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Monday, March 24, 2008

CULTURE/SOCIETY and SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION: The Perfect Gift for Easter

Meant to put this up yesterday, but my daughter got a new video game for Easter - and I didn't stand a chance! - OlderMusicGeek

This is from me, not reprinted from somewhere else. - OlderMusicGeek.

Well, I have the perfect gift for anybody this Easter. And it also makes a great Christmas gift too!

Yes, it's the Answer Me Jesus!

To quote the Answer Me Jesus site - Answer Me Jesus™ finally answers the question "What Would Jesus Do?" Like a magic 8 ball but infinitely more wise, Answer Me Jesus™ delivers the answers you seek. Hold the wisdom of the Lord in the palm of your hand and let Jesus shepherd you through the quandaries of life. Hallelujah!

Not intended for use by the closed minded.

And to show how great it works, they have a Ask Jesus webpage on their website.

So I will interview Jesus to show how great it works.

ME: Hey Jesus!
JESUS: I still love you.
ME: What did I do to make you not love me?
JESUS: I still love you.
ME: Okay, fine. So do you think Answer Me Jesus makes a good gift?
JESUS: I died for this?
ME: (uncertain) I don't think so..... So are you saying it would be a bad gift?
JESUS: The holy water will sting!
ME: What? Is the gift too frivolous?
JESUS: Ye of little faith.
ME: Okay, I admit I'm not a Christian. So how about as a gift for non-Christians?
JESUS: Have a nice afterlife.
ME: Okay, you know what? You're getting too snooty for me. Time to end this conversation!
JESUS: Believe.
ME: Believe this!
JESUS: Wait for a sign.
ME: Bye!
JESUS: Resist the devil.

But wait! There's more! Not only can you get the Answer Me Jesus, but there's also the Answer Me Buddha.

To quote the Answer Me Jesus site - What Would Buddha Do? Let Answer Me Buddha™ enlighten you. This faithful plastic friend may only be 6.5 inches tall and 6 inches wide, but he will give you the enlightenment you need to resist life’s temptations. Ask Buddha when you feel you’re losing your Zen and one of 20 responses will offer you guidance in the magic viewing window. “Bend with the wind”, “Seek the truth”, "Good Karma" or “Meditate on it”—you will never cease to be amazed by Buddha’s insight!

Yes, that's the Buddha AND Jesus for all your moral dilemna needs!

But wait! We must crazy! There's still more!

Yes, more than just Jesus and Buddha, the two big saviors!

There's also - if you go amazon.com quickly - Answer Me Santa!

To quote the product description there - Ask Santa a question and turn him upside down for some magical holiday guidance. Answers include "signs point to coal", "if you're good" and "maybe next year".

And finally, I can only quote the Answer Me Jesus website again - Accept Answer Me Jesus™ into your life today and the rewards will be everlasting. Over 11 inches tall and 4 inches wide, Jesus offers 20 different answers to help you choose the righteous path. Ask a question and turn him over—the answer you seek magically appears. Your personal Jesus will respond with wisdom such as “Have faith”, “Yes my child”, or “Sinner”. So the next time you are pondering one of life’s many dilemmas, find out what Jesus would do and repent no more!

ME: You got anything you want to say Jesus before we go?
JESUS: Hypocrite!

A link to the Answer Me Jesus site
A link to all my Easter posts

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