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Friday, September 19, 2008

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Aarrrrrrrrgh! 'Tis International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

This be from me, 'n' not be some reprinted piece. - Dirty Sam Read of the good ship, The Hate Of The West (aka OlderMusicGeek)

My pirate name is:

Dirty Sam Read

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org net

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Ahoy, mateys! And welcome abroad another glorious International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Yes, it once ag'in be that glorious day for pirates, Pastafarians, ngd's (nerds/geeks/dorks) and jest fun-lovin' people everywhere!

So grab yer pantaloons, yer scarfs and yer fruity shirts! 'N' git out thar and be speaking like a true pirate!

A link to the official Talk Like A Pirate Day home page
A link to the pirate name generator
A link to Long John Silver sound clips

CULTURE/SOCIETY: Two Pirate Personality Tests

You are The Pirate

Do you remember the last time you took a chance? It was when you decided to leave the security of your mother's womb and headed for the bright light. It's time to head for the next bright light, my friend. Creativity is not your strong suit. You are good at doing what you are told to do and that, in itself, is a gift. It's not a gift to you, mind you, but a gift to those who will be there to tell you what to do. You like long walks on the beach and cuddling, but would never admit that to your pirate pals who think you are okay but can't always remember your name. Tapioca pudding seems a bit extreme for someone such as yourself, what with all the bumps and stuff. It's a good thing you are on a pirate ship, otherwise, you would be walking because you are positively pedestrian. Have a nice day.

What's Yer Inner Pirate? brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

Look Who's A Pirate!
You Are:
Mad Tom Storm
(formerly known as OlderMusicGeek)

Shiver me timbers, you're known as "The Pirate Who Couldn't Pour Piss Out Of A Boot With The Instructions Written On The Heel." In other words, you're completely incompetent and would have been better off as a gardener, or interior decorator.

We've created 772 Pirate identities.

The Pirate Generator

Be sure to visit the great folks at
Talk Like A Pirate Day
when you're done here!

CULTURE/SOCIETY: A Pirate Translation

This har post be by me, not som' reprinted piece. - Dirty Sam Read aka Mad Tom Storm aka OlderMusicGeek.

If ye be readin' my blog afore, ye be knowin' me interest in the language of pirates! I be supplyin' a numb'r of translations afore, so I be givin' ya all anot'er. This har is Hamlet's siloquy translated to Pirate speak. I be havin' halp from this har translator - Talk Like A Pirate Day translator.

A sea dog says 't this way:
Ta be, or nay t' be--that be th' question:
Whether `tis nobler in th' head t' suffer
Th' slings an' arrows o' outrageous fortune
Or t' take arms against a sea o' troubles
An' by opposin' end them. T' sink t'Davy Jones' locker, t' sleep--
Nay more--an' by a sleep t' say we end
Th' heartache, an' th' chestfull o' natural shocks
That flesh be heir t'. `Tis a consummation
Devoutly t' be wished. T' sink t'Davy Jones' locker, t' sleep--
T' sleep--perchance t' dream: ay, thar`s th' rub,
Fer in that sleep o' Davy Jones' locker what dreams may come
When we be havin' shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. Thar`s th' respect
That makes calamity o' so long life.
Fer who would bear th' whips an' scorns o' time,
Th` oppressor`s wrong, th' proud man`s contumely
Th' pangs o' despised love, th' law`s delay,
Th' insolence o' office, an' th' spurns
That patient merit o' th` unworthy takes,
When he hisself might his quietus make
Wi' a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
T' grunt an' sweat under a weary life,
But that th' dread o' somethin' after Davy Jones' locker,
Th' undiscovered country, from whose bourn
Nay traveller returns, puzzles th' will,
An' makes us rather bear them ills we be havin'
Than fly t' others that we know nay o'?
Thus conscience does make yeller bellies o' us all,
An' thus th' native hue o' resolution
Be sicklied o`er wi' th' pale cast o' thought,
An' enterprise o' great pitch an' moment
Wi' this regard the'r currents turn awry
An' lose th' name o' action. -- Soft ye now,
Th' fair Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all me sins remembered.
Ya landlubber!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

CULTURE/SOCIETY: PETA's New Method Of Spreading The Message

Dr Wigglebutt is responsible for showing me this quiz. Okay, I know sex sells, but I don't think this is the best way for PETA to spread their message. I guess they decided they had a bad enough reputation already! - OlderMusicGeek

I got 100 percent on the ABC Striptease Quiz!  Yoo hoo!

