HUMOR and SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION: Happy Birthday. December 25th Babies!

HUMOR - Happy birthday, December babies!

MY LIFE - Flashback to planning my 50th bday

ENTERTAINMENT - Special birthday today!

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 26: "Something You Ain't Got" by Cracker and other coming out of depression tunes

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, depression, like so many things, can only go on for so long, before you hit rock bottom and realize you need to do something about it.

For me, it was when I was almost evicted out of my apartment because it had become such a mess and disaster zone.

That's when I got on anti-depression and made sure to stay in therapy.

It was a slow recovery, but it was a recovery.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of depression recovery songs including Cracker's "Something You Ain't Got":

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 25: "Violet" by Hole and other angry depression songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Didn't realize I put so many songs about my depression on here. But I guess it and the divorce were the biggest and most traumatic part of my life.

Well, don't worry. We get into the recovery after this!

But one part they don't talk much about in depression is the anger. You do feel sad and lethargic. But there's also anger. Anger from the frustration of being stuck.

So these songs cover that aspect of depression.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of angry depression songs including Hole's "Violet":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 24: "From The Air" by Laurie Anderson and "Hitting The Ground" by Gordon Gano and other songs about how I felt when I was depresse

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

When I was suffering from depression, I just felt weighed down, like it was impossible and too much effort to do anything,

Life didn't seem to have much point, and spent most of my time lying on the couch sleeping or watching tv.

The apartment went to hell and we almost got evicted.

These songs capture how I was feeling at that time.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist about I felt when I was depressed including Laurie Anderson's "From The Air" and Gordon Gano's "Hitting The Ground":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 23: "Moody's Point" by Lipstick Homicide and other songs about depression

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Depression runs in my family. And it hit me hard. These songs pretty much describe how I felt when I was deep in depression.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlists of songs that describe how I felt during my depression including "Moody's Point" by Lipstick Homicide:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 22: "The Real Me" by The Who and other songs about my mental illness

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

One of the best pieces of advice that I ever got was divorce is not a cure-all. All of your problems are not solved by a divorce.

And although it did save me from my ex-wife, by escaping her, I was able to let out other demons that I had kept down and had not dealt with.

And there were a number of them: depression, crossdressing and transgenderism, addictive behavior.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs about my mental illnesses including "The Real Me" by The Who:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

If you see this, you're invited!

If you see this you're invited!

You can find all the info here - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 21: "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters and other F-U divorce songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, Day 19 dealt with the break up. Day 20 with the actual divorce.

But as Jerry Seinfeld once said, you can be all nice and civil as you want, but a relationship isn't truly over until one of you tells the other "I never want to see you again!"

And I think there's some truth to this. You need to face and deal with the anger before you can move on.

So these songs were one way I did that.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of angry divorce songs including "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters:



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 20: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba and other divorce songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

(Well, due to sickness and laziness, I'm a couple a days behind here. So I'll try to have one out in the morning and one in the evening until I catch up!)

After I finally got the brains and courage to leave my ex-wife, I went through a rough period.

She did not take me leaving her well. She did everything that she could to make it our split up as horrible and miserable as possible.

It also didn't help that I only had a couple of family members supporting me. Fortunately, my friends did have my back.

But anybody who has been divorce knows it's hard to start all over again even if it's an amiable break up.

So this song was what I called my "divorce anthem".

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs that got me through my divorce or remind me of that time including Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 19: "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads and too many songs about my failed marriage

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, after my suicide attempt, I obviously went to therapy. Trying to fix myself and my marriage.

But it was actually in couples therapy, that I realized that I didn't like or respect the woman I was married to. And I also realized that she wasn't willing to put much effort into our marriage. I was doing everything.

But because of our daughter, I tried to keep it working for a couple of years. Eventually, I figured out that both my daughter and I would happier if I left her mother.

And I was right!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist about realizing my marriage was over including Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime":



Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 18: "When It's Cold" and "Into The Blue" by Moby and other songs that describe how I felt suicidal

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I'm not proud of this fact, but I did try to kill myself once. And it wasn't a cry for help. No note. Went where it was hard to find me. The only reason I'm still alive is because I didn't take enough pills or vomited up too much of them.

Why did I try to kill myself? Even a decade later, it's to explain completely.

I mean, I obviously wasn't thinking straight.

But basically, it boiled down to this.

