HUMOR: You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When.....

I got this from my brother, Harmonica23. - OlderMusicGeek

You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When.....
.. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
.. You personally account for more than 1% of the Gross National Product of Brazil.
.. You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
.. You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
.. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
.. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
.. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
.. Mosquitoes that bite you can fly through glass.
.. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
.. You think skydiving is just too damned slow.
.. You answer the door before people knock.
.. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
.. You can jump-start your car without cables.
.. Your urine stream bores a hole in the toilet.
.. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
.. You stand in front of the microwave oven screaming, "Hurry UP!!!"
.. You lick your coffeepot clean.
.. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: An English Lesson and a Song about Daves

A funny english lesson sent to me by a comedian who's a myspace friend. - OlderMusicGeek



And this one is from my much younger brother's myspace page. - OlderMusicGeek

HUMOR and SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION: A Friendship Request My Brother Got on MySpace

My youngest brother, Harmonica 23, sent me this bulletin on MySpace. Thought it was funny enough to post! - OlderMusicGeek

Date:	Jun 24, 2007 09:34 PM
Subject	How Cool Am I?
Body:	Nothing Christians haven't been telling me for years!

HUMOR: Happy Friday the 13th

My brother, Harmonica 23, sent me this. I thought it was good enough to pass on. - OlderMusicGeek

ENTERTAINMENT: A Bizarre Video Using Albums Covers

My much younger brother, Harmonica 23, once again sent something hilarious that I have to pass unto you.

WARNING: It makes much use of blood!

A bizarre video using albums covers

ENTERTAINMENT and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Which Horror Movie Character Are You?

My brother, Harmonica 23 , sent me this result he got from a internet quiz.



I found it pretty amusing, and decided to try it for myself...



I can't say I approve of the comment on the mentally challenged. But unfortunately, I suppose there might be a bit of truth in the description, though I'm not exactly sure how much. But the description was funny enough that I'm glad I did it.

If you want to try it, click on the link below. The links in the picture just take you to the website, but not the quiz.

Which Horror Movie Character Are You?

Please feel free to put your results in the comments. I would love to see some other descriptions.

HUMOR: Some Google Games with Your Name

My brother, Harmonica23 , sent me this via a MySpace bulletin -

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Harmonica23
Date: Sep 1, 2006 9:05 PM

Alrighty, so I was messing about with Google and came across a few rather amusing quotes using my name and an action verb. You know the drill, put "Your Name Licked" in quotes and Google it.

Just to appease all the smartalecks:

No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.

Your search - "Your Name Licked" - did not match any documents.

Now go do it the Right Way!

Harmonica23 ~ "Dave licked a dead guy . Pass it on"

I, myself, came up with this ditty - Dan licked his fingers then put them in his ears.


He also had a great one I've been meaning to pass one, but haven't got around to doing it. So now I finally will.

The same idea, but a different verb - "Your name looks like". Don't forget the quotes or you won't get the exact phrase.

Here's some from the first page. Most, if not all, seem to be referring to the Harry Potter actor.

Dan looks like something bigger flew up his butt
Dan looks like he is crack or something.., he's still hot... GO DAN!
Dan looks like he's been drinking. and what's that on his arm?
Dan looks like he's kind of checking out the Angel's rack
Dan looks like a potential candidate for Every 15 Minutes
Dan looks like a girl here, what with the plaited hair and broad hips
Dan looks like a bit of a nerd from the back lol!

CULTURE/SOCIETY: The Thrace Survey

My much younger brother, Harmonica23 sent me this. Fill out your version if you want. Don't bother reading it if you don't want to. Just sending in case people are curious. Plus, I'm trying to clear out my emails! - OlderMusicGeek

THREE SURVEY:

Three Names You Go By:
1. Dan
2. OlderMusicGeek
3. Nicholas Y Carlson - for internet sites, so they can't steal my identity - I also put my birthday as July 4!

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. glasses
2. t-shirt
3. underwear

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. humor
2. respect
3. rarrr!

Three things you want really badly: (right now)
1. My sickness that only makes tired - with no other symptoms - to go away
2. a maid or wife - willing to share either
3. more money - but will settle for an ipod

Three pets you had/have:
1. Darkside - one of the most playful cats ever
2. Dobie - so-named because it was grey and Radio Lesotho kept playing Dobie Gray's "Drift Away"
3. Mollo - another cat whose name is Sesotho for fire, because it was yellow and feisty

Three favorite sports:
1. hiking
2. yeah, a nerd like me is into sports
3. any sport someone I know is playing

Three people who will fill this out:
1. don't know
2. don't care
3. maybe my girlfriend

Three things you did last night:
1. instant message
2. sleep
3. email

Three Favorite Places to eat:
1. El Rodeo
2. Olive Garden
3. anywhere dirt cheap

Three People that live in your place:
1. me
2. my daughter
3. the farting ghost - Well, someone has to be doing it when my daughter and I both say we didn't do it!

Three things you like about yourself:
1. fairly intelligent
2. witty - though some say obnoxious - the jealous ones of course!
3. I think I'm a pretty good dad

Three things you ate today:
1. toast
2. peanut butter
3. might have swallow a little toothpaste

Three people you last talked To:
1. my girlfriend
2. my daughter
3. a crazy smart-aleck co-worker

Three things you're doing tomorrow:
1. resting
2. maybe a little shopping
3. sleeping

Three things that make you laugh:
1. my daughter
2. my girlfriend
3. maybe that crazy smart-aleck co-worker, not wait, myself - yes, I admit it!

