HUMOR - Honest Music Festival Commercial

MY LIFE: My dog getting to know me too well!

HUMOR: The sporks of society!

http://nicklavin.deviantart.com/art/Sporks-of-Society-304707405

ENTERTAINMENT: The Avengers Craig McCracken style!

http://wilwheaton.tumblr.com/post/25460859714/love-this

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Question From FormSpring.Me - If you eliminated one thing you do each day in the bathroom so you never did it again, what would it be

If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so you never had to do it again, what would it be?

shave - it's the one thing that's really putting a damper on my transition from male to female!

Ask me anything

HUMOR: Sending A Message

A joke sent to me long ago by The Sassy Witch. - OlderMusicGeek

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,

"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

ON ANOTHER BLOG: "PERSONALITY: Scattergories Quiz" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Tests And Quizzes (just click here)

HUMOR: Some Halloween Comics

Here are some comics Ernest T Spoon sent me for Halloween. - OlderMusicGeek

CULTURE/SOCIETY: A Mother's Day With Kids And A Cat

This a little late, but my computer was down. I got this from my mother. I don't know if this is real or not. Tried to look it up on the internet, but I couldn't find it. Supposably, Ellen DeGeneres read it on her show. - OlderMusicGeek

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

Well, we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES IT. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up.

Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped.

And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

A link to all my Mother's Day posts

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Just Some Toilet Humor

These are some photos forwarded to me in the email. I put all the toilet-related photos I've gotten in a video. - OlderMusicGeek

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Painted Bathroom Floor

This is an ancient email sent to me by The Sassy Witch. - OlderMusicGeek


*IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY on the tenth floor....*

*YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING......(not that you would...)*

*AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM.... *

*You open the door.... **

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Public Restroom Joke

An email I got from Ernest T Spoon. - OlderMusicGeek


This could happen to you.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
"No.......I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

ENTERTAINMENT: Halloween Comic

Here's a comic my girlfriend, The Sassy Witch, sent me. Happy Halloween!

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Male Restroom Etiquette

A long overdue video has finally been made! - OlderMusicGeek



There's only two things missing in this video.

1. Not enough stress on washing your hands.

I mean I don't know how many times I've seen or heard men leaving without washing their hands. I mean, think! What's on your hands, guys?! You really want to touch people with those hands? Or you think people want to be touched by you, or touch anything you touched?

and 2. Throw your paper towels in the trash can, and your toilet paper in the toilet.

I worked in restaurants and stores when I was younger, and I had to clean both rest rooms. The women's rooms were never much work. But the men's room would always have paper towels all over the floor, especially near the trash cans. And little pieces of toilet paper would be around the stalls.

I mean, com'on! If a dork like me with no hand-eye coordination and no athletic skills can get the paper towel in garbage can and the toilet paper in the toilet, I don't know what's the problem with the rest of you guys.

Okay, I'm not the cleanest guy in the world, but this is stuff that really shouldn't be left out and about.

HUMOR: Difference Between Women And Men

This is another email sent to me by girlfriend, The Sassy Witch. Hope you enjoy it. - OlderMusicGeek

1.NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3.MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale

4.BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items

5.ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7.FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8.SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9.MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.

10.DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11.NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12.OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Guys Rules

My girlfriend, the Sassy Witch (formally referred to as "the Beatnik Witch") sent me this. I pass it on as a favor to my fellow males. - OlderMusicGeek

Guys' Rules

At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules -

1. Men ARE not mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight!

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.