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Friday, January 30, 2009
A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat
So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.
Why Geek Dudes Rule
They are generally available.
Other women will tend not to steal them.
They can fix things.
Your parents will love them.
Where The Geek Dude Lurks
The best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.
The Trek factor
If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary.
This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky - but - heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship.
I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons:
1.Howard had already thought about who she was most like.
2.He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.
3.Victoria actually knew who he meant.
4.Folks, I think this marriage will last.
One Last Thing
Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet. Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you like a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When.....
.. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
.. You personally account for more than 1% of the Gross National Product of Brazil.
.. You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
.. You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
.. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
.. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
.. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
.. Mosquitoes that bite you can fly through glass.
.. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
.. You think skydiving is just too damned slow.
.. You answer the door before people knock.
.. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
.. You can jump-start your car without cables.
.. Your urine stream bores a hole in the toilet.
.. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
.. You stand in front of the microwave oven screaming, "Hurry UP!!!"
.. You lick your coffeepot clean.
.. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
ON ANOTHER BLOG: "MUSIC: Country Music Ain't What It Used To Be" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Entertainment Stuff (just click here)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
- Canadians no longer minding being called Americans when traveling abroad…and no longer necessary to pretend you're Canadian while traveling abroad.
- Smartest guy in room now IS the President.
- Drug companies begin search for compound to relieve new health problem: people suffering from repeated, uncontrollable sighs of relief.
- Citizens find days passing by quickly in a giddy lightheaded state (“Obamaraderie”).
- Reporter-safe puppy. (Or, Barney's bites no longer make the news.)
- White House now Cheney-Free zone…except for his eighth cousin, Barack Obama.
- Having a president whose first language is English and has made a campaign promise to pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear.
- Color blind citizens not annoyed by claim “We're all color-blind now.”
- Warring African nations declare a "ceasefire minute" to celebrate.
- Excuse that lipstick on collar is from “Some teary-eyed Obama supporter in line at Grocery store” accepted at face value by spouse.
ON ANOTHER BLOG: "PERSONALITY: Another Getting To Know You Thingy" on OlderMusicGeek's Stupid Tests And Quizzes (just click here)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Share this page using one of the following services:The Ethicist
by Randy Cohen
All Things Considered, August 21, 2005 · In an age of road rage, does driving the speed limit actually put more people at risk than keeping up with the flow? Host John Ydstie parses this question with The New York Times' Randy Cohen and a concerned listener/driver.
(Turns out the guys from Car Talk think you should go with the flow. - OMGeek)
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,
"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
At my work, we were given a form on how to deal with stress. I said as parents, some of us knew how to deal with stress. So with my help of a couple of my co-workers, I present OlderMusicGeek's Parent's Guide To Stress Relief.
If the other person is stressed -
- Get over it!
- Wah wah wah oh boo hoo hoo!
- Suck it up, nancy boy!
- You want something to cry about?!
- You know what will take your mind off that? housework!
- Well maybe if you didn't (fill in the blank), it never would have happened!
- If you would (fill in the blank) like i told you, that never would have happened!
- If you'd act more like (fill in the blank), you wouldn't have these problems!
- Maybe if you'd learn to act like a human being...?
- Maybe if you didn't act like a complete maniac...?
Or if you want take a more sympathetic route -
- You think that's bad, you should hear what happened to me when i was your age!
If you're the one who's stressed -
- You know it looks like a good day to play outside. I don't care if the wind chill is negative, bundle up!
- You haven't played with so-and-so in a long time.
- I'll get to that soon as I'm down with this important work on the computer. I don't care if it looks like such-and-such a game.
- This can't wait until my nap is over. So what? I sleep with the tv on!
Monday, January 05, 2009
I was just wondering what kind of view future historians would have of the 20th century if the only material they could find was a collection of science fiction. My guess is their timeline would look something like the following.
"early in the twentieth century" - Martians invade Earth, causing severe trouble for London and England before being killed by germs. (War Of The Worlds by H.G. Wells)
1908 - The Tunguska explosion in Russia. Which aliens are behind this is strongly disputed.
