CULTURE/SOCIETY - How to Celebrate the Festival of Sleep Day

The Festival of Sleep Day was created for people that would like to get some "shut eye" and relaxation after the holidays. After the Christmas shopping and present opening deadlines and the New Year celebrations, it's time to celebrate -- in "Sleep Land". Observe this wacky and unofficial holiday on January 3rd.

http://m.wikihow.com/Celebrate-the-Festival-of-Sleep-Day

CULTURE/SOCIETY:OlderMusicGeek's Parent's Guide To Stress Relief

This is from, and is NOT some reprinted material. - OlderMusicGeek

At my work, we were given a form on how to deal with stress. I said as parents, some of us knew how to deal with stress. So with my help of a couple of my co-workers, I present OlderMusicGeek's Parent's Guide To Stress Relief.

If the other person is stressed -
- Get over it!
- Deal!
- Cope!
- Wah wah wah oh boo hoo hoo!
- Suck it up, nancy boy!
- You want something to cry about?!
- You know what will take your mind off that? housework!
- Well maybe if you didn't (fill in the blank), it never would have happened!
- If you would (fill in the blank) like i told you, that never would have happened!
- If you'd act more like (fill in the blank), you wouldn't have these problems!
- Maybe if you'd learn to act like a human being...?
- Maybe if you didn't act like a complete maniac...?

Or if you want take a more sympathetic route -
- You think that's bad, you should hear what happened to me when i was your age!

If you're the one who's stressed -
- You know it looks like a good day to play outside. I don't care if the wind chill is negative, bundle up!
- You haven't played with so-and-so in a long time.
- I'll get to that soon as I'm down with this important work on the computer. I don't care if it looks like such-and-such a game.
- This can't wait until my nap is over. So what? I sleep with the tv on!

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Predictions Of Death

Dan: At age 69, the artificial intelligence software you programmed becomes self aware and devours you. You will be saved to disk though, so no worries.

OlderMusicGeek: At age 92, you will die from wounds delivered by a blender after trying to make your sixteenth margarita of the day. (And it's on 3:00pm, shame on you!)

OlderMusicGeek's daughter: At age 62, your prototype flying machine will work, and while aloft on its maiden voyage a passenger jet will take you into it's jet engine, and throw you out as a mist.

OlderMusicGeek's cat: At age 38, you will be hit by a train while napping on the railroad tracks.

OlderMusicGeek's readers: At age 9, your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours!

YOU!: At age 14, aliens will abduct you and use your body for sick and often anally-oriented experiments before dropping you off outside of a local homeless shelter smelling of beer.

For your own prediction - http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

A link to other Halloween posts on my blog

CULTURE/SOCIETY: A Mother's Day With Kids And A Cat

This a little late, but my computer was down. I got this from my mother. I don't know if this is real or not. Tried to look it up on the internet, but I couldn't find it. Supposably, Ellen DeGeneres read it on her show. - OlderMusicGeek

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

Well, we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES IT. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up.

Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped.

And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

A link to all my Mother's Day posts

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Signs You're Getting Older

More cleaning out of my emails.

Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
"I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
You're the one calling the police because those dang kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your soul.