008 from web in reply to Ghoulash

Ghoulash: OK, it was bound to come out sooner or later, so ... It's true, my playlist includes Don Henley singing "Bein' Green" with the Muppets.

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

my cat is afraid of ironing boards! came in the room, stood still in terror and slowly backed out. 05:10 AM August 02, 2008 from web

understanding guy i am-i chased it with the ironing board making vacuum noises. when i put it away, the cat backed up clear into the window. 05:09 AM August 02, 2008 from web

too funny! daughter left spoon in ice cream. she pulled it out of fridge-her tongue got stuck to the spoon! told her pour hot water on it! 05:04 PM July 31, 2008 from web

@spookychan - i know what you mean about caffeine. i've quit caffeine so many times, i feel like a professional caffeine quitter! 04:56 PM July 31, 2008 from web in reply to spookychan

spookychan: @Patrick_McEvoy i did succumb to my lord and master caffeine. I am but it's humble slave- as it always takes my money. >=3

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet · Show Conversation

finally got the leak in my car fixed and what happens? the gears die! argh! i hate jack archer on arthur avenue just off se 14th st in dm! 03:55 PM July 30, 2008 from web

i'm bigger geek and dork than i thought - a lot of people i follow on twitter have been talking about comic con! 05:00 AM July 30, 2008 from web

Ghoulash: I have a sneaking suspicion that in the last hours of ComicCon, even the most die-hard fans are secretly JUST DYING FOR IT TO BE ALL OVER!!!

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

feliciaday: Gina Trapani from Lifehacker escorted me to the bathroom during Comicon as a volunteer after the Dr. Horrible panel. I'm fangeeking out!

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

feliciaday: Doing Browncoat benefit reading for charity. Last task at Comicon then browsin' time! Looking for new D&D figurine among other things.

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

feliciaday: For ComiCon folks, Kim Evey from Gorgeous Tiny will be in character signing at the Sony booth in the Exhibit Hall from 11-12:30 today!

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

iStacie: reading ComicCon LOST updates. Interesting...

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

feliciaday: http://tinyurl.com/57p23w (expand) Me on Mahalo Daily from today, first Comicon interview, can you tell I just drove 7 hours?

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

misterperturbed: Wondering if there will be any attendees at Comicon wearing Mike Grell Legion of Super-Heroes costumes. Shadow Lass, Yay!

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

Ghoulash: Envious of all the Twitterati tweeting from ComicCon.

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

@killregrets - strangers and co-workers tell you how hot your are? and now your clients are hot too. what a life you must live! :) 04:37 AM July 29, 2008 from web in reply to killregrets

killregrets -I was voted in school to have the "hottest clients." haha.

11:46 PM July 28, 2008 from twitterrific

@angryasianguy - "professional token asian guy"! too funny! 04:20 AM July 29, 2008 from web in reply to angryasianguy

angryasianguy: @4evrmoto I am a professional token Asian guy.. LOL

about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

@quietrevolution -i imagine death by glitter like a sf scene when it glows super bright-you cover your eyes-then when it stops-they're gone. 08:16 PM July 28, 2008 from web in reply to quietrevolution (Yes, I replied to the wrong person! - OMGeek)

juice_brianne: tracie: "She's wearing enough body glitter to kill a horse." I want to know what a death-by-glitter would look like. Just. Too. Sparkly.

05:15 PM July 28, 2008 from web

i never learn. always after taking the car to a shop, i decide to walk to work cus it's only a mile away. and EVERY freaking time, it rains! 04:33 PM July 27, 2008 from web

@juice_Brianne- i meant that I-me-myself didn't see you replied - us showing how much i-me-myself wanted to be on your list! 04:32 PM July 27, 2008 from web in reply to juice_brianne

juice_brianne @OlderMusicGeek I thought I did! Got to start the Register folks off easy, with people they know, I think. 09:49 PM July 23, 2008 from web in reply to OlderMusicGeek