HUMOR - What NOT to do at a job interview

HUMOR: Facebook Barbie

ON ANOTHER BLOG: "PERSONALITY TRAIT: Are You Annoying?" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Tests And Quizzes (just click here)

CULTURE/SOCIETY and SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY: Bring Back the Busy Signal

This is a piece of Ira Flatow, the host of Talk of the Nation: Science Friday on NPR, from the Science Friday blog. I don't know if I agree with him. I know I don't feel guilty about sending people to voice mail if I'm on the phone or busy. I never take another call unless I'm sure it's important. I guess it's all how you use technology. But I thought Ira makes some good points, so I'm reprinting it here. - OlderMusicGeek

Bring Back the Busy Signal
posted by Ira Flatow on Thursday, July 12. 2007

Not too long after 9/11 , I did away with “call-waiting.” My priorities changed. I no longer felt the urgency to interrupt a perfectly good conversation with “can I put you on hold for a minute while I get this?” I could devote my total attention to the call at hand and not have to feel pressured. It made life simpler:

At first, I thought I’d have to apologize. But the very first caller applauded my decision. Instead of anger, the excited voice on the other end expressed amazement.

“You have a busy signal,” she said. “When I called and tried to get through I didn’t get your voice mail box, or a recorded message telling me to leave a message, to take a hike. I got that beep-beep-beep of a busy-signal, I hadn’t heard in years. No one has a busy-signal any more, except YOU!”

I sort of knew that when I brought back my busy signal, I’d have a lot of explaining to do. so I was ready.

“That’s right,” I said. “I disconnected my call waiting and went retro. Back to the good old days of the busy-signal.”

If you think about it, the busy-signal makes a definitive statement. It says “yes, I am here, and I am busy,” It doesn’t say “maybe I’m here, screening calls to avoid you.” It’s an honest message, refreshingly honest in this political double-talk era. The busy signal is not pretentious; it doesn’t command attention. It just does it’s job and does it well.

And much to my surprise the busy signal keeps your party interested and prepared. By attesting to the fact that you are there, literally, in your office, the busy signal reassures the caller to “just be patient, try again.” There is no ambiguity. Callers, as this one did, will sit and wait patiently knowing that there is a live body on the other end, waiting to respond. And if they really want to talk to you, they do call back.

Voice mail is a tool for deception. “Gee, I must have missed your voice mail. It never works in my office.” The busy signal takes away temptation; no need to make up a story about pushing the wrong button that “whoops” erased the caller you’re trying to avoid. And no more hating yourself for hanging up on a good call to take one that tried to enlist your vote.

The busy signal is the kind of simple technology we would have to invent if it had never existed. “Wouldn’t it be great if some genius found an automatic way of telling people I’m busy, that I can’t talk now? What a great device that would be.”

So let’s bring back the simple busy signal. It never really went away; it’s just been in storage for a few years while we went on a crazy, heads-in-the-sand binge. But our sanity is finally coming back. And it should be, too.

A link to the original piece on the Science Friday blog
A link to the Science Friday blog
A link to the Science Friday website

CULTURE/SOCIETY and HUMOR: In Praise of Older Women

The Formerly Wild Now Christian Co-Worker sent me an email praising women over 40. It was rather schmaltzy piece that Andy Rooney had supposably written. Well, I checked at Snopes.com. It turns out Andy Rooney didn't write it. When asked if he agreed with the piece, he said, "Not particularly." Now THAT sounds like Andy Rooney!

Anyway, the piece of work was actually a schmaltzification of a rather humorous and entertaining piece written by a Frank Kaiser. And I have included most of the original web page below. - OlderMusicGeek.

In Praise of
Older Women By Frank Kaiser

One of the perks of dufferdom is an increased capacity to appreciate people. Friends. Spouses. And, for me, women. All women.

When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible.

Today, at 71, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence.

But I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I've learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty.

As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:

• An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.
  
  
• An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.
  
  
• An older woman's been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!
  
  
• And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!

  Her libido's stronger.

  Her fear of pregnancy's gone.

  Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.

  And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)

• Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.

  ---

  “If the Lord made anything better than a woman, He kept it for Himself.” — Jerry Lee Lewis

---

• An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!
  
  
• Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
  
  
• Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.
  
  
• An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.
  
  
• Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.

Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.

For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 75 there's a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for my fellow geezers. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you've become. Without the distraction of some demanding old fart clinging and whining his way into your serenity.

© Copyright 2000 - 2006—Frank Kaiser

---

EDITOR'S NOTE: ON APRIL 2, 2003, I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM ANDY ROONEY OF "60 MINUTES." HE TOO HAS BEEN BOMBARDED BY E-MAIL CONTAINING THE ABOVE COLUMN SIGNED BY "ANDY ROONEY."
HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD NO IDEA HOW THIS STARTED, THAT HE IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF THIS COLUMN, THAT HE WAS HOPING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.

See the Baltimore Sun's Susan Reimer's funny column about this column.

Also see http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney2.asp

---

Of course, a celebrated encomium about older women was penned by a famous American statesman over 250 years earlier, when Benjamin Franklin wrote the piece known to us as "Old Mistresses' Apologue": June 25, 1745

My dear Friend,

I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entring into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
   
   
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
   
   
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.
   
   
4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
   
   
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
   
   
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
   
   
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
   
   
8. and Lastly They are so grateful!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely

Your affectionate Friend. B. Franklin

The original piece written by Frank Kaiser

About how the piece got attributed to Andy Rooney on Snopes.com

A Baltimore Sun article on Andy Rooney's take of all of this