HUMOR: Some Halloween Top 10 Lists

Surfing the net, I found these at possumsal.com. - OlderMusicGeek

Ten Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween
10. You get winded from knocking on the door
9. You have to have someone chew the candy for you
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Why Pumpkins are better than Men
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!
5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.
6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.
7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.
8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.

The Top 10 Houses to AVOID while Trick-or Treating
1. Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole.
2. Any house made of food.
3. Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement.
4. Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it.
5. Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas.
6. Any house that growls "get out."
7. Any house where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor.
8. Any house that looks like a giant pulsating orb floating 3 feet off the
ground.
9. Any house with various and extremely realistic statues in the front yard
of people in odd "running away" poses.
10. Any house that wasn't there only a minute ago...

I already posted this, but fits in, so I'm posting it again! - OMGeek

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Halloween Brings Feelings of Nostalgia

This is an article I found while on google. It's from the school newspaper, The Independent Florida Alligator. - OlderMusicGeek

Halloween brings feelings of nostalgia
By Colleen Shea

Halloween is a couple of weeks away, which means now is the time to start thinking about what we want to be on that very special day.

Halloween has always been one of the best holidays of the year, but celebrating it in college is different than it used to be when we were kids.

Over the years, the jack-o'-lanterns, glow-in-the-dark spider webs and spooky sound effects have slowly been replaced with skanky costumes and Hunch Punch.

Don't get me wrong - I love Halloween parties as much as the next person. It's just that college students seem to have forgotten the true spirit of Halloween.

Let's take a trip to a more innocent time - a time when our costumes were more than just underwear and body paint and when we dressed up in homemade costumes of our favorite, fully-clothed Power Ranger.

Figuring out what we wanted to be was still fun back then, but the real fun was trick-or-treating around the neighborhood with friends.

I don't know about you, but in the years before beer pong, the mounds of free candy were the best part of Halloween.

I'm not one to brag, but I will admit that I was pretty skillful at getting the most candy, mainly because I treated trick or treating like a covert military operation. It didn't matter if I had to suffer through rain, cold weather or blistered feet - I was absolutely determined to fill my entire bag (or pillow case) with hundreds of delicious goodies my mom would never let me eat otherwise.

After a few years of trick-or-treating in the same neighborhood, I could usually predict which houses to hit and which ones to skip. The best houses were the ones that gave out king-sized candy bars or those goody bags filled with different types of candy.

And of course, the worst houses were the ones that gave out crossword puzzles, Dum Dums and, most horrifying of all, toothbrushes.

After a long night of scurrying from house to house, I would come home and take inventory of the massive bag of candy I acquired in the span of a few hours. I usually separated and counted each piece of candy and then ranked it by order of deliciousness. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were usually first, followed by M&M's, Skittles, Butterfinger and then Twix.

After sorting and ranking the sweets, I would set up trade agreements with my brother and sister. "I'll give you five Tootsie Rolls for one Snickers," I would try to negotiate. "Six, and it's a deal" was my older sister's usual response. She was a pretty savvy 7-year-old.

One thing really scared me about Halloween, though. The haunted houses, ghost stories and cackling witches were pretty spooky, but nothing compared to my mom's warnings to watch out for needles and razors that might be lurking in my chocolate bars.

Oh, Halloween. What a great holiday. It's doubtful anyone really knows why we celebrate it, but it's great that we do. And this year, if you are stressing over which costume to choose or which liquor to buy, just relax, and remember that the party is just half the fun. The other half is being able to act like a kid again.

Colleen Shea is a sophomore majoring in journalism. Her column appears on Fridays.

CULTURE/SOCIETY: A Blogger's Look Back on Halloween

I found this Halloween post from the blog, Clawing Up from Under, when I was doing a google search. I liked it, so I'm reprinting it here. :) - OlderMusicGeek

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Boo SCARY, Veronia!

Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday, ever since I was a kid. It wasn't just the candy.

I loved thinking of a cool costume. My frugal mother didn't allow us to purchase halloween costumes -- I mean, you only wear it one night and if you're a kid, you can't fit into it next year anyway, nor would you want to be the same thing. It's just not prudent.

Forced to be creative, I came up with some pretty good stuff: mad scientist, my father, Native American Princess (complete with felt headband and feathers), a superhero that I made up, a powdered egg (I used a sheet and stuffed it with pillows, and then dumped baby powder all over my head), and of course, a witch -- the ghastlier the better.

I think my favorite part of Halloween was trick or treating with my Dad. It wasn't JUST the candy (although that was of course, key) it was stomping through our neighborhood...AT NIGHT. Growing up in New England I can't speak for the rest of our fair country, but New England Autumn nights are just creepy. There's bats. There's a lot of darkness (not a lot of street lights and NO sidewalks where I grew up). There's odd noises of the nocturnal creatures, and of course, centuries of ghosts and legends and supersitions that have sunk deep into the land only to wait all year to ooze upwards around mid-September.