A link to the quiz

CULTURE/SOCIETY: My "Tweets" From Twitter

we have a heat advisory and heat index in the 100's - but i had to wear 2, yes 2, sweaters to stay warm at work. why is the a/c so high?
they set the a/c at a temperature - where if it was that temperature outside, they'd turn the heat on!
i once forgot to bring a sweater to a job in the summer, and i caught a cold. i was sniffling in 80 degree weather!
@spookychan - denial is a good thing some times :)
spookychan: @OlderMusicGeek I try not to think of losing most of my music, or otherwise i would cry. Simple denial goes a long way.
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet · Thread Show Conversation
@spookychan - i would cry if i lost that much of my mp3's! i really keep thinking of backing them up - but i still haven't!
spookychan: i'm still sad that half my mp3 collection is gone the way of the almost-dead external hard drive. :_:
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet
@killregrets -seems musical guilty pleasure night. you think britney spears is bad? i have 4, yes 4, john denver songs on my mp3 player!
killregrets: At the trocadero?? Sunset and sweetzer. They're playing britney spears. Haha. Guilty pleasure.
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

@ghoulash -nothing wrong with having muppets on your playlist. have a sesame street box set on mine! and a couple of muppets greatest hits!
Ghoulash: OK, it was bound to come out sooner or later, so ... It's true, my playlist includes Don Henley singing "Bein' Green" with the Muppets.
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

my cat is afraid of ironing boards! came in the room, stood still in terror and slowly backed out.
understanding guy i am-i chased it with the ironing board making vacuum noises. when i put it away, the cat backed up clear into the window.
too funny! daughter left spoon in ice cream. she pulled it out of fridge-her tongue got stuck to the spoon! told her pour hot water on it!
@spookychan - i know what you mean about caffeine. i've quit caffeine so many times, i feel like a professional caffeine quitter!
spookychan: @Patrick_McEvoy i did succumb to my lord and master caffeine. I am but it's humble slave- as it always takes my money. >=3
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet · Thread Show Conversation
finally got the leak in my car fixed and what happens? the gears die! argh! i hate jack archer on arthur avenue just off se 14th st in dm!
i'm bigger geek and dork than i thought - a lot of people i follow on twitter have been talking about comic con!
Ghoulash: I have a sneaking suspicion that in the last hours of ComicCon, even the most die-hard fans are secretly JUST DYING FOR IT TO BE ALL OVER!!!
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet
feliciaday: Gina Trapani from Lifehacker escorted me to the bathroom during Comicon as a volunteer after the Dr. Horrible panel. I'm fangeeking out!
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

feliciaday: Doing Browncoat benefit reading for charity. Last task at Comicon then browsin' time! Looking for new D&D figurine among other things.
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

feliciaday: For ComiCon folks, Kim Evey from Gorgeous Tiny will be in character signing at the Sony booth in the Exhibit Hall from 11-12:30 today!
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

iStacie: reading ComicCon LOST updates. Interesting...
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

feliciaday: http://tinyurl.com/57p23w (expand) Me on Mahalo Daily from today, first Comicon interview, can you tell I just drove 7 hours?
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

misterperturbed: Wondering if there will be any attendees at Comicon wearing Mike Grell Legion of Super-Heroes costumes. Shadow Lass, Yay!
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

Ghoulash: Envious of all the Twitterati tweeting from ComicCon.
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet

@killregrets - strangers and co-workers tell you how hot your are? and now your clients are hot too. what a life you must live! :)

killregrets -I was voted in school to have the "hottest clients." haha.

