MY LIFE - My supervisors underestimates me!

MY LIFE - My boss thinks I'm ugly!

MY LIFE - Two work emails about a yellow liquid!

MY LIFE - Of work, monkeys, and poop!

MY LIFE - Crackling "Hehehe" is apparently frowned upon too!

MY LIFE - "Dan, are you for real?"

Me: "I need to leave an hour earlier than I thought."

Supervisor: "Dan, are you for real?"

Me: "No, I'm just a figment of your imagination."

Her: "Wow! You seem so real!"

Me: "You might want to see someone about that?"

MY LIFE: Work email about wanting blood

Email exchange at work...

Supervisor: "Well alrighty then MR RUDEY... I said I was sorry, gosh. What do you want, my blood next????? HUH??????"

Me: "Depends on your blood type!"

MY LIFE: Adding some woo hoo to a co-workers life

Me: "You know what tomorrow is?"

Co-worker I've teased about being grumpy: "No."

Supervisor: "What's tomorrow?"

Me: "It's Friday! Woo hoo!"

Co-worker: (deadpan to supervisor) "The woo hoo's the important part."

MY LIFE: Trivia Games Of The Mind

I don't know about you, but as I get older, I find my mind playing more and more trivia games with me. And, of course, rude mind that it is – and my mind can be very rude! - it doesn't even ask me if I want to play.

So I was sitting there innocently at work doing quality control on data entry – yes, I know, exciting work. Which is why I have to have my music with me. If I forget my iPod, I take a 9 o'clock lunch to go get it! But that really has nothing to do with our story. Just an exciting tidbit of my exciting life I was throwing at you. I swear, if I wasn't getting a sex change, I'd be one of the most boring people on this planet!

Anyway! I'm at work listening to music, when I was trying to remember some of the punk rock and alternative rock I had on my old hard drive before it died. And for some reason, I remember this song “Last Nite”. I can kind of remember how it goes and some of the lyrics, but I can't remember the name of the band. I know they're The S-something.


Now normally, I would just google this, but our work has a really strict policy about internet usage. Almost any site having remotely to do with social networks is blocked. Even a local TV channel's site is blocked because we were picking up too many viruses from there. Of course, these rules don't stop me from using the internet, just careful about when I do use it.

And I wasn't ready to use it yet. I still had a couple of other resources.

And I turned to one of my cubicle mates. He was one of the trio of trivia experts in our department. I being another, and a data entry tech being the third. The third member of the trio wasn't a huge music fan. He liked well enough and could answer some general music trivia questions, but he wasn't one of the people you go to about music.

Now, my cubicle mate was into music quite a bit. Not as much as me of course, but more than almost everybody in the department. And as I said he was part of the trivia trio in our department.


So I tap his shoulder, he takes off his headphones, and I say, “I need help. I can't remember this name of a band. I know they had a song called “Last Nite” and it's spelled N-I-T-E. And their name starts with an S. They're The S-Something. They're a guitar-oriented alternative band from the 90s.” They're actually from the 00s, but anyway....

Then more information came to me. “And part of the lyrics was 'last nite she said'. And there's something about grandma doesn't know and UFOs don't know. And on their second album they sing something about the end having no end. And they've had 3 albums that I know of.”

“Oh, and I think their first album is called “Last Nite”.” It wasn't. If my mind is going to play trivia games with me, I wish it would play fair with accurate information.

My cubicle mate thought for a while. “Those lyrics sound familiar. Could you sing part of it?”

I smiled. “Um, I could, but you still probably wouldn't recognize it.”

He smiled back. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Then he added, “Well, dang, now I want to know who it is.”


Fortunately, I still had another ace up my sleeve. We have a second music fanatic in our department. But don't worry, she's about 25 years younger than me, so there's little overlap between us.

In fact, a couple years back, I was tried to impress her, show her that I didn't just listen to music from my time, the late 70s to mid 80s. I rattled off a bunch of "new" bands i was listening to.

And she said, and I quote... and yes, I can quote her because I'll never forget what she said! “Oh, yeah, the 90s, that was good music. I listen to some of that stuff when I was a kid.”


So anyway, I went to her cube but she wasn't there. So I left a note. Fortunately for once, I thought ahead and let her know what it was about, so she wouldn't worry and wonder why she was being summoned to the quality control cubicle. Figured she'd be a bit annoyed worrying about why the q.c. people to see her and find out it's just to name a band.

Well, I couldn't wait any longer. I broke company rules – shhh! - and looked up the lyrics on the internet. The band's name came right up.

