HUMOR - Crooks who bit off more than they could chew!

• A man attempted to mug a 77-year-old Air Force veteran, who beat his attacker off with a Pepsi bottle after being shot in the balls. Apparently he's okay except for a slight limp.
• In 2008, two men with machetes tried to rob a club in Australia. Inside were fifty members of a motorcycle club, who promptly grabbed the bar stools, chased down the thieves and hogtied one of them.
• In 2010, three men in South Africa, armed with a firearm and and knife, attempted to rob some schoolchildren. The schoolchildren responded by stoning one of the assailants to death.
• The outlaw Jesse James came to grief when he and his gang tried to rob a bank in Northfield, Minnesota in 1876. Unfortunately for Jesse, he had forgotten that he was no longer in his usual hunting grounds of eastern Kansas and western Missouri... and the locals not only did not include any sympathizers of his, but had their life savings in the bank he was targeting and no sense of humor about losing those savings. Oops... Save for James himself and his brother Frank, the entire gang was killed or arrested during either the robbery or the ensuing manhunt, effectively ending his crime spree. He himself was killed by a member of his own gang six years later to collect the bounty on his head.
• An April 2011 incident in Britain had 3 burglars in for a shock when they broke into a house only to find out it belonged to a soldier who, completely naked, gave chase to one who tried to make off with his car, complete with breaking open the driver's window with his bare hands!
• Two teenage thieves broke into a van parked in a council estate in Manchester, only to find that inside there were four SAS men on a night-time counter-terrorism training exercise. 
• An example out of Ferdinand von Schirach's Verbrechen (a book of cases he precided over as a lawyer). Some skinheads decide that a wimpy looking man in a neat suit would be a nice diversion. They ended up dead. It was hinted later, that the guy in the suit was a contract killer on his way home. He had no papers on him, no mark that could identify him - he didn't speak a single word. They had to let him go because they had no evidence and the thing they had on him was clearly self-defense - there were several witnesses to clear him.
• One such incident has become fondly-recalled lore in the Society For Creative Anachronism: After a Society event in New York City, a lady who uses the name "Sir Trude Lacklandia" was walking home late at night and assaulted by several muggers. When she refused to hand over her cash, one tried to stab her with a six-inch knife - only to have the blade turned by the chainmail she was wearing under her woolen cloak. She then drew her (very real) sword, said "I'll see your six, and raise you thirty-five!" before chasing the muggers off. A bard in the SCA afterwards wrote a humorous song about it, which has become quite popular.
• A middle-aged, five-foot-seven Asian man was accosted by two armed, six-footer African-American muggers in late 2011. One mugger was admitted to a hospital with cracked vertebrae and the other had his arm broken in several places. The uninjured Asian man waited for police to arrive while eating takeaway yakisoba on the curb next to the muggers' unconscious bodies. The Asian man was later identified as a fourth-dan Aikidoka.
• In 1999, a thief stole the wallet of who he thought was a tourist in Seville Airport and ran. That "tourist" was Maurice Greene, World Champion sprinter who set the world record for the hundred-meter dash. The thief didn't get very far.
• In 1971, legendary boxer Jack Dempsey was taking a cab home with his wife, and was accosted by a mugger. Apparently, the mugger never knew what hit him. Dempsey was 78 at the time.
• This video linked on Badass Adorable is security footage capturing a man attempting to abduct a little girl in an elevator. He really had no clue what was going to happen next.
• In 2010, a group of forty train robbers stormed a train in West Bengal and started taking valuables from the passengers. One of the robbers then decided to rape one of the women on the train. It turned out that one of the train's passengers was Bishnu Shrestha, a corporal in the 8th Gurkha Infantry. And Bishnu objected, sternly, resulting in him killing several of the robbers by himself with just his kukri and sending the rest fleeing for their lives.
• To read more - http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/MuggingTheMonster/RealLife

