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Friday, July 23, 2010

MY LIFE: Apparently I Fit The Profile

This is from me, and NOT some reprinted material. - OlderMusicGeek

“What's with the hair?” asked a co-worker who I've nicknamed "The Mortal Enemy”. Apparently, a lot of what I do is some horrible affront to her. Honestly, I get hassled less by my ex-wife.

On this occasion, it looked like she had a problem with me tying back the hair that I'd been growing out. I explained that I prefer the hair behind me than in my face.

“Well, I have a pair of scissors at my desk.”

I commented on how I don't see her using them, and she went on about how she gives her hair to charity. For her I guess, that is the only good reason to grow your hair out.

I later grumbled one of my cubicle mates how the person with the longest hair was complaining about my hair.

She rolled her eyes in sympathy.

“Well, she thinks only certain kind of guys wear their hair long.”

I am a male-to-female transsexual, but I've just started transitioning and haven't come out at work. So I was curious if any of my co-workers had seen me in female mode.

“What kind of guys?”

“Well, you know...”

“Not really.” At least, I didn't know what she meant!

“Well, you know, just certain guys.”

“No, I don't know.”

My co-worker thought for a moment.

“Well, like guys who are really into music.”

I smiled. “Yeah, that doesn't describe me at me!”

She looked a little embarrassed and added, “And college professors.”

“Oh, well, I've never been compared to absent-minded professors!”

She rolled her eyes again, though not in sympathy this time, and went back to work.

I went back to work thinking about how my mortal enemy has it out for professorial music fans.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

MY LIFE: What Year Is It?

This is from me, and NOT some reprinted material. - OlderMusicGeek

“What year is it?”

I look at the young man who walked up to me in the convenience store parking lot.

I almost haltingly come out and say 2010. But then I think he couldn't mean that, could he?

I look at the guy. He doesn't look like a crazed maniac who thinks he's in a Terminator movie.

So I think about it some more.

Is he mocking me? Do I look like I'm stuck in the past. Admittedly, I have long hair, but my outfit is hardly that of a hippie.

I look at the young man again. And that is when I realized that he is looking at the car!

“Oh! It's 1999!”

Funny enough, when I told my ex-wife this story, she said, “Imagine if you had told him 2010.”

“2010! No way!”

“Uh, yeah, sorry it is! We got a black president and everything!”

“What's Obama got to do with anything? It's definitely the late '90's!”

“I'm sorry, but you're over ten years late. I know what year it is!”

“I'm sorry, sir, but I don't think you do!”

And then I can imagine him walking away grumbling about the guy who thinks his old car is brand new.

I read and watch too much science fiction!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

MY LIFE: No! I Don't Want To Be A Frightened, Scrawny 14-Year-Old Nerd Boy Again!

This is from me, and NOT some reprinted material. - OlderMusicGeek

So I stood in front of her. Not saying a word. My eyes staring at those fingers sitting on phone's keyboard, waiting for a response from me.

It was a simple enough question. Quite simple actually. And I knew the answer. I rattled it off on quite a regular basis. But now, I just stood perfectly still in front of her like a deer in headlights, waiting for the truck to slam 70 miles per hour into it.

And what exactly brought me to this sorry, embarrassing state? There lies a stupid, silly, foolish tale. Fortunately for you, dear reader, not really a very long one.

I was at a musical festival and saw this wonderful band that did an interesting blend of old time rock and roll with alternative rock. Even did a good cover of “Folsom Prison Blues”! I made a mental note to add them as a Facebook and MySpace friend so I would know when they were playing next.

Then a later band, that was giving shout outs to all the bands that played that day, mentioned that the band I liked was giving away a cd with three of their songs... for free! I groaned in frustration in having missed out! And I had actually seen the lead singer earlier and told her I liked her music, but it was in the middle of another band's set and I just saw her in passing, so that was the extent of the conversation.

Well, later as I'm coming out of the building, who should be heading for the building but that cute little lead singer!

And I won't lie! She was damn cute!

I don't know if this has anything to do with anything, but... I am a male-to-female transsexual who has just started transitioning. So I still look pretty “guy-ish” and was going about as a male. And my sexual preference can best be described as confused, but bisexual works well as anything!