1938 - The Martians invade Earth again, but in the eastern United States, and germs still kill them. (War Of The Worlds by Orson Welles and The Mercury Theater On The Air)
1940 - The Second World War starts. ("Trends" by Isaac Asimov)
1940 to 1960s - Second World War (The Shape Of Things To Come by H.G. Wells and Things To Come)
1945 - A B-29 carrying an atomic bomb, with an escort of P-51 Mustangs have a run in with a "foo fighter" at 171E 42N. Everyone crashes and sinks. The Navy sends the submarine Zeus Faber to locate the crash site, which it does, although of the crew of 144, only 7 return alive. (X-Files)
1945-1978 - post-war society takes strong swing towards religion. ("Trends" by Isaac Asimov)
1947 - An alien vessel crashes near Roswell. Who's involved and what the vessel was exactly is strongly disputed.
1947 - Deep Throat claims the Roswell Crash was a "smokescreen". He also claims that it was the source of the first alien DNA ("Erlenmeyer Flask"). He also claims that the crash prompted five nations (US, USSR, UK, Germany, PRC) to reach a secret accord that any aliens found alive would be killed - [although he has been seen referring to this as "Security Council Resolution 1013]. (X-Files)
1949 - The Martians invade again still, this time in Ecuador! And are killed by germs. (Radio Quito's War Of The Worlds)
1950s - The Martian invade once again, but in southern California this time, and once again are killed by germs. (The War Of The Worlds film)
1963-1966 - An friendly Martian anthropologist lands on Earth, befriends an Earthman and hijinks ensue. (My Favorite Martian)
1964 - Santa Claus helps save some Martians. (Santa Claus Conquers The Martians)
1966 - The Strike of '66, where the people who work on the moving roads go on strike. ("The Roads Must Roll" by Robert Heinlein)
1968 - The Martians try once more, in eastern United States again, and are killed by germs once more. (WKBW's War Of The Worlds)
1970 - England survives the global war as individual cities. The Wandering Sickness, a virus dropped by planes, is wiped out by killing the infected. (Things To Come)
early 1970s - Over 75 percent of the people living on Earth are under 21 years of age. The population continues to climb — and with it the youth percentage. (Logan's Run by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson)
1970s and 1980s - hundreds of millions of people starve to death (The Population Bomb by Paul R. Ehrlich)
1970-1980 - a space lab, lunar landing, a nuclear rocket, translating machines, gravity waves (Profiles Of The Future by Arthur C Clarke)
1972 - Astronauts Taylor, Dodge, Stewart and Landon are launched on the first Interstellar Exploration flight. (Planet Of The Apes)
1973 - The capsule from the first Instellar Exploration reappears mysteriously, within nearby space. It lands off the California coast, slightly north of San Clemente, and is met by mobilized US Navy Spaceflight Recovery crew. Capsule is found to be piloted by intelligent apes. (Escape From The Planet Of The Apes)
1973 - Jul 15th Destruction of the Prometheus. 28 people killed and 73 wounded.
1973 - Passing of the Zittman antirocketry bill. ("Trends" by Isaac Asimov)
1973 - Samantha Mulder is abducted, seemingly by aliens. Actually, she was taken by agents of Cigarette Smoking Man. Although one version of facts surrounding her life suggest that she was placed in a foster home, it is more likely that she was abducted and experimented on to try and make her into a human-alien hybrid. (X-Files)
1973-1978 - neo-Victorian Age, begins with outlawing of all rocket research. ("Trends" by Isaac Asimov) (With the information the apes brought, who could blame them?)
