MY LIFE - Of work, monkeys, and poop!

HUMOR - What am I? What am I?

CULTURE/SOCIETY - A true story of friendship and more!

HUMOR: This is for real! From my Groupon newsletter!

http://touch2.groupon.com/deals/drive-a-tank-5?c=deal_img&d=deal-page&date=20130225&division=des-moines&mobile=true&p=1&s=body&sid=1824b221-ec16-4283-a3d2-afe5983380cf&user=20ee0d91d9c8b8053b283ae3bfa0f6a2a695e30fdcee333691c84604f9daafb1&utm_campaign=drive-a-tank-5&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter

HUMOR: The most ridiculously misguided observances of Martin Luther King Day.

Guess we all have our own way of revering a fallen civil rights pioneer. As the party invites and sale ads below would indicate, one man's solemn observance is another man's extra night to hit the strip club. But a 3-day weekend is a 3-day weekend after all, so if you aren't spending the holiday shopping the sales or sleeping off a hangover, spend some time perusing these wonderfully failed attempts at observing Martin Luther King Day.

http://www.happyplace.com/13372/10-ridiculously-misguided-observances-of-martin-luther-king-day

ENTERTAINMENT: Adding Monsters to Thrift Store Paintings

http://imgur.com/a/v49Ui

SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY: Man outsources own job and surfs web at work

What began as a company's suspicion that its infrastructure was being hacked turned into a case of a worker outsourcing his own job to a Chinese consulting firm, according to reports that cite an investigation by Verizon's security team. The man was earning a six-figure salary.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/01/16/169528579/outsourced-employee-sends-own-job-to-china-surfs-web

ENTERTAINMENT: Why the government refuses to build a Death Star! Gah!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/response/isnt-petition-response-youre-looking

ENTERTAINMENT: The 15 Best Songs That Are Totally About Masturbation

Prostitution may be the oldest profession, but masturbation is the oldest pastime. And while there are many memorable cinematic masturbation scenes-a quick polling of CRACKED deskies produced titles like Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Porky's and American Beauty-only CRACKED intern Ryan Grim could come up with a single song on the topic, and he was masturbating when we asked him. In other words, the Internet could use a definitive list of songs that are totally about masturbating.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15114_the-15-best-songs-that-are-totally-about-masturbation.html

SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION: 12 APOSTLES APPEAR ON 12.12.12

The Apostles told customers that 12.12.12 is a holy day for Christians because it honors – them. ”We don’t get as much credit as we should. Jesus would be nothing without us. It’s kind of like a rock band. The lead singer gets all the credit, but we’re just as important,” said Simon.

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/53332/12-apostles-appear-on-12-12-12/

ENTERTAINMENT: Charlie Brown at the apocalypse!