HUMOR: Pirate Translation Of A Christmas Classic

Bein' a fan o' th' language, Pirate, last voyage I presented two Buccanneer versions o' Th' Night Before Christmas. Followin' that tradition - admitted a wee days late, I present a Pirate translation o' th' openin' an' closin' o' Charles Dickens` A Christmas Shantey. I had helped wi' this Buccanneer translator.- Dirty Sam Read of the good ship, The Hate Of The West (aka OlderMusicGeek)

A CHRISTMAS SHANTEY
by Charles Dickens

I be havin' endeavoured in this Ghostly wee book, t' raise th' Ghost o' an Idee, which shall nay put me readers ou' o' humour wi' they's self, wi' each other, wi' th' season, or wi' me. May 't haunt the'r houses pleasantly, an' nay one wish t' lay 't.

The'r faithful Matey an' Servant,
C. D.
Decembree, 1843.

Stave 1: Marley`s Ghost

Marley be dead: t' begin wi'. Thar be nay doubtwhatereabout that. Th' register o' his burial be signed by th' clergyman, th' clerk, th' undertaker, an' th' chief mourner. Scrooge signed 't. An' Scrooge`s name be good upon `Change, fer anythin' he chose t' put his hand t'.

Old Marley be as dead as a door-nail.

Mind! I dasn't mean t' say that I know, o' me own knowledge, what thar be particularly dead about a door-nail. I might ben inclined, myself, t' regard a coffin-nail as th' deadest piece o' ironmongery in th' trade. But th' wisdom o' our ancestors be in th' simile; an' me unhallowed hands shall nay disturb 't, or th' Country`s done fer. Ye will therefore permit me t' repeat, emphatically, that Marley be as dead as a door-nail.

Scrooge be knowin' he be dead? O' course he did. How could 't be otherwise? Scrooge an' he be partners fer I dasn't know how many voyages. Scrooge be his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole matey, an' sole mourner. An' e'en Scrooge be nay so dreadfully cut up by th' sad event, but that he be an excellent man o' business on th' very tide o' th' funeral, an' solemnised 't wi' an undoubted bargain.

Th' mention o' Marley`s funeral brings me aft t' th' point I started from. Thar be nay doubt that Marley be dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothin' wonderful can come o' th' story I be goin' t' relate. If we be nay perfectly convinced that Hamlet`s Father sank t'Davy Jones' locker before th' play began, thar would be nothin' more remarkable in his takin' a stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon his own ramparts, than thar would be in any other middle-aged
gentleman rashly turnin' ou' after dark in a breezy spot -- say Saint Paul`s Churchyard fer instance -- literally t' astonish his lad`s weak mind...


Scrooge be better than his word. He did 't all, an' infinitely more; an' t' Wee Tim, who did nay sink t'Davy Jones' locker, he be a second father. He became as good a matey, as good a master, an' as good a man, as th' good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in th' good old world. Some swabbies laughed t' be seein' th' alteration in th' lad's, but he let them yo ho ho, an' wee heeded them; fer he be wise enough t' know that nothin' erehappened on this globe, fer good, at which some swabbies did nay be havin' the'r fill o' yo ho ho in th' outset; an' knowin' that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought 't quite as well that they ortin' ta wrinkle up the'r one good eye in grins, as be havin' th' malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: an' that be quite enough fer th' lad's.

He be havin' nay further intercourse wi' Spirits, but lived upon th' Total Abstinence Principle, ereafterwards; an' 't be always spake o' th' lad's, that he be knowin' how t' keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed th' knowledge. May that be truly spake o' us, an' all o' us! An' so, as Wee Tim observed, God be blessin' Us, Ever' One!

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Jolly Chris`mas or whatere holiday ye`re celebratin'!
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CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Origin Of Bah Humbug

This is from me, and is NOT some reprinted material. - OlderMusicGeek

Last year, I had the following at the end of all my Christmas posts...

Happy Christmas and/or Boxing Day and/or Kwanzaa and/or Hannakah and/or Bodhi Day and/or Sanghamitta Day and/or Shabe Cheleh and/or Makara Sankranti and/or Junkanoo and/or Dong Zhi and/or Toji and/or Soyal and/or Yule and/or Seva Zistane and/or Alban Arthan and/or Long Night and/or Mean Geimrech and/or Brumalia and/or Dies Natalis Solis Invicti and/or Saturnalia and/or Lenaea and/or Wren Day and/or Tekufah Tevet and/or Winter Solstice and/or ChriFSMas and/or any other December or winter solstice holidays i missed!

Oh, and Bah Humbug to those who don't celebrate the holidays! :)

Some of you asked about this "Bah Humbug" holiday.

So I thought I would explained this little known holiday.

It occurs on the winter solstice or rather during the longest night of the year.

Originally, the holiday was started by a ancient Greek school of philosophers known as the Skeptikoi. The purpose of it then was to "comtemplate how the unknowability of the world is like the darkest darkness".

It was called "βάλλω baukopanourgos" - "throwing of the humbug". The insects were so numerous that night, that they were swatting them left and right. And many of the insects got knocked around.

Somehow, βάλλω or "ballo" eventually became "bah" and "baukopanourgos" was translated to its English equivalent.


This time of contemplation was then picked up the school of philosophers in ancient Greeks known as the "κύων" or the "dogs" or The "Cynics".

They were called the dogs because they felt virtue was the only thing needed for happiness, and anything else - including family, money, and even hygiene - weren't needed.

But under The Cynics, this holiday became about they needed nothing, not even light, instead of the unknowable.


As time went on, "Bah Humbugs" became "Bah Humbug" and it became about things we don't need rather than not needing anything. So by Victorian times, it was a time to contemplate on serious matters rather than frivolous things.

And humbug got associated with nonsense and silly things. And also with hoaxes and jests.

And since "bah" rather than "boo" was used to scare people in Victoria times, most people assume "bah humbug" was away of telling people to send away their nonsense.

Thus, Ebenezer Scrooge telling his nephew "bah humbug" when he brought up Christmas.

Wikipedia entry on Skepticism
Wikipedia entry on The Cynics
Wikipedia entry for Humbug
The Uncyclopedia entry for Humbug

A link to all my Christmas posts

Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you're celebrating!
MY CHRISTMAS INTERNET RADIO STATIONS
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OlderMusicGeek's Christmas QuickMix
powered by PANDORA
But if you don't have Pandora, you can hear some of songs at http://www.playlist.com/oldermusicgeek