1974 - Federal Scientific Research Investigatory Bureau established by the Stonely-Carter bill. ("Trends" by Isaac Asimov)
1975 - A joint American-British-Russian mission goes to the moon. (Venture To The Moon by Arthur C Clarke)
1976 - The Strike of '76. The workers of the moving roads go on strike again. ("The Roads Must Roll" by Robert H Heinlein)
1978 - government outlaws all independent scientific research. ("Trends" by Isaac Asimov)
1978 - first manned rocket flight ("Trends" by Isaac Asimov)
late 1970s/early 80s - "Columbus" is built to go to the moon as an alien force, called The Overlords, come to earth and take over. But they allow to continue as before - within certain guidelines. (Childhood's End by Arthur C Clarke)
1978 - Businessman Delos David Harriman finanaces and builds the first rocket to go to the moon. ("The Man Who Sold The Moon" by Robert H Heinlein)
1980-2000 - planetary landings, personal radio (essentially a cellphone), fusion power, exobiology, cyborgs (Profiles Of The Future by Arthur C Clarke)
1980s - 79.7 percent of the people living on Earth were under 21 years of age. (Logan's Run by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson)
1982 - US Robots and Mechanical Men incorporated by Lawrence Robertson (I Robot by Isaac Asimov)
1984 - The world has divided into 3 superstates, Oceania, Eurasia, and Eastasia. After WWII, England went through a civil war and Europe, North America and Russia have had an atomic war. People are constantly monitored by two-way tv's. (1984 by George Orwell)
1987 - Deep Throat says that school children are injected with cloned alien DNA in a "southern state" (although as we know they have been being injected for far longer in Delta Glen, Wisconsin). (X-Files)
late 1980s - nuclear war (V For Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd)
1990 - The Great Depression of 1990 (The Great Depression of 1990 by Ravi Batra)
1990s - 82.4 percent of the people living on Earth are under 21 years of age. (Logan's Run by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson)
1990s - Britain is under control of a fascist government (V For Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd)
1990s - A team of Russian geologists locates rock from the Tunguska meteorite. The rock contains an organism, probably extraterrestrial in origin, that invades human bodies. It comes to be called the "Black Cancer." Russians begin perfecting a vaccination. Eventually the Conspiracy learns of its existence and begins efforts to acquire samples of the rock and organism. (X-Files)
1990-2010 - colonizing planets, artificial intelligence (Profiles Of The Future by Arthur C Clarke)
1991 - Cats and dogs have died from The Plague. Primates became the most common household animal. They now serve as slaves for the humans. (Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes)
1993-2002 - Alien invasion using shape shifters and black goo is fought by 2 FBI agents. (The X-Files)
mid- to late-1990s - The Eugenics War where genetically enhanced supermen tried to take over the world and where 37 million may have died. (Star Trek)
1996 - Robbie, a robot, made and sold to the Westons. ("Robbie" by Isaac Asimov)
1996 - An alien object, polished and tetrahedral in shape, is found on the moon. When its force field is breached, it quits giving its signal. ("The Sentinel" by Arthur C Clarke)
1998 - NYC passes ordinance to keep robots off street between dusk and dawn. ("Robbie" by Isaac Asimov)
1998 - Lefebre-Yoshida expedition to Mars from Lunar Base. Not the first attempt. ("Robbie" by Isaac Asimov)
1998 - Anarchist, V, brings about the downfall of the British fascist government. (V For Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd)
1999 - All nuclear weapons, including those on the moon, are disabled. ("The Long Watch" by Robert H Hienlien)
1999 - The world's population is 7 billion and New York City's is 35 million. Most do without much electricity or water. Eating dog is common. (Make Room! Make Room! by Harry Harrison)
1999 - Earth sends 4 missions to Mars. The first 3 being failures. The fourth mission finds the Martians killed by viruses brought by the first 3 missions. (These Martians look different than the ones that attacked us repeatedly before.) (The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury)
A Planet Of The Apes timeline
A Heinlein Future History timeline
An X-Files timeline
Thursday, January 01, 2009
A link to all my Christmas posts
Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you're celebrating!
MY CHRISTMAS INTERNET RADIO STATIONS
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Edition
OlderMusicGeek Radio - Christmas Rock and Punk Edition
OlderMusicGeek's Christmas QuickMix
powered by PANDORA
But if you don't have Pandora, you can hear some of songs at http://www.playlist.com/oldermusicgeek
Predictions on Triviagasm from the website io9.
We Will Perfect Time Travel and Upload Our Consciousness to Computers (Freejack (1992)): In 2009, we will use time travel to steal bodies from the past moments before death. The still-living bodies will then be sold to the highest bidder, who may have already uploaded their consciousness to a machine. The lucky buyer will then take over the stolen body and start life anew.
Americans Will Struggle Through a Post-Apocalyptic Existence (The Postman by David Brin (1985)): Seventeen years after an apocalyptic event, Americans will continue to live without a postal service, radio system, or central government. Instead, they will live in isolated communities, waiting for signs of civilization's return. And, in 2009, a man in a postal uniform will start visiting these communities, carrying with him what appears to be a letter from the provisional government with promises for a better future.
