MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 27: "Sleepwalkin'" by The Violent Femmes and other coming-out-of-depression songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, eventually I pulled myself out of my depression and came to terms to my other psychological.

There was no magic spell or sudden event that changed me. I wasn't in a sappy movie. Can't even say the love of a good woman cured me, since this was before I met my wonderful wife.

No, what did it was years of therapy, the right medication, and me working through my problems. Little by little, with years of long and hard work.

It wasn't fun, but it was worth it. Made me a better person. Rather have not gone through it, but didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of out-of-depression songs including "Sleepwalkin'" by Violent Femmes:



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 19: "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads and too many songs about my failed marriage

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, after my suicide attempt, I obviously went to therapy. Trying to fix myself and my marriage.

But it was actually in couples therapy, that I realized that I didn't like or respect the woman I was married to. And I also realized that she wasn't willing to put much effort into our marriage. I was doing everything.

But because of our daughter, I tried to keep it working for a couple of years. Eventually, I figured out that both my daughter and I would happier if I left her mother.

And I was right!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist about realizing my marriage was over including Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime":



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 18: "When It's Cold" and "Into The Blue" by Moby and other songs that describe how I felt suicidal

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I'm not proud of this fact, but I did try to kill myself once. And it wasn't a cry for help. No note. Went where it was hard to find me. The only reason I'm still alive is because I didn't take enough pills or vomited up too much of them.

Why did I try to kill myself? Even a decade later, it's to explain completely.

I mean, I obviously wasn't thinking straight.

But basically, it boiled down to this.

I was took pride in being a good husband and a good dad. And I failed on that when I cheated on my wife.

Secondly, my wife was threatening to go back to Africa with our daughter. I was transgender and Africa is very traditional. I knew I could have trouble getting custody and visitation rights there.

And thirdly, my wife outed my transgenderism to my family and friends.

So, in my crazed, depressed state of mind, I didn't see much reason to live. I failed as a father and husband. I was losing my wife. Thought I might never see my daughter again.

I was an idiot. More than a decade later, I'm happily divorced from that awful woman. I have custody of my daughter. And my daughter and I only get a few texts from her mother every few months. And I, with the help of a great therapist, decided my transgenderism was just something I went through to cope, deal, and come to terms with my feminine side.

Morale of the story: Suicide bad! Don't do it!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing

A playlist about my suicide attempt including Moby's "When It's Cold" and "Into The Blue":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

CULTURE/SOCIETY: My Fun Day Today

Started this as a Facebook post, but it got too long, so I thought it would make a good blog post. Haven't put one up for ages! - OlderMusicGeek

what a day! i went to the doctor's to discuss my hormone therapy. i was told he wasn't seeing anybody today! turns out the appointment was yesterday!

well, i was planning on doing the paperwork for my name change after i went to the doctor's. but i was thinking that the therapist appointment that i thought was tomorrow was probably today.

unfortunately, i had no way to check this out because my phone number had switched over from my old phone to my new phone. and my new phone didn't have a battery!

well, i went to the shop and the guy there didn't see any battery left behind anywhere and no message about a battery, but said the guys who were there would be there tonight.

so i went to my therapist anyway. it turns out i did have an appointment today, not tomorrow. but i was 45 minutes early so i went to eat. then when i was leaving my car had trouble starting.

it starts fine now, knock on wood. so i don't know what was the problem then. anyway, after the therapist, i was going to do the name change, but fortunately i checked my bank account to be sure i had the fees. i didn't - i must have miscalculated how much i spent on christmas presents!

so not to make my day a total loss, i'm heading to work to save some of my personal time off and will once again do the name change after my new appointment to see the doctor about my hormone therapy!