ENTERTAINMENT: 15 Reasons Mister Rogers Was the Best Neighbor Ever

Back when I was in 7th grade I stood up in front of my English class and delivered a tongue-in-cheek, poorly researched presentation on why I thought Mister Rogers should be the next President. I ate up the first few minutes zipping up my cardigan, and putting on some sneakers, and then I proceeded to mock him roundly. It was a riotous success. Fourteen years later, I'm using this post to repent. The following are 15 things everyone should know about Fred Rogers:

http://mentalfloss.com/article/16416/15-reasons-mister-rogers-was-best-neighbor-ever

CULTURE/SOCIETY and HUMOR: A Developing Story

Someone on Twitter - I don't remember who - led me to this story on the Minnesota site, MNspeak. Being a lover of puns, I had to reprint it! - OlderMusicGeek

Posted November 12, 2008
We have a bra thief: Theft. About 40-60 bras were taken from Victoria's Secret, 3001 White Bear Av. The bras were in a drawer near the entrance.
» Categories: crime | Author: msparber

Here what the link says - it's from Miscreant Roundup on buzz.mn. - OMGeek

Meanwhile, in Maplewood:

“Theft. About 40-60 bras were taken from Victoria's Secret, 3001 White Bear Av. The bras were in a drawer near the entrance.”

I think we have a perv at work, or the return of Sh’blynnagoroth, the horrible 100-breasted she-beast who has slumbered since time began, waiting for the return of the old one. Just because she is the embodiment of implacable evil whose very name causes men to go mad doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate something that provides support and comfort.

But here are some of the punny comments from MNspeak - OMGeek

What kind of a boob would do a thing like this?
»» Submitted by »»» justpbob at 2:55 PM on November 12

Talk about a hold up.
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 3:13 PM on November 12

Maybe the guy just snapped.
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 3:17 PM on November 12

This story is not uplifting.
»» Submitted by »»» yepnope at 3:19 PM on November 12

Mystery solved.
»» Submitted by »»» g rote at 3:20 PM on November 12

Real mystery solved (no kidding!)
»» Submitted by »»» justpbob at 3:58 PM on November 12

Best led of all time:
Panty raids aren't just for horny college kids anymore.
-----------
I hope these evil doers get busted.
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 4:18 PM on November 12

Thanks, Bob, for keeping us abreast of this current event.
(What? Geez, sorry! Someone had to say it!)
»» Submitted by »»» jane at 4:20 PM on November 12

A law-abiding society should B outraged to C see D-ranged acts of thievery. Double D-ranged.
»» Submitted by »»» andyst at 4:38 PM on November 12

I'm sick of these criminals with their pillaging and hoot(er)ing.
But I'll bet it was a pair of friends, bosom buddies, who did it.
I hope they catch them and knock-er them around.
»» Submitted by »»» Bixby at 4:41 PM on November 12

I'm trying to rid my mammary of this post - I'll be gland when I succeed
»» Submitted by »»» indyr at 5:00 PM on November 12

This story left me in jock. I can't be a supporter of these dicks!
Oh crap! Wrong thread...
»» Submitted by »»» cjcat 5:27 PM on November 12

How much longer are we going to support this nonsense?
»» Submitted by »»» TBartel at 6:37 PM on November 12

Also, most guys could undo the damage they did with one hand.
»» Submitted by »»» Bixby at 6:57 PM on November 12

While you are all tittering at this, some VS manager is melon-choly about having to jug-gle the VS inventory to cover up the cleavage in her display caused by this theft. She'll have to find something to squeeze in there.
»» Submitted by »»» jane at 9:05 PM on November 12

Must have just slipped out. Probably...
Oh, excuse me, I have to go, my turkey is done...
»» Submitted by »»» kwatt at 9:34 PM on November 12

I have to admit - I'm still trying to image Sh’blynnagoroth putting on and wearing 50 bras at same time! - OMGeek

Post On Another Blog

"TELEVISION/VIDEOS and COMICS: The Hulk Out List" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Entertainment Stuff

HUMOR: Humor for Lexophiles

I'm sucker for a good pun - or even bad ones! So I pass these along that Ernest T Spoon sent me. :) - OlderMusicGeek

- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
- The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
- We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
- If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
- If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
- You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
- He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- A calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done.