I was took pride in being a good husband and a good dad. And I failed on that when I cheated on my wife.

Secondly, my wife was threatening to go back to Africa with our daughter. I was transgender and Africa is very traditional. I knew I could have trouble getting custody and visitation rights there.

And thirdly, my wife outed my transgenderism to my family and friends.

So, in my crazed, depressed state of mind, I didn't see much reason to live. I failed as a father and husband. I was losing my wife. Thought I might never see my daughter again.

I was an idiot. More than a decade later, I'm happily divorced from that awful woman. I have custody of my daughter. And my daughter and I only get a few texts from her mother every few months. And I, with the help of a great therapist, decided my transgenderism was just something I went through to cope, deal, and come to terms with my feminine side.

Morale of the story: Suicide bad! Don't do it!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing

A playlist about my suicide attempt including Moby's "When It's Cold" and "Into The Blue":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 17: "Take Me To The River" by Talking Heads and other tunes about my marriage falling apart.

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

Well, I stated before, I entered into a marriage that I should have never should have entered.

And it reached a head when my wife went to visit her African home for six months.

I ended up exploring my transgender issues and cheated on my wife.

She wasn't pleased when she found out.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs about my marriage falling apart including "Take Me To The River":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE- 50 For My 50th Day 16: "Sweet Child O Mine" by Metalchi and 2 other versions

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

What can I say? I like this song, and I love this version, and it reminds me of my daughter too!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



This version plus the versions by Guns N Roses and Sheryl Crow.

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 15: "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder and other songs that make me think of my daughter

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

What can I say? The greatest day of my life, and I'm sure my wife won't be upset with me saying this, is when my daughter was born. (The day I married my current wife is a close #2!)

She can be annoying and frustrating, but I love her independent spirit and undeterred will to be herself.

And through all the up and downs in my life, she was the light that kept me going and gave me purpose.

So these songs are in honor of her.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlists of songs that make me think of my daughter including "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder:

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 14: "Ever Fallen In Love" by The Buzzcocks and other songs that describe my first marriage

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

There's no two ways around it. The first marriage was a big, huge mistake. The only good thing to come out of it was my daughter.

It was the outcome of my psychological issue and my romanticism. I was desperate to have someone and prove that I was worthy of having someone.

So I got engaged to someone the first night I met her.

Then I broke up with her five years later!

Then I met my second wife a couple of months after that. Married her four months later.

Yeah, I had issues.

And if I had gotten to know here better, I would have realized what a mistake it was.

Instead I fooled myself, and as I slowly learned my mistake, I blamed myself and tried harder to make something that never should have happen work.

Eventually, ten years later, I learned my mistake. But more on that later

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs about how I felt in my first marriage including The Buzzcocks' "Ever Fallen In Love":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 13: "African Convention" by Miriam Makeba and other African political songs

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I'm sorry about you can't live in Africa, especially next door to apartheid-era South Africa, and not feel policitical or get a sense of the politics going on in Africa.

As I told a fellow Peace Corps volunteer, "When I arrived in southern Africa, Nelson Mandela was a prisoner. Now as I leave, he's president!" His response: "Then I guess our work is done!"

These songs reflect those tumultuous political times in 1980s Africa and southern Africa.

To be honest, I'm not sorry at all about being political!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of political songs about South Africa including "African Convention":

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76

MY LIFE - 50 For My 50th Day 12: "Serengeti Long Walk" by Stewart Copeland and songs that remind what I thought about traveling Africa

For an explanation of "50 For My 50th", go here - http://oldermusicgeek.blogspot.com/2013/08/entertainment-50-for-my-50th-50-days-of.html

I was never actually at The Serengeti Plains, but this song captures some of the thoughts and feelings I had as I hitchhiked through The Kalahari Desert, rode horseback through a national park in Zimbabwe, rode through Namibia, among other places.

See these natural spectacles certainly puts you in a philosophical frame of mind. And these songs reflect that.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vn2SencrSL_0ujzefX_Bfc_j-KJhKJzSUTDJi3CiQs8/edit?usp=sharing



A playlist of songs including "Serengeti Long Walk" that show what was going through my mind as I traveled Africa :

Click the link below to listen to my monstrosity of a playlist, OlderMusicGeek's 50th B-Day, on Spotify:

http://open.spotify.com/user/127676752/playlist/1bRKV8LHJIL3JQih1ZSq76