Three things that you want to do this year:
1. be healthy!
2. don't have many goals this year - last year was hard enough!
3. spend more time with my daughter

CULTURE/SOCIETY: An Interesting Questionaire from My Kid Brother

My kid brother, Harmonica23, sent me this on MySpace. I found it pretty amusing, and he said I could pass onto you, my faithful readers. Enjoy! - OlderMusicGeek

So, every survey mcbulletin thingy I see is always the same. So, I made a survey, that actually listens and responds to you! Check it out! THE OFFICIAL SURVEY OF CARWASH.

1.) WHOA, don't sneak up on me like that. Who are you?
Apparently not a very good Ninja

2.) Who gave ya this?
Your mom in exchange for sexual favors

3.) Well, that person is pretty cool, might as well get ta know ya better, where ya from, chum?
The 7th Ring of Hell

4.) You still there now?
I'm a permanent fixture

5.) Oh yeah, why is that?
Because I never leave

6.) Sweet, good to know. Do you have any questions for me?
Nope

7.) Oh yeah, what is it?
What are you some kind of moron?

8.) I'm not going to answer that. Where did that question come from?
Well....You were being a moron

9.) Well, none the less, it was pretty insulting. So let's pick a less controversal topic: How do you feel about abortions?
I like them with a pinch of salt

10.) I KID, I KID. I don't really want to know that. What's something I would normally ask someone?
Did I miss the short bus again??

11.) That was rhetorical. Wait your turn. Hey, if you had a super power, what would it be?
The power to be a better Ninja so I can kill people and not get trapped into having conversations with them.

12.) That's kinda lame, you got something better than that? Or how about weirder?
How about sonic farts that blow peoples ear drums

13.) That was a hoot and a hollar! If you had superpowers, would you use them for good, or for evil?
Eh, just as a party gag

14.) I knew you would choose that, it's like...we know each others thoughts... Was that creepy?
Not as creepy as the fact that your chummin' up to the guy that was sent to kill you.

15.) I apologize. So...you single?
None of your damn business

16.) Well that sounds super-duper. What attracts you to the opposite sex?
Oh so your just gonna assume I'm straight huh? There is such thing as gay Ninjas ya know.

17.) Yeah, sense of humor is important, but I usually just go by breast size. What? Was that shallow?
Yeah, boobs are a good time

18.) What do you do for a living?
Duh, hello, Ninja assassin

19.) Oh my gosh, that sounds pretty darn interesting, you like it?
Not always *cough*

20.) Did you have to get some sort of training or anything?
No, I just turned in an application and Bam! I was a Ninja

21.) Rad. So, whats you favorite professional sport?
Ninja Golf

22.) Yeah, me too. Ever been to a sporting event?
Me and couple other Ninjas from the office play every Sunday

23.) Exciting! How old were ya?
Every Sunday!

24.) Wow, you must have been pumped! The problem with sporting events is the beer always sucks. Super foamy 12 dollar beer night. Are you a beer drinker?
I shouldn't because it effects my work hence this conversation I'm having with you

25.) Whats your favorite overall beverage?
Red Bull. Ninjas gots to be alert

26.) What about the environment? Think we should do more to improve it, or haven't we jacked it up to improve it yet?
I can usually blend into any enviroment

27.) I'm hungry, you hungry?
No, I'm very skilled at suppressing my hunger

28.) Where's your favorite place to eat?
Ninja Lu's Rice Bowl

29.) Sounds fantastic! Is it expensive?
They have very reasonable lunch specials

30.) Well, that sounds fair enough, what do you recommend?
Assassin's Delight

31.) I'll have to try it. Are you going to take me?
Nah, you're not gonna live too much longer

32.) Are you picking up the check?
I guess so

33.) Oh, aren't you the pal? Seen any good movies lately?
3 Ninjas, best movie ever

34.) Yeah I heard that was awesome, 'specially that one part with that one dude, who was doin' stuff...totally sweet, I think I might have ruined it for a few people. Sorry, you forgive me?
That part rocks socks!

35.) Seen any bad movies lately?
I only watch Ninja Movies....So, no!

36.) That's always cool when that happens! Do you think leaving a survey at 36 questions is weird?
Well....you have no choice because I'm killing you now

Too bad, cause I'm doin' it. I guess I'll check ya later. Have fun doin' stuff that you like to do.

Remember, Carwash always says to bring a buddy!

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIEY: Odd Survey Forwarded to Me by My Kid Brother

My kid brother, Harmonica 23, sent me this survey. I thought that you few readers, who still come to my site, might find my responses amusing.

A sort of oddball name someone has given you:
Spud - because of all the potatoes we grow in Iowa

In your opinion, where is the weirdest place to have an itch?
Inside the ear

In you opinion, where is the most annoying/oddest place to have a pimple?
On the butt crack

What would be an odd color for someone to dye their hair?
Grey

What would be an odd name for someone to name a virus?
Bacteria

What to you is the weirdest/ugliest looking color?
Lime green

Where is the most painful place to be bleeding?
Finger or lip

The oddest time to go to sleep?
When it's time to get up

Are you awake?
Yes

Are you sure?
Yes.. unless I'm only dreaming I'm awake!

What gender are you?
Male

How old are you?
Early 40's

Did you enjoy this short odd survey?
It was amusing

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
4 pounds, 5 ounces or 1.96 kilograms

CULTURE/SOCIETY: A Site of a Friend and One form a Relative

If you what see what kind of people I know in the REAL world - as opposed to the virtual world - here are a couple of websites.

http://www.freddgorham.com/ - this is the site from old buddy of mine I met in the comic book club I have been in for over 25 years and since I was in high school. He was going to a famous comic book artist. He still does some comics and artwork for gaming magazines, but earns his big bucks as website developer.

Harmonica 23 - my kid brother's website. He's actually in his early 30's, so he's not a kid. But he's ten years younger than me, so he'll always be my kid brother!