You call me Frank. It just easier. People think me called Frankenstein because of doctor who make me. But me not him. Me his monster. Me get called Frankenstein so much that me make peace with it. Better though just call me Frank.
It funny story how me end up doing trick-or-treating this year with nephew Kevin. Kevin not really nephew, but he call me Uncle Frank because his dad-creator, Dave, is close friend. Frank best man at Dave’s wedding, to Tracy. Tracy sometimes a bit much to take, but Frank try to get along with her. Before Halloween, Dave say he taking Tracy out of town. Need to have day to “talk about us,” so they ask Frank to take quote-unquote nephew to trick-or-treating. “Frank already have costume,” they joke. Tracy make joke sound mean. Me agree to go, because me care for quote-unquote nephew Kevin...
At next house, nice old lady answer door and give Kevin Tootsie Roll. She say Frank’s costume good. Dave tell me this would happen because Frank’s clothes look like costume. Jacket tattered, but Frank always say comfort over fashion. So me thank old woman (maybe witch or maybe just also bad fashion sense). Kevin say thank you, too...
At last house, young couple say bolts in Frank’s neck look real. Frank smile polite but couple reach out to touch bolts. Frank get scared and kill couple. Feel sad but was only thing Frank could do...
To read full piece - http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/frankensteins-monster-goes-trick-treating
BLOOMFIELD, MI—Noting that she had left earlier and would probably be gone for most of the evening, household sources confirmed Wednesday that local mother Diane Walsh has got her thing tonight.
According to Walsh family members, this is the same thing that Mom had mentioned something about at breakfast yesterday. Several reports also indicated that Mom usually goes to the thing with her friends from high school or maybe those ones from work.
“She’s usually there for a few hours,” said daughter Christina Walsh, 15, adding that tonight’s thing is definitely different from that other thing she does once in a while. “It’s at the community center or YMCA or something like that.”
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-moms-got-her-thing-tonight,35446/
