HUMOR - Family Knows Better Than To Fall For Mom’s Little Bullshit Speech About No Presents This Year

RICHMOND, VA—Saying that several of them had learned the hard way, members of the Gordon family confirmed to reporters Friday that they knew damn well not to believe Mom’s little bullshit speech about not giving gifts this Christmas. “She doesn’t mean a goddamn word of it,” said Alex Gordon, 32, one of Ellen Gordon’s three adult children, all of whom agreed that you’d have to be pretty fucking thick if you didn’t see right through her little song and dance about just enjoying each other’s company without the expense and obligation of giving presents. “She says this every year, but forget that—of course she wants to do gifts. Can you imagine the look on her face if there actually wasn’t anything under the tree and we just sat around empty-handed like a bunch of assholes? No way is that happening.” Gordon added that he and his siblings were taking their mom’s suggestion that they could leave on Christmas Day if the ticket was cheaper for the utter horseshit that it is.

Original site - http://www.theonion.com/articles/family-knows-better-than-to-fall-for-moms-little-b,37673/

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Too Many Quizzes Testing One's Evilness

Raw evil score: 17.78%
What Kind of Evil Are You?

How evil are you?

You Are 44% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

YOU ARE SOME WHAT NOT EVIL

YOU ARE NOT EVIL AND EVIL SHALL CONQUER THE WORLD SOMEDAY AND DESTROY LIGHT
How evil do you think you are?

According to experts, I am : 38% Evil Take the Evil Quiz at JokesUnlimited.com

You unfortunately do not possess the necessary qualities to be an evil super villain. Please continue with your studies and apply again next year.
EVIL QUIZ



You're barely evil at all.

You? evil? Ha. Nobody's perfect, but you're one of the least evil people who've ever taken this quiz. If you're feeling guilty about something, it's probably only because you momentarily stopped petting a kitten to answer those questions. You would never be intentionally cruel to an animal, a friend, or even a stranger. Reading this quiz is probably the closest you've come to having an evil thought. We don't want you focused on evilness any longer than necessary, so please go back to what you do best -- spreading joy and sunshine throughout the land.
How Evil Are You?

HUMOR: Why Trick Or Treating is Better than Sex

This is an email I got from The Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Worker. - OlderMusicGeek