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Showing posts with label drunk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drunk. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

CULTURE/SOCIETY: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Ireland

This is from Irish Central. I found it through Yahoo. - OlderMusicGeek

10 things you didn't know about Ireland

By Conn Corrigan, IrishCentral.com Staff Writer
Published Monday, March 16, 2009, 10:54 PM
Updated Monday, March 16, 2009, 6:19 PM

1. Technically, it is an offense to be drunk in public in Ireland
Technically, it is an offense to be drunk in public in Ireland. Regulations introduced last year allow the police to issue on-the-spot fines for anyone caught being drunk in a public place in Ireland.

2. An Irishman founded the Argentinean Navy
Irishman William Brown (known in Spanish as “Guillermo Brown”) is one of Argentina’s national heroes. He is commonly known as the “father of the Argentine navy” and was an important leader in the Argentinean struggle for independence from Spain.

Brown’s family left Foxford in Co. Mayo for Philadelphia in 1786 when he was aged 9 and his father died of yellow fever soon after they arrived in the U.S.

He led an adventurous early life: he fought in the Napoleonic wars, was taken prisoner-of-war, escaped to Germany, before somehow ending up in Uruguay, where he became a sea trader. He then founded the Argentinean navy, when it was at war with Spain.

Today there is a statute of Brown in his hometown of Foxford, Co. Mayo, which was unveiled in 2007, the 150th anniversary of his death. in Argentina, there are 1,200 streets, 500 statues, two towns, one city and a few football clubs named after him.

3. Only two members of U2 were born in Ireland
David Howell Evans, more commonly known as The Edge, was born in London, to Welsh parents. Garvin and Gwenda Evans moved to Malahide in Dublin when The Edge was aged 1. Adam Clayton, U2's bassist, was born in Oxfordshire, England. His family moved to Malahide in Dublin when he was 5, and he soon became friends with The Edge.

Only Bono and Larry Mullen Jr. were actually born in Ireland.

4. The British Embassy in Tehran is on a street named after an Irishman
In 1981, shortly after the death of IRA hunger-striker Bobby Sands, the Iranian government changed the name of the street where the British Embassy is located from "Churchill Boulevard" (after the British Prime Minister) to "Bobby Sands Street."

British Embassy Staff were then forced to route everything through a side door in the building to avoid showing their address as The British Embassy, Bobby Sands Street, Tehran.

5. Up until around the early 1990s, Ireland had a low per capita consumption of alcohol

When the word "Irish" comes up, "drinking" is never far behind. And today, Ireland alcohol's consumption is very high by international standards. A 2006 survey found that the Irish spend a higher proportion of their income on alcohol than anyone else in Europe. It also found that the Irish were the worst binge drinkers in Europe. So the recent evidence supports the old Irish drunkard stereotype.

But Ireland's alcohol consumption per population was moderate for much of the 20th century. There was a high level of alcohol abstinence in the country – something usually more associated with Protestantism – which was promoted by the Catholic Church.

As the Church's moral authority declined, however, and as the country became wealthier, the Irish started to drink a lot more - finally earning themselves that old heavy-drinking stereotype.

6. A Belfast hospital is a world leader in kneecap reconstruction

During the Troubles, the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast had one of the top trauma units in Europe. At one point as many as 100 victims of "limb executions" were being treated by the hospital every year, whose advances included external “limb scaffolding" that enables partial healing for bone damage too severe for reconstruction.

7. Ireland has the fourth largest stadium in Europe

Dublin's Croke Park, the headquarters of the Gaelic Athletic Association, is the fourth largest stadium in Europe. The 82,300-capacity stadium was redeveloped in 2005 and is now the fourth largest: only Camp Nou in Barcelona, Wembley in England, and Olimpiysky in the Ukraine, are bigger.

Rugby and soccer were banned from the stadium up until 2007 because of a long-standing rule banning “foreign” games. The rule was relaxed when the country’s main soccer and rugby stadium, Lansdowne Road, was closed for redevelopment.

8. In the summer of 2007, it rained in Ireland for 40 days straight
Even by Irish standards, 2007 was a wet summer. By August 24, it had rained in Ireland for 40 days - fulfilling an old Irish proverb that says it will rain for 40 days if it rains on St. Swithin's day (July 15). The rain usually takes a break in the summer for a couple of weeks and the rare sunshine sends the country pure mad!

9. Playboy was banned in Ireland until 1995
In 1995 you could get Playboy TV but you couldn't get the magazine, which was banned under the censorship laws.

10. More Guinness is sold in Nigeria than in Ireland
That's right: Ireland is the third largest market for Guinness. Nigeria is at second, and Britain is first.

