The man who once played the role of a pansexual alien and came to drunken blows with Lou Reed in a restaurant, looks through the fridge with his wife, a Somali supermodel.
NEW YORK—Saying he would be fine “just taking a load off” and eating in, rock icon David Bowie reportedly asked his wife, Somali supermodel and actress Iman, if they should just do lasagna for dinner again Monday.
The 66-year-old singer-songwriter, musician, actor, and producer, who once reinvented himself as a gender-bending extraterrestrial rock star named Ziggy Stardust, as well as an emotionless Aryan superman named The Thin White Duke, then looked through the couple’s refigerator and, noted they still had a jar of Mario Batali pasta sauce and a “pretty full” box of lasagna noodles in the cupboard...
Bowie and Iman, who are currently deciding whether or not they want to make garlic bread with their salad.
Sources confirmed the nine-time platinum recording artist—who claimed at one point in the 70s to have subsisted on a diet of red peppers, cocaine, and milk—then preheated the oven, started boiling a pot of water, and searched around inside the kitchen cabinets, at one point asking Iman if she had seen the “good baking pan.” In addition, Bowie, who allegedly had an affair with Rolling Stones lead vocalist Mick Jagger at the pinnacle of the glam rock era, suggested that the “fridge needed a quick wipe down” while grabbing a carrot, a cucumber, and a box of organic spinach to make a quick salad. Iman, one of the fashion world’s most legendary ethnic supermodels, noted philanthropist, and entrepreneur, reportedly ripped a page off of a notepad hanging on the refrigerator door and wrote “Windex, aluminum foil, milk” below a lengthy list of items...
Sources confirmed the rock legend, recognized for mixing British mod, mime, and Japanese kabuki styles to bring art rock to a mainstream audience, pulled on a windbreaker, slipped on a pair of Asics sneakers, and reportedly spent several minutes considering his grocery list...
Hey, hon, DVR The Amazing Racenow so we don’t miss the opening,” said the man who once hallucinated that witches wanted to steal his semen to produce a child to be slaughtered in a satanic sacrifice. “And just text me if you need me to pick up anything else.”...
For the full article - http://www.theonion.com/articles/david-bowie-asks-iman-if-they-should-just-do-lasag,34097/
