HUMOR: Sending A Message

A joke sent to me long ago by The Sassy Witch. - OlderMusicGeek

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,

"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Candy Heartfelt Expressions

Well, I heard a report on NPR on about those little hearts with messages that are sold so often on Valentine's Day. But I can't find the NPR report, so instead you get this piece! - OlderMusicGeek

Thursday, February 12, 1998
THE POST
Athens, Ohio
An Independent Daily Newspaper
Ohio University

Candy Hearts Updated
by Caroline Broder

E-mail me. Be my Icon. Fax me. Even the little pastel candy conversation hearts that have long been a Valentine's Day tradition are keeping pace with the times.

This year, the New England Confectionary Company decided it was time to update the old sayings of love that the sugary confections used to bear and added eight new sayings. Among the new sentiments are "Sister Friend," "Web Site," "www.cupid," and "You Go Girl."

"We are trying to keep up with the times," said Walter Marshall, the man responsible for writing conversation heart sayings for NECCO.

Marshall, who will appear on the Rosie O'Donnell show Friday, added the high-tech line of sentiments two years ago for the Cambridge, Mass. based company.

The company, which started making conversation hearts in 1902, currently has 100 ways to say I love you. The conversation heart, invented by Daniel Chase, used to bear messages like "if you dress in white, you married right."

During the 1960s, "Groove Me," "Dig Me," and "Hubbahubba," were popular. But some sayings like "Be Mine" and "Be True," have stayed through the ages, Marshall said.

Today, the hearts are the largest selling Valentine's Day candy. Marshall said the company turns out 8 billion pieces of the pastel hearts every year. If measured, he said the candy would stretch 32,000 miles.

Because the candy's popularity has increased in the last six to seven years, Marshall said he constantly gets suggestions for new sentiments. He said the most popular suggestions have been "Phat," "Hottie," "You're da Bomb," and "Safe Sex."

But Marshall insists "safe sex," will never make it onto the sugary treats.

"We won't do naughty hearts," he laughed.

In the next few weeks, Marshall, who is known as the "King of Hearts," will be picking a new line-up of sayings for next year's hearts.

"How many ways can you say I love you?" he asked. "We have to find new ways."

A link to the original article

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Rejected heart sayings from BadCupid.com...

WARNING: Some naughty language is used.







A link to BadCupid.com

A link to Valentine's Day blogs

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Weird Search Engines that Bring Up My Site

Well, once again, I've had really weird search engines bring up my website. So I figured why not share in the weirdness and humor. I put it from what I found the least weird to the weirdest.

10. what's the highest speed the cars went in 1941?
9. GOOD pictures of economical stuff in Ecuador
8. ellipse stuff in our every life
7. Bueno chocolate bars washington d.c.
6. why did bankers wear green visors
5. examples of flirtatious sms by married men (I looked "sms" up on dictionary.reference.com. I got two answers, but I think this is "short message service" - some sort of cell phone thing.)
4. Vancouver's prostitutes dead in trash compactors
3. girl grope greats
2. a picture fat stupid guys in their underwear
1. When you have sex with an animal. Does the Bitch have Babies?

If anyone has any idea why these would bring up my blog, I would love to hear it!