MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 22: "The Real Me" by The Who and other songs about my mental illness

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

One of the best pieces of advice that I ever got was divorce is not a cure-all. All of your problems are not solved by a divorce.

And although it did save me from my ex-wife, by escaping her, I was able to let out other demons that I had kept down and had not dealt with.

And there were a number of them: depression, crossdressing and transgenderism, addictive behavior.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs about my mental illnesses including "The Real Me" by The Who:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 21: "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters and other F-U divorce songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, Day 19 dealt with the break up. Day 20 with the actual divorce.

But as Jerry Seinfeld once said, you can be all nice and civil as you want, but a relationship isn't truly over until one of you tells the other "I never want to see you again!"

And I think there's some truth to this. You need to face and deal with the anger before you can move on.

So these songs were one way I did that.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of angry divorce songs including "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters:



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 20: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba and other divorce songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

(Well, due to sickness and laziness, I'm a couple a days behind here. So I'll try to have one out in the morning and one in the evening until I catch up!)

After I finally got the brains and courage to leave my ex-wife, I went through a rough period.

She did not take me leaving her well. She did everything that she could to make it our split up as horrible and miserable as possible.

It also didn't help that I only had a couple of family members supporting me. Fortunately, my friends did have my back.

But anybody who has been divorce knows it's hard to start all over again even if it's an amiable break up.

So this song was what I called my "divorce anthem".

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs that got me through my divorce or remind me of that time including Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 19: "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads and too many songs about my failed marriage

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, after my suicide attempt, I obviously went to therapy. Trying to fix myself and my marriage.

But it was actually in couples therapy, that I realized that I didn't like or respect the woman I was married to. And I also realized that she wasn't willing to put much effort into our marriage. I was doing everything.

But because of our daughter, I tried to keep it working for a couple of years. Eventually, I figured out that both my daughter and I would happier if I left her mother.

And I was right!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist about realizing my marriage was over including Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime":



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 18: "When It's Cold" and "Into The Blue" by Moby and other songs that describe how I felt suicidal

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I'm not proud of this fact, but I did try to kill myself once. And it wasn't a cry for help. No note. Went where it was hard to find me. The only reason I'm still alive is because I didn't take enough pills or vomited up too much of them.

Why did I try to kill myself? Even a decade later, it's to explain completely.

I mean, I obviously wasn't thinking straight.

But basically, it boiled down to this.

I was took pride in being a good husband and a good dad. And I failed on that when I cheated on my wife.

Secondly, my wife was threatening to go back to Africa with our daughter. I was transgender and Africa is very traditional. I knew I could have trouble getting custody and visitation rights there.

And thirdly, my wife outed my transgenderism to my family and friends.

So, in my crazed, depressed state of mind, I didn't see much reason to live. I failed as a father and husband. I was losing my wife. Thought I might never see my daughter again.

I was an idiot. More than a decade later, I'm happily divorced from that awful woman. I have custody of my daughter. And my daughter and I only get a few texts from her mother every few months. And I, with the help of a great therapist, decided my transgenderism was just something I went through to cope, deal, and come to terms with my feminine side.

Morale of the story: Suicide bad! Don't do it!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing

A playlist about my suicide attempt including Moby's "When It's Cold" and "Into The Blue":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Question From FormSpring.Me - Have you ever been fired? If so, why?

I was still in the 6-month probation period at a new job. and I was going through a bitter divorce. And basically, I messed up so much at the job, they said they couldn't keep me.

Ask me anything

POLITICS and ENTERTAINMENT: Prop 8 - The Musical

I got a link to this hilarious take on Prop 8 from Fury Of Solace on Twitter. By the way, it features Jack Black as Jesus and has Neil Patrick Harris - Barney on How I Met Your Bother and Dr Horrible himself! - OlderMusicGeek

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

CULTURE/SOCIETY and POLITICS: A Questionnaire about Heterosexuality

This is a questionnaire used for teaching about homosexuality. I found it using StumbleUpon.com. It's from the Advocates for Youth website. I liked it. Hope you will too. :) - OlderMusicGeek

Heterosexual Questionnaire

Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you first decide you were heterosexual?
3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a fear of others of the same sex?
5. If you have never slept with a member of your own sex, is it possible that you might be gay if you tried it?
6. If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual?
7. Why do you heterosexual people try to seduce others into your lifestyle?
8. Why do you flaunt your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?
9. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
10. With all the societal support that marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexual people?
11. Why are heterosexual people so promiscuous?
12. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face, such as heartbreak, disease, and divorce?

* Created by Martin Rochlin, Ph.D., January 1977, and adapted for use here.

A link to the questionnaire

A link to the Advocates for Youth website

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Signs You're Getting Older

More cleaning out of my emails.

Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
"I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
You're the one calling the police because those dang kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your soul.