The other music fanatic showed up shortly after that. She was kind of laughing. She asked if we figured it out and said we had, but gave her the information I had anyway.

And right away she said, “The Strokes?”

“Yep. Where were you when we needed you?”

She just smiled and kind of shrugged. And I just kind of shrugged at my slowly deteriorating mind and its stupid trivia games.

MY LIFE: Apparently I Fit The Profile

This is from me, and NOT some reprinted material. - OlderMusicGeek

“What's with the hair?” asked a co-worker who I've nicknamed "The Mortal Enemy”. Apparently, a lot of what I do is some horrible affront to her. Honestly, I get hassled less by my ex-wife.

On this occasion, it looked like she had a problem with me tying back the hair that I'd been growing out. I explained that I prefer the hair behind me than in my face.

“Well, I have a pair of scissors at my desk.”

I commented on how I don't see her using them, and she went on about how she gives her hair to charity. For her I guess, that is the only good reason to grow your hair out.


I later grumbled one of my cubicle mates how the person with the longest hair was complaining about my hair.

She rolled her eyes in sympathy.

“Well, she thinks only certain kind of guys wear their hair long.”

I am a male-to-female transsexual, but I've just started transitioning and haven't come out at work. So I was curious if any of my co-workers had seen me in female mode.

“What kind of guys?”

“Well, you know...”

“Not really.” At least, I didn't know what she meant!

“Well, you know, just certain guys.”

“No, I don't know.”

My co-worker thought for a moment.

“Well, like guys who are really into music.”

I smiled. “Yeah, that doesn't describe me at me!”

She looked a little embarrassed and added, “And college professors.”

“Oh, well, I've never been compared to absent-minded professors!”

She rolled her eyes again, though not in sympathy this time, and went back to work.

I went back to work thinking about how my mortal enemy has it out for professorial music fans.

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Question From FormSpring.Me - Have you ever been fired? If so, why?

I was still in the 6-month probation period at a new job. and I was going through a bitter divorce. And basically, I messed up so much at the job, they said they couldn't keep me.

Ask me anything

ON OLDERMUSICGEEK'S STUPID TESTS AND QUIZZES: Survey

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Porn Films You Probably Don't Want To See

This is from me, and is not reprinted from somewhere else. - OlderMusicGeek

We got the following email at work...

If you receive an email from someone you do not know and subject line that is not clear, DO NOT OPEN THE EMAIL. The DHS system is receiving some SPAM that is very pornographic and we all need to take special attention. The IT staff are working to block these from our email but the senders are making changes so the blocks do not always work.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

The Ex-Marine co-worker sent this email to me...

I think if some examples were sent out, such as but not limited to Busty Babes of Babylon or Boodilicious Twelve, we could a much better job of identification and removal. Of course those examples would be strictly for education purposes. What do you guys think?

My response...

I think those would beat something like "Diabolic Deeds of a Data Entry Diva" or "Malicious Meanderings of a Mauling Mail Opener"!

I pictured this data entry gal in a tight dress calling an IT guy who shows up looking like no real IT guy in the real world!

"I'm a bad girl. I spilled coke all over my keyboard. I guess I'll have to punished."

"Oh, it seems there's a socket that needs filled!"

And that made me think of other porn titles, ones that you wouldn't see too much, or would at least have a limited audience...

The Delicious Deeds at the Dirty Dungeons And Dragons Game
The Rifling and Ransacking of the Rowdy Role-Play Klingons
The Creepy Caresses at the Kinky Comicbook Shop Owner
The Leery Looks of the Leacherous LARPers

If you can think of others, feel free to add them in the comments section!