A link to the piece and all the movies and books it mentions
From the entry for Dark Angel...
On June 1, 2009, terrorists detonate an electromagnetic pulse weapon in the atmosphere over the U.S., which destroys the vast majority of computer and communication systems, throwing the country into utter chaos.
But here's some excerpts from an interesting piece from a 1909 article in New York Times.
The most interesting of (Jules Bois') predictions, perhaps, is that the present ideal of feminine beauty will have ceased to be held by the majority of the Caucasian race...
Further, M. Bois believes that motor cars will in a hundred years be things of the past, and a kind of flying bicycle will have been invented... Hardly anyone will remain in the cities at night. They will be places of business only. People of every class will reside in the country or in garden towns at considerable distances from the populous centres. Pneumatic railways and flaying cars and many other means of quick transit will be so developed...
"I believe," said M. Bois in conclusion, "that government by representatives bodies will be greatly modified. Nations will be governed by delegates of different castes...."
I got this from the website Paleo-Future, which describes itself as "A look into the future that never was". I think it's worth a check! I cut the article down, you can see the whole thing here.
Thomas Quotes Max Factor On The Woman Of The Future
HOLLYWOOD (A.P.) -- Fifty years from now, a woman of 50 will be just as alluring as a girl of 20.
"When my father started the company in 1909, women scarcely used cosmetics at all," (Max Factor) commented. "They pinched their cheeks to give them color. The only ones who painted their lips were women of questionable repute or theatrical types - and there was little distinction between the two.
"Gradually, the use of makeup became almost universal among women. Now girls start wearing it at 14 or younger instead of waiting until they are 18."
What about 50 years hence?
"People will be living longer. People will want to avoid the lines and sags of old age as long as possible.
"I firmly believe that in the future women of 50 years or more will look as appealing as girls of 20. We are keeping in touch with scientific experiments in Europe on youth-giving cosmetics."
Factor also foresees the extensive use of cosmetics by men 50 years from now, and for the same reason; to keep young. Men who live longer will want to work longer; hence they'll need to avoid looking aged. Among the Factor predictions: A pill which will forestall the graying of hair.
A link to the complete article on Paleo-Future
Paleo-Future's posts on the year 2009
"8 Movie Futures Already Proven Wrong" from Cracked.com
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Favorite Local Music Acts
- The Hollowmen (the best band EVER to come out of my state) on The Secret History website
- The Hollowmen (the best band EVER to come out of my state) on The Underground Archives and Network website
- Head Candy (80s local alternative rock)
- The Vandon Arms (local Celtic punk) official website
- The Vandom Arms (local Celtic punk) on MySpace
- The Vandon Arms (celtic punk) on YouTube
- North Of Grand (local pop punk/hard rock) official website
- North Of Grand (local pop punk/hard rock) on MySpace
- North Of Grand (local pop punk/hard rock) on YouTube
- Look Out Loretta (local pop punk/hard rock)
- Slaughterhouse 6 (local ska/alternative)
- Gumbohead (midwestern Cajun/Zydeco band)
- Gumbohead (cajun/zydeco) on YouTube
- Pumptown (local pop/rock) official website
- Pumptown (local pop/rock) on MySpace
- Pumptown (local pop/rock) on YouTube
- Old Scratch Revival Singers (local punk folk/alternative)
- Old Scratch Revival Singers (local punk folk/alternative) on YouTube
- Buick McSnake (local alternative)
- Buick McSnake (local alternative) on YouTube
Favorite Internet Sites
My Internet Sites
My Blog List
Olympic Gymnast McKayla Maroney Says She Was Molested For Years By Team Doctor - The gold medalist says Dr. Larry Nassar claimed he was giving her "medically necessary treatment." She says the abuse began on a team trip when she was 13 ...15 minutes ago
Pentagon Tightens Vetting For Immigrant Service Members - Green card holders must now wait for security vetting to be complete before entering military service. Previously, foreign-born enlistees shipped to basic ...2 hours ago
We're never leaving Afghanistan because it's too good for business - If the Wikileaks disclosure of classified documents concerning the mangled mess that is Afghanistan changes any of the granite-minds of centrist Democrats ...7 years ago