I found these in a Glamour magazine at work. If you want to know why I was reading Glamour, it was either Glamour or Us Weekly. I preferred Glamour. - OlderMusicGeek"I called my girlfriend's house one day and said something dirty when she picked up. 'Excuse me?' asked the voice at the other end. 'Baby, you know what I'm talking about," I said. 'You must think this is my daughter,' replied her mom. I started apologizing like crazy. When my girlfriend got on the line, she set me straight: 'Let it go. It's cool. I'm grown.' Seems like I was the only one flustered."
"I used to hoard condoms from campus safe-sex events. Once, I had a date right after one. My phone rang while we were together, and when I pulled it out of my pocket, a condom slipped out. Then I reached into my bag for something and three more fell out. And my pockets were crinkling like crazy from all the other ones I'd stuff in them. I looked like a condom pinata. Finally, I knew I had to explain that I'm too cheap to buy my own. Thankfully, she laughed."