CULTURE/SOCIETY: My "Tweets" From Twitter

daughter and i woke up late on the 4th-decided to skip the parade. guess we're both getting older. :( 04:07 AM July 05, 2008 from web
going to the parade is not as fun with a gal who goes just for tradition. i miss the little girl excited about thrown candy and firetrucks! 04:07 AM July 05, 2008 from web
sat up close to the fireworks. we both still had to see those. they were great! 04:06 AM July 05, 2008 from web
found my mp3 player! can't do my job checking other's data entry without my music! especially when the school stations are dead in summer. 09:40 PM July 03, 2008 from web
had a fun day yesterday-wanted to say, "thank you mistress god, may i have another?" but god would probably put on leather and gave me more! 09:38 PM July 03, 2008 from web joshuabelanger - @OlderMusicGeek 100% agree! 02:11 AM July 01, 2008 from Twinkle in reply to OlderMusicGeek
@shannonhilson and @tweelings_en - i cant get enough flogging molly - especially the cd, "swagger" - they come here next month - wooooo! 01:43 AM July 01, 2008 from web in reply to shannonhilson
@joshuabelanger - i found most good artists of any type tend to be dicks - look at hemingway, john "johnny rotten" lydon, andy kaufman. 01:35 AM July 01, 2008 from web in reply to joshuabelanger
there are a few nice ones - but they're the exceptions unfortunately. seems you have to think highly of yourself to make it far. 01:35 AM July 01, 2008 from web joshuabelanger - Watched a doc on Dali today. I was unaware of how much of a pretentious dick he was. And the dada movement wasnt as fun as it looked. 02:14 AM July 01, 2008 from Twinkle
a last bit from the arts festival. i was embarassing my daughter when we were there. i felt people should get excited about art like sports. 01:10 AM July 01, 2008 from web
was shouting things like "whoo arts festival!", "yes, black and white photography!", "all right, wired sculpture", "whoo hoo, mixed media!" 01:09 AM July 01, 2008 from web
i even suggested we paint the letters a-r-t on our chest and do the wave. "yeah, art, all ri-i-i-ight!!!!!!!!! 01:09 AM July 01, 2008 from web
@sushiday - god, you're torturing me with that banana bread description! 12:56 AM July 01, 2008 from web in reply to sushiday
@sushiday - if you get more eyeaches that turn to headaches, you might want to see a doctor. it's probably nothing, but then again... 12:46 AM July 01, 2008 from web in reply to sushiday
@sushiday - (in homer voice with drool running out of my mouth) hmmm, banana bread with chocolate chips! want to send some my way? 12:42 AM July 01, 2008 from web in reply to sushiday sushiday - @OlderMusicGeek Oh yes, it's wonderful. An ooey gooey mess of chocolatey banana deliciousness! Mmmmmm... banana bread... 10:51 PM June 30, 2008 from twhirl in reply to OlderMusicGeek shannonhilson - Flogging Molly, where have you been all my life? Nothing beats discovering a new band to love. 10:17 PM June 30, 2008 from web sushiday - Making banana bread with chocolate chips... mmm it smells good! 05:04 PM June 30, 2008 from twhirl
@killregrets - that movie night idea still sounds like a blast! 05:16 AM June 30, 2008 from web in reply to killregrets
@juice_brianne -didnt eat at the arts festival! we just went to quik trip. got sandwich, chips, drinks for 3 for price of 1or 2 items there. 01:59 PM June 29, 2008 from web in reply to juice_brianne
the arts festival was fun and interesting-saw an all white band play west african drums and a cajun band from st louis! 04:08 AM June 29, 2008 from web
and i finally saw a local bluegrass band, mr baber's neighbors, that i have been wanting to see. and they are good! 04:08 AM June 29, 2008 from web
oh, yeah, i also quite a few purty pictures! 04:07 AM June 29, 2008 from web
2 hours into the arts festival - my tween daughter's friend says, "it's only art here!" 04:14 PM June 28, 2008 from web

@jmcoon - you used wal-mart as a reason to get out of your house?! 04:13 PM June 28, 2008 from web in reply to jmcoon
@juice_brianne - you're at the arts festival too! are you hiding from me and my daughter?! :) 04:12 PM June 28, 2008 from web in reply to juice_brianne
taking my tween daughter and a friend of hers to the arts festival in town. i hope i get to see what i want to see! 07:38 AM June 28, 2008 from web

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Latest "Tweets" From Twitter

figured out how twitter works. last "tweet" pointless cus juice_brianne is not reading/following my tweets! i feel so rejected! :)

stuck using the library computers - and the work computer during break and lunch - to keep up on reading emails and blogs! ugh!

A link to my Twitter page

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Real Reason It Snowed on April First?

This is an email exchange from my work. - OlderMusicGeek

Me:
Geez, looks like mother nature decided to play a practical joke on us!

I yelled, "It's April first already! Stop for god's sake!" But would the snow listen? Of course not!

Hope we don't get another April snowstorm!

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

A co-worker:
SORRY ABOUT YOUR LUCK. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD. JESUS LOVES YOU.

Yeah, it makes no sense to me either. I don't know what Jesus or snow has to do with childhood - maybe it's the Mother Nature reference?

The Ex-Marine Co-Worker:
It's faithless bastards like yourself that cause this insipid weather!! Now I shall pray for God to bestow his fury upon thee!!(ha,ha)...rsvp...healthy, wealthy, wise, and happy!