And I will say this cute lead singer had this sweet hippie look going on with this long straight black hair, long dangling “crafty”-type earings, adorable silver frame librarian type glasses, a white spaghetti strap t-shirt, and some ripped jeans to finish the effect.

So anyway, I stop her and tell her that I heard they were giving away free cd's.

She suddenly gets a look of disappointment on her face. “Oh, sorry, we did! But we're out now!”

Urgh! Curses!

Then she follows with, “Well, could I get your information, so I can send you to the website?”

“Uh, sure!”

And that, dear readers, is when it happened.

She got out her phone, looked up at me with her soft eyes and asked me THE question.

“Can I get your phone number?”

What can I say? I just froze up. Completely, totally and utterly.

And my poor brain was running at overdrive. Part of my head was going, “Wha? Huh? Wait? What did she say? That can't be right. No, okay, now wait.”

Another part of my brain is trying to be all reasonable about this. “Okay, calm down. Let's think this though. There might be another explanation. You really weren't that into her before now. And she's probably half your age! And closer to your daughter's age than you!”

A third part of the brain is going, “Hey, idiot, she just wants your number to promote her band!”

That last part of my brain might have saved me and set me straight, except in most of my brain, there was basically a huge alarm clanging super loudly from different locations while a whole bunch of red lights, like the ones on top of police cars, twirled around and around, and a mechanical voice screamed, “Danger! Danger! Does not compute! Does not compute!”

If smoke was billowing out of my ears, I would not have been surprised!

What can I say? I haven't been much of a lady catcher, due to being a shy nerd and, more than likely, the fact that, until recently, I was a transsexual in repression and hiding it from myself.

So I stood there in front of her with my eyes staring at her fingers sitting on her phone for what felt like five to ten minutes, though was probably actually less than one.

“Well, that is if you don't mind?” I suddenly heard her say.

I was then quickly knocked out of the evil spell.

I mumbled yes and quietly gave her my number, and with prompting, my name and email.

Then being the suave, sophisticated guy I am, I said I would check out her band again if I wasn't busy with my thirteen-year-old daughter.

Yeah, great, I'm sure mentioning my thirteen-year-old daughter proved I had no interest in her and I wasn't a blubbering idiot because I was attracted to her.

Anyway, after that, I mumbled a fast good-bye, scurried away quickly as possible and prayed I wouldn't see her for the rest of the festival. And wondered what the freak I was going to do if she recognized me at her next show!

Thursday, July 01, 2010

MY LIFE and ENTERTAINMENT: Of Ducks, Rabbits, Looney Tunes And The Justice League And Gods!

This is from me, and NOT some reprinted material. - OlderMusicGeek

My daughter and I were watching How I Met Your Mother. On this episode, they were explaining to Robin how someone's view of a person can change. Ted used a picture that can look like a duck one way and a rabbit another way.

Then they compared a bad boyfriend to a rabbit and a good one to a duck. Marshall, and rightfully so in my opinion, asked why the rabbit was considered worse than the duck. This started a huge argument among the group until Marshall gave in.

Well, of course, my daughter had to take the duck side, so we, ourselves had a long argument.

Of course, I talked about how cute and cuddly rabbits are, especially compared to ducks. And how much people would rather have a pet rabbit than a pet duck!

My daughter, though, brought up Donald Duck, and how there was no rabbit in Disney.

I, of course, brought up Bugs Bunny, and talked about how he was MUCH cooler than Donald Duck, and even cooler than Daffy Duck.

My daughter tried to say Daffy could kick Bugs' ass, but I and her text buddy set her straight on that point!

Then my daughter claimed, "Well, Bugs Bunny couldn't defeat Super Duck."

Surprised, I insisted, "Are you crazy?! Bugs Bunny could defeat Superman. Bugs could defeat the whole Justice League!"

"What do you think Bugs Bunny is a god?"

"Have you seen the Warner Brothers cartoons. They all have the powers of gods. They come back from explosions and falling from great heights! Roadrunner can even run into a picture painted on a rock wall!"

Then later, we were watching Arthur and I pointed out how Arthuyr's best friend is a rabbit. Plus, one of the bullies is a rabbit. "Where's the duck on Arthur?! There isn't one!"

My daughter just shook her head! I should have been on that episode of How I Met Your Mother!

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