HUMOR: Scientists tell us why the chicken crossed the road...

Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

http://oldermusicgeekon.tumblr.com/post/39436958451/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road

HUMOR: Choose your lovers wisely!

HUMOR: So that's why he hides the eggs!

HUMOR: Bad Halloween Jokes

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

What do you call a ghost's mother and father?
Transparents

What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo

What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-Lantern?
With a pumpkin patch

What did the wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs

What happened to the guy who didn't pay his exorcist?
He was repossessed

Where does a werewolf go to college?
At the moon-iversity

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend

Mask Pun

My son-in-law Matt has a great-looking Darth Vader mask. One year at Halloween, a friend asked if he could borrow it. Matt agreed, and on Halloween night, his friend came by to pick it up. Matt was surprised that his friend was dressed in his usual attire of jeans and a flannel shirt, with the addition of a black cowboy hat.

"Where's your costume?" Matt asked.

"This is it," his friend replied.

"Well, what are you supposed to be?" Matt inquired.

His friend answered, "Darth Brooks."

A link to other Halloween posts on my blog

HUMOR and SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION: Two Jesus Jokes, One Bunny Joke and a Video about "That Darn Jesus"

I meant to post this yesterday, but my daughter got a video game - so I didn't stand a chance!

This is from me, not reprinted from somewhere else. Though I didn't make up the jokes. :) WARNING: Jesus is used for humor here and some sexuality is suggested. - OlderMusicGeek.

Jesus is up on the cross.
He looks in the distance. Then looks at Peter.
"Peter, you got to come up here."
So Peter rushes for the cross.
A Roman punches him in the nose and knocks him down.
"Peter, you really got to get up here!"
Peter rushes again. He ducks under the fist of the guard.
But another guards comes and smacks him back with a spear.
"No, Peter, I mean it. You have get over here."
Peter rushes once more. Ducks under the fist and jumps over the spear. A third guard comes, but he slides between the legs.
He scrambles to Jesus hanging on the cross.
Anxiously, he looks up at Jesus and asks, "Yes, Lord, what is it?"
"Peter, look," Jesus says pointing with his head. "You can see your house from here!"

This next joke is visual, so I filmed it...
Q: Why did they crucify Jesus instead of stoning him?
A: Because it's easier to do this... than this.

I actually got this one from my mother - though I don't think she'd approve of the above jokes or the video below. :)
Q: Why does The Easter Bunny hide the eggs?
A: Because he doesn't want anybody to know he's doing the chicken!

And finally the video about that darn Jesus. I don't believe the beginning part is true. I looked it up on the internet and couldn't find anything. Plus, the station has FIVE call letters. Makes it doubt the authenticity of the beginning statement.


A link to all my Easter posts