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Thursday, September 07, 2006

HUMOR and CULTURE/SOCIETY: Never on a Hallmark Card

Another email from The Sassy Witch. - OlderMusicGeek

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.


####################################################

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...


Would you like to take this knife out of my back?


You'll probably need it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.



//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I 'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.


=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?


%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.


))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.

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