Me:
Well, as one other faithless friend told me, "Jesus loves you" is a born again's way of saying "f--- you".

So, Eric, Jesus loves you very much! :)

The Ex-Marine Co-Worker:
I needed a good laugh like that!! And I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart with deepest sincerity. Jesus loves you too, Dan! Jesus loves you too!

Me:
Oh yeah! Well, the whole trinity loves you!

How do you like that?

The archangels and saints too!

Of course, this would explain why it freakin' snowed again!!

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Honey, I'm Home

This is a Valentine's Day post from the blog, The Sneeze. - OlderMusicGeek

Stevie's Home! (A Valentine's Love Tip)

A long time ago when my wife was my girlfriend and we were LIVING IN SIN, a tradition was born. I'd like to now share it with you all.

I came home from work one day and found her in front of the computer. I said "Hello," and she barely grunted back. I don't even think she looked up.

Half-jokingly I responded, "Okay, we're gonna try this again." I walked out the front door and came back in a few moments later...

"STEVIE'S HOME, STEVIE'S HOME!!! YAY!!!" was the new over-the-top cheer I was greeted with. It was accompanied by a hug and kisses. And I loved it.

What began as a joke quickly became an ongoing practice that continues to this day in our house: The person who is home first must make a small fuss when the other person gets there.

Does it sound silly? Yes. Do I promise that it will set the tone for a nicer evening just about every time you do it? Yes.

The world is full of douchebags, guys. Take 3 seconds out of your precious day to make a fuss over each other. Do it like you mean it. Do it as a goof. Just do it a lot. I promise you'll be glad you did.

A link to the original post
A link to a follow up post on The Sneeze

HUMOR: An Exchange of Emails at Work about Having a Good Night

Here's another exchange of emails from my work. - OlderMusicGeek.

My supervisor to my department:
Please do not submit your production sheets until you are getting ready to walk out the door. This should be the last thing you do before clocking out at the end of the day.

-Complete production sheet
-E-mail production sheet
-Sign into webclock and clock out
-Go home and have a good night.

Please don't submit your production sheets early. Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks.

Me to my supervisor:
Will we get in trouble if we don't have a good night? :)

My Supervisor to me:
Maybe.

Me to my supervisor:
Boy, I better talk to my daughter about her behavior then. :)

Me to Ex-Marine Co-Worker:
Do you think we will get in trouble if we do NOT have a good night?

Ex-Marine Co-Worker to me:
I'm not sure. Do we get a raise for an excellent night?

Me to Ex-Marine Co-Worker:
I don't think we better take these inquiries any further - could get us in trouble!

Me to Ex-Marine Co-Worker:
You know, now that I think about it - I don't think it's any of work's business what kind of night I have. ( lol - "work's business" - I made a pun!) If I want to have a lousy night at my own home, I should be able to!

I later stopped by my co-worker's desk and said, "This is just work interfering in my personal life too much! If I want to have a miserable night, I should be allowed to! I'm off the clock!"

To which he responded, "Give it up, Dan! Give it up!"

CULTURE/SOCIETY and HUMOR: An Email Exchange with an Older Co-Worker

This is me, OlderMusicGeek, not some reprinted article. :)

This is a copy of an email exchange I had with an older co-worker. I put my parts in parentheses for clarity.

The Older Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Worker:
How cool are you??? You will have fun taking this VERY short test.

This test is based on how cool you were in High School--the crowd with whom you ran, etc. It will tell you, genetically, if you are still the same as you were in High School. You may want to send it to your friends so they can see how or If they've changed. Takes less than a minute.

SEE IF YOU ARE A STILL A COOL PERSON
LIKE YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL:
http://www.elks590.org/main/cooltest.htm

Me:
great test, but somebody already sent it to me :)

i did, though, put a link on my blog! besides having sent it to all my friends.

The Older Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Worker:
IF SOMEBODY ALREADY SENT IT TO YOU, AND I SENT IT TO YOU, DOES THAT MAKE YOU A DOUBLE DORK? LOVE YA, DAN. HAHAHHAH

Me:
lol - maybe so!

The Older Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Worker:
I DON'T TRANSLATE TEXT MESSAGES. WHAT DOES LOL MEAN? HAVE I JUST BEEN TOLD OFF?

Me:
you caught me - it mean lick our loins

The Older Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Workerr:
OK THEN. I ASKED.

- She also dropped by my desk and told me I was "grotty", gross in other words! :) -

Me:
so i can say lol now?

The Older Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Worker:
NOT TO ME, PAL.

Me:
okay then - ha ha ha ha