The coup de grace was our next door neighbor's driveway. It was TOTALLY dark, gravel, and about a 1/2 mile back from the road to the house, surrounded by thick unspoiled woods on either side all the way down. The house itself was a converted barn -- the neighbors were muckity-mucks in New York City. In fact, the five houses on that side of the street were all built on the same farm land (including ours) in the 50's, and the barn was the farm's barn until it was remodeled.

Their property had another barn just for his cars, and a horse stall and corral. For a few years they had two horses that I used to feed long grass to, I'd cut through the woods between our houses and stand on the outside of the corral fence and pray that Barney or Captain would notice me.

Our neighbors were really nice, and knew their driveway was super spooky, so they used to give out FULL SIZE Hershey bars on Halloween, to reward our bravery for walking down there. It was a lot easier to be brave with my father holding my hand, but my brother and I (and my sister when she was finally old enough) always saved our next door neighbor's driveway for last.

One year the neighbors hired a few high school kids to hide behind the horse stall and jump out at the trick or treaters. I almost DIED when they did that, because for years we walked down there with no incident. The two dudes jumped out wearing sheets, like ghosts, and I screamed louder than I thought possible and flung my arms around my Dad -- unfortunately, I was STILL holding my pillowcase full of candy, which swung around my father to hit my sister full in the face, knocking her four-year-old butt to the ground.

Years later during my foray in to paganism, I found that Halloween (and All Saint's Day, in my church) was a pretty big holiday -- Samhain -- when the curtain between the living and dead was thinnest. This resonates with me because I can FEEL it. I know that Christianity co-opted a lot of pagan beliefs to draw them into the church, for why else would we honor our dead on November 1st, the day after "All Hallow's Eve"? I loved disguising myself and trying to see how scared I can be without completely freaking out.

I think I'm more scared this year than any other. I brought my guys to the local Party Depot to go Halloween costume shopping after a failed attempt to get them to create their own costumes with what we had around the house. TSW insisted on something Star Wars, and RSW chose to be a vampire -- all he wanted was some fangs and fake blood because we have a creepy vampire cape and medallion already.

I was wandering around the costumes while the boys were doing their thing and a dawning horror overcame me when I realized that every single costume I saw for women and EVEN for little girls were, frankly, sexy. I would rather die than let my niece or daughter (if I had one) wear something like this. This isn't cute -- it's SEXY. Halloween is supposed to be a time where it's OK to be ugly or creepy or scary or gross. I don't think a girl should feel pressure to be this Vampira sex kitten at age 9!!!

The adult costumes are worse -- they all seem like naughty fantasy wear from Fredericks of Hollywood! Naughty Nurse, Jail bait, vampire, sexy glittery witch -- everything involves short skirts, mad cleavage, and fishnets. Naturally, the plus size section is slightly LESS overtly sexy, and more expensive.

When did this happen, and where was I? Two years ago I dressed up with the boys to go trick or treating. I bought a long black wig, put white goth makeup on my face and lined my eyes with red and black -- I was a zombie. RSW said he couldn't look at me because I was creeping him out. The Sigoth dressed accordingly, complete with top hat, cane, and cape.

My age is showing because I feel like Halloween is messed up. It's not supposed to be a time to out-sexy each other. It's supposed to be a time to delve into the dark and mysterious, the frightening and sacred. It's time to feel the earth slowly dying as winter approaches. It's time to gather around and tell creepy stories and listen to the night sounds and feel the finger of fear tickle the back of your neck. It's time to jump out at each other and giggle insanely in relief that it's NOT your worst nightmare, just your brother. It's time for cider and walking on crunchy leaves and smell the smells of Fall for the short time they're in the air.

I'm no prude, and I'm not nay saying anyone's personal choice to costume themselves however the heck they want, but I think this crap is ridiculous. Especially for the little girls -- they're only little for such a short time, why sex them up? What is this teaching them? Why can't they wear something that isn't so GIRLY? Why aren't they offering something creepy, like zombie or alien or mummy for them? Why does everything have to be so friggin' "pretty"? Can't girls be scary too?

Why is it that I don't remember such overtly girly things when I was that age? Witches back then were ugly. You'd think with all we know, and several waves of feminism it would be better, not worse.

I'm full of crap though, because my costume this year is a simple pair of devil horns. I'll wear street clothes and devil horns peeking up through my hair. They're red, and glittery.

posted by Laura Bora from Bufadora at 10:50 AM 7 comments click here to email

A link to all the Halloween posts on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Stuff

HUMOR: Why Trick Or Treating is Better than Sex

This is an email I got from The Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Worker. - OlderMusicGeek