11:46 PM July 28, 2008 from twitterrific

@angryasianguy - "professional token asian guy"! too funny! N585582736_3366_normal
angryasianguy: @4evrmoto I am a professional token Asian guy.. LOL
about 1 month ago · Reply · View Tweet
@quietrevolution -i imagine death by glitter like a sf scene when it glows super bright-you cover your eyes-then when it stops-they're gone.
juice_brianne: tracie: "She's wearing enough body glitter to kill a horse." I want to know what a death-by-glitter would look like. Just. Too. Sparkly.
05:15 PM July 28, 2008 from web

i never learn. always after taking the car to a shop, i decide to walk to work cus it's only a mile away. and EVERY freaking time, it rains!
@juice_Brianne- i meant that I-me-myself didn't see you replied - us showing how much i-me-myself wanted to be on your list! Brianne Sanchez juice_brianne @OlderMusicGeek I thought I did! Got to start the Register folks off easy, with people they know, I think.

Post On Another Blog

"COMICS, MOVIES and TELEVISION/VIDEOS: Triumph, The Insult Dog, At ComicCon" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Entertainment Stuff

Saturday, September 13, 2008

SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY and HUMOR: If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

My friend, , sent me this joke. It from The Linux Gazette. - OlderMusicGeek

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

Different versions of this joke have been floating around the net for the past couple years, but I found this one especially hilarious. It was found by Bruce Kingsland. The original author is unknown.

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.


Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

A link to the original web page
A link to the The Linux Gazette

Saturday, September 06, 2008

CULTURE/SOCIETY: My "Tweets" From Twitter

juice_brianne - @OlderMusicGeek I thought I did! Got to start the Register folks off easy, with people they know, I think.

@juice_brianne - didn't see you responded to my quip of not including me on list of twitters to follow - see how important it was to me!

when leaving africa, i told a friend that mandela was in prison when i got there and was now president-he quipped that our work was done!

blog on mandela memories when living near south africa-http://tinyurl.com/57fua7

somebody's been staying too late too many nights at a work. there was a mattress in garbage bin at work!

@istacie - pandora rules! i even got my daughter into it - and she think it's great! and she doesn't think much of my stuff is great!

istacie - loving Pandora

yay! washed clothes and blankets today! haven't put any away... but they're washed. and i got back in time for my guest who didn't show!

overheard at work yesterday-"he doesn't have any hair to pull!" "bet he does..." "not going there!" i told the co-worker that she's evil!

hey, it's ntate madiba's birthday! if anyone deserves a long life, he does! heck just to make up for 27 years in prison!

since i don't know zulu, i'll have to use sesotho - likhomo tseo le manamane a tsona!

can tell LOTS of young people use twitter. they've all seen dark knight on the first night! i haven't even seen iron man!

@duanewilliams - there's still places you can go without technology. technology isn't far away, but most of the people can't afford it! duanewilliams - @c0nt0iswayne, where can one go in the world and escape technology? And why would one want to do that? Tyler won't be able to call you?

yay! my zune is working! and only after 2 or 3 hours on the phone with the zune people! never again! the next one is an ipod!

@sushiday - grey hair at 21? that's what college will do to you! sushiday - Just found my first grey hair. At the ripe old age of... 21. *sigh*

left my webcam out and my daughter found it. less than a day later, it's broken!

let our cat in the apartment building hallway when i wash clothes, but she knows that soon as the washer starts to go back in the apartment!

other day, our cat was in the hall. my daughter yelled "in" at it. it looked at her like she was crazy. i yelled "in" and the cat zoomed in!

@juice_brianne - congrats on you and joe getting the apartment and taking the big step! good luck! juice_brianne - JOE AND I GOT THE APARTMENT!!!
quietrevolution - @OlderMusicGeek I am still working on figuring out what makes some music, such as much of the Clashs timeless, so my bands can copy! SEH =A+
juice_brianne - @oldermusicgeek Aw, don't be sore! just trying to teach the register people about this

last week, someone said i was tired on saturday-4th of july was friday-and sick monday and tuesday. asked if i had an internet hottie!

i told her that i did have an internet hottie, but that angeline and i were trying to figure out how to break it to brad!

daughter said, "no offense, dad, but i don't think you could get someone like angeline jolie." she doesn't like overweight data entry folk?

