HUMOR (and POLITICS): “A Happy Wholesome Holiday,” by Reed Martin

This is a poem from one of the boys in The Reduced Shakespeare Company. And any Christmas poem that mention The Batman is a poem worth having on my blog! - OlderMusicGeek

“A Happy Wholesome Holiday,” by Reed Martin

The outlook wasn’t broken for celebration that December,
The family had an accident, two were partially dismembered.
But though the world and several body parts were so divided,
We strove to celebrate the month where wonders coincided.
December 25th the baby Jesus did appear,
In a dank and smelly manger with a little tiny beard.
So we poured our Christmas gravy on our meat with a long ladle,
While the Jews lit their menorahs and their children spun the dreidel.
And many of our friends who are of African descent
Call their Christmas Kwanzaa, but I don’t know what it meant.
It had all to do with virtues and harvest times and herbs,
But I didn’t understand it because I live in the ‘burbs.
And the Native North Americans are nice and sensitive,
They gave up this nice continent for white people to live,
And we gave them reservations where they put up poles of totem,
Which boys are careful climbing so they do not hurt their scrotum.
And the druids in the forest cannot worship as they please
‘Cause extreme environmentalists are hugging all the trees.
In Gotham City, Christmas is protected by the Batman,
And all year round the Buddhists have their own jolly fat man.
All people have a special day this final month has fathered,
Except for those darn atheists who simply can’t be bothered.
Amen.

A link to The Reduced Shakespeare Company website

Happy Christmas and/or Boxing Day and/or Kwanzaa and/or Hannakah and/or Bodhi Day and/or Sanghamitta Day and/or Shabe Cheleh and/or Makara Sankranti and/or Junkanoo and/or Dong Zhi and/or Toji and/or Soyal and/or Yule and/or Seva Zistane and/or Alban Arthan and/or Long Night and/or Mean Geimrech and/or Brumalia and/or Dies Natalis Solis Invicti and/or Saturnalia and/or Lenaea and/or Wren Day and/or Tekufah Tevet and/or Winter Solstice and/or ChriFSMas and/or any other December or winter solstice holidays i missed!

Oh, and Bah Humbug to those who don't celebrate the holidays! :)