- Canadians no longer minding being called Americans when traveling abroad…and no longer necessary to pretend you're Canadian while traveling abroad.
- Smartest guy in room now IS the President.
- Drug companies begin search for compound to relieve new health problem: people suffering from repeated, uncontrollable sighs of relief.
- Citizens find days passing by quickly in a giddy lightheaded state (“Obamaraderie”).
- Reporter-safe puppy. (Or, Barney's bites no longer make the news.)
- White House now Cheney-Free zone…except for his eighth cousin, Barack Obama.
- Having a president whose first language is English and has made a campaign promise to pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear.
- Color blind citizens not annoyed by claim “We're all color-blind now.”
- Warring African nations declare a "ceasefire minute" to celebrate.
- Excuse that lipstick on collar is from “Some teary-eyed Obama supporter in line at Grocery store” accepted at face value by spouse.
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