@juice_brianne - you didn't recommend following me! i'm so crushed!

@quietrevolution -great song for a fave. i think my fave clash song is safe european home. i just love the harmonies and how it still rocks! quietrevolution - Hes in love with rocknroll woaahh Hes in love with gettin stoned woaahh Hes in love with JOI G But he dont like his boring job, no. Fav song

juice_brianne - @reg_jennifer I recommend following @DMRegister, @dmjuice, @kmunson, @notcarol, @cynthiareynaud for starters! A link to my Twitter page

Monday, September 01, 2008

ENTERTAINMENT: Batman And Superman Text-Message In Heaven

This is from a blog that read when I have time to read blogs, Serious/Silly. - OlderMusicGeek

it was just another day, like any other day. something good was going on somewhere. something bad was going down somewhere too. like a tale of two cities, or a hidden identity. something with teeth waiting beneath the rainbow. last week's humidity had finally dispelled and the afternoon was warm, but nice. bordering just on being hot, threatening to push that edge in an hour or two. suddenly:

'hey. what r u up to?' a familiar question in an unfamiliar voice. i knew what was going on here.

'are you looking for ashley?'

ashley had been taunting me from somewhere beyond. the most quotidian of things were repeatedly besmirched by the spectre of her past. ordering pizza. reading a book. enjoying the outdoors. she never showed up, but was always there, lurking, a threat not-quite promised, a scythe never quite swinging.

'yes. who is this?'

'not ashley.' i thought that would scare off the ghost.

'then who is this?' 'i mean like what is ur name?'

i threw the phantom a handful of misdirection: 'i'm the joker. or maybe i'm batman. it's so hard to tell the difference these days...'

i waited, biding the minutes to see if my ruse were uncovered.

'o i c. in that case i am super man.'

clark, despite his failings, is an impeccable typist - years of working for a newspaper will do that to a guy. not only would he never misspell his own name, he would never resort to the crass aberrations found so frequently in text-speak.

'you got it, supes.' i thought again this would deter my assailant.

'lol ya what are you doin batty.' clark always calls me 'bats.' interesting. there's only one man on the planet who calls me batty to my face. the crown prince of crime. the master of mayhem. the one-man insane clown posse: the joker.

now that i knew who i was dealing with, i ended our discussion. for all his razzle-dazzle and his chaos, the joker is little more than a lunchroom bully: if you don't let him bait you, he'll leave you alone. and usually gotham as well.

then, this morning, after hours of silence:

'hey what r u doin'

damn. he's a relentless clown. i answered honestly, letting him know i knew who he was: 'getting some sleep after a long night protecting the citizens of gotham.'

i waited. would i have to go back out there? would gotham once again need salvation from its own red-headed, painted-face step-child?

'o i c. i was just having some fun with mrs. superman. hahaha......'

that laugh. it haunts my dreams and my waking moments alike. i could hear it, from wherever he was, like cat-claws on a chalkboard. i know what it means: lois is in trouble...

and i gotta go to work....

A link the the original post
A link the the blog serious/silly

Post On Another Blog

"PERSONALITY TRAIT: Naming Personality" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Tests and Quizzes

HUMOR: The Prospector

This is a joke the Ernest T Spoon to me. - OlderMusicGeek

An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day. He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey, and was mighty dry.

He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance. I just never wanted to."

A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man' s feet. The old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing.

When the gunslinger fired his last bullet, he holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound. The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet. The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both barrels of the shotgun.

The old man asked, "Son, did you ever kiss a mule square on the ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No. But I've always wanted to."

The morals of this story are:
#1. Don't waste ammunition.
#2. Don't mess with old guys.

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