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HUMOR, CULTURE/SOCIETY and ENTERTAINMENT: Happy St Patrick's Day





























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Monday, November 17, 2008

HUMOR and SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY: 5 Ways To Keep Your Drunken Self Away From The Internet

This was sent as a joke on the mass emailing that the gang who I was in Peace Corps with sends out. Though it's actually by a guy I twitter with! - OlderMusicGeek

5 Ways to Keep Your Drunken Self Away From the Internet
November 14, 2008 - 1:47 pm PDT - by Joel Falconer 14 Comments

Going near the Internet when you’re drunk is a bad, bad idea. Many people have discovered this the hard way. It’s particularly bad if you work online.

Google acknowledged this potential threat of the modern age when they provided a Gmail feature to keep you out of your inbox after you’ve hit the bottle. Once enabled, the feature will ask you to solve some mathematical problems before allowing you to send anything to anyone.

Most people, unfortunately, can still remember where the Calculator application is on their computer, even with a good half bottle of whiskey stuffed in their innards, so this hasn’t proven too effective for most. And still, there’s plenty of damage to be done in places where Gmail’s watchful eyes can’t protect you: Twitter, Facebook, your own blog. Even MySpace, though the chances of anyone noticing drunken behavior as anything but the norm over there aren’t high.

Here are a few methods for keeping your drunken alter-ego away from the computer. Hopefully, you’ll have a tougher time getting around these than you did getting around Gmail’s math quiz.

1. Hide the Power Cable

We all know Mac users like to gloat about how they never have to shut their computers down. But they’re also the most likely to get drunk and go surfing the net in such a sad state. I’m a Mac user myself, I should know.

Shut the computer down, take your power cable, and hide it somewhere. Preferably, your hiding place will require the assistance of a chair to reach, like the top of a cupboard or up in the roof through the manhole. That way, once you’ve had your fill, you won’t be able to get up there. Sure, you’ll try. But you’ll fall off the chair a few times, get a concussion and break some expensive items on your way down.

You certainly won’t be getting anywhere near that cable.

2. Install Linux

Here’s a surefire way to make sure you never make it to the desktop. Install Linux on your computer, and make sure it’s one of those versions that spews out heaps of unreadable machine-speak as it boots up. You know the sort, white text on a black background, a modern day reminder of your DOS years.

I’ll guarantee it, if you’ve had enough to drink, you won’t make it to the login screen. All that fast scrolling text will have you dizzy and nauseous. With any luck, you’ll perform a power chuck all over the screen, making it impossible to write an email or tweet something terrible.

And come on. Don’t tell me you can just clean up the chuck when you’re that drunk.

3. Follow Security Best Practices

You know those security best practices instructions from the IT department that you ignored? Follow them. Don’t let your machine save passwords. Come up with meticulously crafted passwords with impossible-to-memorize strings of numbers and letters. Then, don’t store your passwords anywhere.

Sure, you won’t remember those excruciatingly long strings even when you’re sober, not without writing them down. But isn’t it all worth it? Now you can’t get yourself fired or destroy your relationship by posting the wrong photo to Facebook.

4. Play Waterfall Tracks

Go to the nearest new age shop and grab a CD of waterfall and wildlife sounds. Rip the CD and put the tracks on loop. You know how waterfall sounds work—every time you go anywhere near the computer, you’ll have to rush to the bathroom. You won’t be able to hang around long enough to stop the track or turn off the speakers—ah, the simple power of beer.

5. Go to the Pub

Seriously, does nobody go out to drink anymore? Also, have you ever noticed that the last item in a list is always the most obvious idea? It’s expensive to drink out, I know, but it certainly doesn’t cost as much as losing your job. The other benefit is that your spouse won’t be on your back all night about picking up the beer caps you keep throwing across the room.

There’s still a danger: the smartphone. The smartphone that allows you to take an embarrassing photo and send it to all your friends by email, or publicly tweet it. Leave the smartphone at home.

Image courtesy of iStockPhoto, iwan_drago
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Posts by Joel Falconer

Monday, June 30, 2008

HUMOR: A Girls' Night Out

This is an old email sent to me by The Sassy Witch.

WARNING: Contains adult material. - OlderMusicGeek

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee. So they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it. So she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home. The next day, one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over,. So he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said.....

''From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

HUMOR: A Rough Night after Drinking

This was sent to me by Ernest T Spoon. - OlderMusicGeek

Nick the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Pat."

Pat replies, "OK Nick, I'll be on my way then."

Pat spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

Cursing, he pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.

Cursing, he looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.

"I am so drunk," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says "No way!" He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.

Cursing, he falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jes, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Pat. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Pat says, "I did, Jes. I was so drunk. But how'd you know?"

"Nick phoned. You left your wheelchair at the bar."

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